Vitamin D: That's okay. Don't say hello
Lady Marmalade: I didn't know if you were busy or not bitch.
Vitamin D: Oooh, sassy!
Lady Marmalade: that's right
Vitamin D: Out having fun?
Lady Marmalade: no, i'm home in my jammies
Vitamin D: No, I meant before
Lady Marmalade: I went to my nieces dodgeball charity game.
Vitamin D: Wow, you're just like Princess Anne. Zipping here and there with your high octane lifestyle.
Lady Marmalade: true that
Vitamin D: How many injuries were there?
Lady Marmalade: I hate to say this.....none. I was real sad. I wanted some bleeding head wounds.
Vitamin D: Something! Anything! Broken bones, nose bleed, ball to the kidney...
Lady Marmalade: ball to the balls
Vitamin D: Oooh, right in the baby maker
Lady Marmalade: amen
Vitamin D: I'm in my jammies, too
Lady Marmalade: i thought you were at work.
Vitamin D: I am!
Vitamin D: I lke to be comfortable
Lady Marmalade: how about naked
Vitamin D: Well, that's how I sleep, so I was getting to that
Vitamin D: Wasn't the cleaning guy surprised!
Lady Marmalade: that poor bastard. Why don't you just leave him be.
Vitamin D: I am dressed work-appropriate. Jeans, casual pull over, come hither look
Vitamin D: tomorrow, I'm wearing shorts, sandals and my "magically delicious" t-shirt
Lady Marmalade: you trendy whore
Vitamin D: Um, sure
Lady Marmalade: no matter what you wear, the hotness shines through
Vitamin D: I know. It's a problem sometimes
Lady Marmalade: how many people do you have to taser in a day to keep them away
Vitamin D: I totally want a cattle prod
Vitamin D: For everyday use
Lady Marmalade: same here
Vitamin D: So, I was tallking with this guy at work about charity fund raising and I compared getting donations for Arab Fest to getting them for NAMBLA.
Lady Marmalade: yes, but at least you can take your kids to arab fest
Vitamin D: You can take them to a NAMBLA meeting. Depends on how much you like them
Lady Marmalade: or how much you get for them
Vitamin D: He was talking about the work he did for the diabeetus association and said they raised $18000 pre-event. I said try do that when your organization has "Arab" in the title. I might as well be asking for donations to NAMBLA.
Lady Marmalade: ha, you misspelled diabetes.
Vitamin D: I know. I was making fun of 'the diabeetus'
Vitamin D: Like how people call it 'the cancer'
Lady Marmalade: never make fun of the diabeetus, it will find you
Vitamin D: Sounds like Death
Lady Marmalade: it is
Vitamin D: or the night security guard who appears out of nowhere
Vitamin D: I think he might be Death in his day job
Lady Marmalade: ooooooooooooooooooo
Vitamin D: He scared the crap out of me in the kitchen yesterday
Vitamin D: suddenly he was just there
Lady Marmalade: naked with just a gun belt
Vitamin D: to my credit, I did not scream like a girl (this time)
Lady Marmalade: good for you. That is really embarassing
Vitamin D: No gun belt - bandoleros
Lady Marmalade: ole
Vitamin D: ¡si!
Vitamin D: Ever hear Erasure's version of "video killed the radio star'?
Lady Marmalade: no
Vitamin D: It hurts my brain
Lady Marmalade: sounds like it would
Vitamin D: I'll have to listen to the original to cleanse my brain palate
Lady Marmalade: Or think of a cracker or a nice sherbert
Vitamin D: I had green tea cheesecake for dinner. Well, dessert after dinner
Lady Marmalade: Where the hell did you get that?
Vitamin D: Green Tea Cheesecake Factory
Lady Marmalade: A whole store devoted to one thing.
Vitamin D: Fujiyama
Lady Marmalade: where is that
Vitamin D: Hwy 100
Lady Marmalade: no shit
Vitamin D: It's been there for awhile
Vitamin D: next to the Krispy Kreme
Lady Marmalade: no shit
Vitamin D: I wouldn't lie
Lady Marmalade: What an odd combo
Vitamin D: they're not together, duh
Vitamin D: just near each other
Vitamin D: they are strip mall buddies
Lady Marmalade: no i mean green tea cheesecake
Vitamin D: Oh
Lady Marmalade: dipshit
Vitamin D: I like green tea ice cream
Lady Marmalade: I do tooo
Vitamin D: then why is cheesecake such a stretch?
Vitamin D: both dairy products
Lady Marmalade: good point
Vitamin D: My points are always good. And sharp.
Vitamin D: I had teriyaki chicken
Lady Marmalade: oooooooooooooooooo. I loves me some teriyaki chicken
Vitamin D: It was okay
Vitamin D: We went so Chantelle could have her sushi. (bleah)
Lady Marmalade: aren't you sweet.
Vitamin D: It's her birthday
Lady Marmalade: she's 50
Vitamin D: I got her a 'sushezi'
Vitamin D: Oooh, I'm telling her you said that
Vitamin D: she's gonna smack you down!
Lady Marmalade: what the hell is a sushezi
Vitamin D: The easy way to make sushi!
Vitamin D: Sushi - easy 'sushezi'
Lady Marmalade: clever
Vitamin D: I guess
Lady Marmalade: where the hell did you find that
Lady Marmalade: walgreen's
Vitamin D: it's kind of like a cookie press. You load the rice and junk in the sides, clamp it together and push it out the end
Lady Marmalade: sounds like pooping
Vitamin D: No - one of the catalogs I get. Smart House or something
Vitamin D: Can't we have one conversation without you mentioning pooping?
Lady Marmalade: It's an infantile response to stress
Vitamin D: I see
Lady Marmalade: so what are you doing right now
Vitamin D: Checking off files, chatting, listening to music
Lady Marmalade: so tomorrows the official "conversion" day?
Vitamin D: Yep. Then I'm done with this client. I may actually be done by 5
Lady Marmalade: how nice for you
Vitamin D: We'll see
Vitamin D: then another client the week after
Lady Marmalade: when it rains it pours
Vitamin D: So pithy
Lady Marmalade: whatevah
Vitamin D: I'm still totally full from that dinner
Lady Marmalade: i would have liked to try some of the cheesecake. Did they sing happy birthday to chantelle
Vitamin D: Ha! They saw me give her the present so they gave her free ice cream, a balloon crown, turned on a disco light, sang happy birthday, a sparkler candle and took our picture and hung it in the lobby and will post it to their website.
Vitamin D: She's vowed revenge
Lady Marmalade: that is the cat's ass. Use here picture for your christmas card
Vitamin D: No, I want to dress up my cats and take their picture
Vitamin D: "Merry Catsmas!"
Lady Marmalade: nothing says love like pussy for the holidays
Vitamin D: Ever been to the melting pot?
Lady Marmalade: no
Lady Marmalade: where is it
Vitamin D: out here somewhere
Vitamin D: it's a fondue restaurant
Vitamin D: i've never been
Lady Marmalade: say no more. you had me at fondue
Vitamin D: we heard dinner is like $50 per person
Lady Marmalade: what are you eating? Kobe beef
Vitamin D: Wow, either $39 or $45 per person
Vitamin D: or $78 or $88 per couple
Lady Marmalade: imagine trying to cram in 50 dollars of fondue
Vitamin D: you get cheese fondue, salad and a mess o things for dunkin'
Vitamin D: filet mignon florentine
Vitamin D: balsamic sirloin
Vitamin D: shrimp diablo
Vitamin D: sun dried tomato chicken
Vitamin D: pork (pork pork) tenderloin
Vitamin D: mushrooms
Vitamin D: fresh vegetables
Vitamin D: that's the cheap plate
Lady Marmalade: yeah, but you are dunking it all in cheese
Vitamin D: the other ones involve lobster
Lady Marmalade: live i hope
Vitamin D: why live?
Lady Marmalade: it's entertaining
Lady Marmalade: like live squid
Vitamin D: I'm with MTM, it's gross
Lady Marmalade: mtm?
Vitamin D: mary tyler moore
Lady Marmalade: what does she have to do with it
Vitamin D: She fights against throwing crustaceans live into boiling water
Vitamin D: and she has the diabeetus
Lady Marmalade: you have got to be shitting me
Vitamin D: I don't lie about Mary
Lady Marmalade: Yes, the joovinile diabeetus
Vitamin D: There ya go!
Lady Marmalade: thank you
Vitamin D: I want to make chicken pot pie soup
Lady Marmalade: that sounds yummy
Vitamin D: I know!
Vitamin D: chunks of chicken, potatoes, carrots, onions and peas in a thick, savory broth
Vitamin D: topped with pieces of hot biscuits
Lady Marmalade: oooooooooooooo
Lady Marmalade: from where
Vitamin D: My kitchen!
Lady Marmalade: shut up
Vitamin D: the chef at Surly Acres is very talented
Lady Marmalade: and surly
Vitamin D: fuck you
Lady Marmalade: I'll take that as a compliment
Vitamin D: That's how I meant it
Lady Marmalade: I know
Lady Marmalade: are you the only one there
Vitamin D: in this building, yes
Vitamin D: there are two guys over in the helpdesk
Vitamin D: and the ghostly security guard is lurking somewhere
Lady Marmalade: he
Lady Marmalade: 'is stalking you
Vitamin D: No, just doing his rounds
Vitamin D: I got my music turned up loud
Lady Marmalade: you'll never hear death coming like that
Vitamin D: that's how I want it, baby
Lady Marmalade: blind from behind
Vitamin D: I'm talking about death, not your weekend shennanigins
Lady Marmalade: it makes it interesting
Vitamin D: and dirty!
Lady Marmalade: that's what i like
Vitamin D: Can someone tell The Ting Tings to shut the hell up?
Lady Marmalade: god i hate them
Vitamin D: I'm not a fan, let me tell you
Lady Marmalade: i agree
Vitamin D: Okay, what's more awkward then a co-worker (possibly drunk) bring up god in a conversation?
Lady Marmalade: i don't know. but which god
Vitamin D: I'm assuming the Christian one. He didn't seem like a Baal worshipper
Lady Marmalade: ha you said baal
Vitamin D: yes, that was funny
Lady Marmalade: when did this occur
Vitamin D: today. same guy who was talking about charity work. he started talking about how people who donate their time are doing god's work. I shut that down pretty quick
Lady Marmalade: you should have asked him which god
Vitamin D: I don't ask those questions.
Vitamin D: I'm getting a tattoo of mjolnir on my left butt cheek
Lady Marmalade: you are full of it. It's just like the neck tat. and who the hell is mjolnir
Vitamin D: It's a what. Thor's hammer
Lady Marmalade: i didn't know it had a name
Vitamin D: Surprise! I swear on it to confuse people
Vitamin D: The neck tattoo was in response to this ugly loser at pick n save with this weird thing tattooed on her neck
Vitamin D: and bad teethus
Lady Marmalade: and the diabeetus
Vitamin D: she was telling this 'amusing' story about her infant daughter wanting to smoke her cigarettes
Lady Marmalade: darling
Vitamin D: I wanted to write it down and submit it to Reader's Digest
Vitamin D: "This white-trash life"
Lady Marmalade: weeeeeeeeeeee
Vitamin D: I just want to get these people to explain how they think they're going to get anywhere with shit tattooed on their necks
Lady Marmalade: Oh how about "Rantings of the Trailer set"
Vitamin D: She wishes she lived in a trailer
Lady Marmalade: Dumpster diatribe
Vitamin D: heee
Vitamin D: I want to buy a motorcycle
Lady Marmalade: why
Vitamin D: Why not? Zoom around looking cool
Lady Marmalade: only if you wear a fez
Vitamin D: it would blow off
Lady Marmalade: velcro it on
Vitamin D: why can't i just use bobby pins?
Lady Marmalade: ha, you said bobby pins
Vitamin D: why is that funny?
Vitamin D: I didn't say Lake Titicaca
Lady Marmalade: hahahahahaha
Vitamin D: I think I spelled that wrong
Lady Marmalade: it' still funny
Vitamin D: Nope, I was right
Lady Marmalade: yay for you
Vitamin D: I knwo
Vitamin D: or know, whatever
Lady Marmalade: you are not getting an ass tattoo
Vitamin D: that would hurt
Vitamin D: I'll get it on my other shoulder
Lady Marmalade: you'd cry like a little girl
Vitamin D: I don't cry during tattooing
Vitamin D: i wonder what's wrong with me, but I don't cry
Lady Marmalade: just sex
Vitamin D: i cry after
Vitamin D: guess what I'm drinking
Lady Marmalade: what
Vitamin D: no guesses?
Lady Marmalade: pee
Vitamin D: Ha! I KNEW you were going to say that
Vitamin D: now guess whose...
Lady Marmalade: mine
Vitamin D: i'm drinking pomegranate lemonade
Lady Marmalade: It doesn't make a difference, it will become pee anyway
Vitamin D: but it tastes so good going in
Vitamin D: great now i have to pee. brb
Vitamin D: Ahhhhh
Lady Marmalade: that took lomg enough
Vitamin D: I peed in my bosses office
Lady Marmalade: good for you
Vitamin D: boss'?
Vitamin D: Hey, the INA file just finished
Lady Marmalade: yippee
Vitamin D: that's what I said
Lady Marmalade: what the hell is that
Vitamin D: I have no idea. I just check it off the list
Lady Marmalade: great
Vitamin D: Yes, job satisfaction
Lady Marmalade: one checkmark at a time
Vitamin D: I'm using "x"
Lady Marmalade: how daring
Vitamin D: I'm a loner. a rebel
Lady Marmalade: okay peewee
Vitamin D: your new nickname is lady marmalade
Lady Marmalade: sweet
Vitamin D: Mine is Vitamin D
Vitamin D: Everyone needs their Vitamin D
Lady Marmalade: amen
Vitamin D: i wish i had my hookah here
Lady Marmalade: how much crap do you have to check off
Vitamin D: dunno. like 80 files I think
Vitamin D: last one will be done at 3:30
Lady Marmalade: oh crap
Lady Marmalade: you leave at 4
Vitamin D: yep
Lady Marmalade: what could possibly go wromg
Lady Marmalade: wrong
Vitamin D: Nothing, probably. We ironed out most of the issues on Wednesday
Vitamin D: But I'm sitting here, so...
Lady Marmalade: famous last words
Vitamin D: My stuff works, bizatch
Lady Marmalade: anymore crazy calls
Vitamin D: I'm awesome at what I do
Lady Marmalade: i bet
Vitamin D: crazy? here? no
Vitamin D: none at home yet
Lady Marmalade: renters
Vitamin D: I told about the chick from Wednesday? She complained the entire time about the size of the place, the lack of dishwasher, closets and laundry and then still filled out an application
Lady Marmalade: maybe you will get lucky and get our new serial killer
Vitamin D: The Indian dude never showed. But another one answered the ad today. I emailed him tonight and told him to call me.
Vitamin D: I don't care as long as he's quiet, pays his rent and leaves me alone.
Lady Marmalade: oh, he'll leave you for last
Vitamin D: homocidal maniacs needs places to live, too!
Lady Marmalade: go for it
Vitamin D: I'll just make sure he goes for women
Lady Marmalade: he does
Lady Marmalade: prostitutes
Vitamin D: how cliché
Lady Marmalade: iknow
Vitamin D: I just want a normal person who has a job
Lady Marmalade: i guess he killed 8 already
Vitamin D: Who are we talking about?
Lady Marmalade: te serial killer in milwaukee
Vitamin D: we have one?
Lady Marmalade: yup
Vitamin D: Didn't know that
Vitamin D: I'm so behind
Lady Marmalade: i just glanced atthe paper the other day at the gas station
Vitamin D: A jury Friday found a central Wisconsin woman guilty of killing her 11-year-old daughter by praying.
Lady Marmalade: good
Vitamin D: Good. I hope she rots.
Lady Marmalade: not fast enough
Vitamin D: Oh no. slowly
Lady Marmalade: and painfully
Vitamin D: Oh, the serial killer hasn't struck since 2007
Lady Marmalade: but we still have one
Vitamin D: I guess. Unless he moved on.
Vitamin D: or died
Vitamin D: or is in jail for something else
Lady Marmalade: damn
Vitamin D: No, I guess he can't be in jail. They have DNA from all 6 cases.
Lady Marmalade: why are they bringing this up now
Vitamin D: I guess they just figured out that the DNA from a 1998 case matches the others
Vitamin D: The family members of that idiot prayer woman are just as stupid as she is
Lady Marmalade: no shit
Vitamin D: Neumann's stepfather, Brian Gordon of San Diego, said he was disappointed by the verdict and the jury was mistaken. He said his stepdaughter did nothing wrong in trusting in God to heal her daughter. "We should have that right in this country," he said.
Lady Marmalade: to be stupid
Vitamin D: She only faces 25 years. She should get life with no parole
Lady Marmalade: yup
Vitamin D: Ugh. 17% of the retards in this city think she should have gotten off.
Lady Marmalade: crap
Lady Marmalade: she should fry
Vitamin D: No, she should be thrown in prison and get no health care at all.
Lady Marmalade: and caned daily
Vitamin D: well, yeah
Lady Marmalade: i'm sleepy
Vitamin D: Go to bed
Lady Marmalade: ok
Vitamin D: Text me tomorrow
Vitamin D: or come online. Whatever
Lady Marmalade: okay
Lady Marmalade: bye
Vitamin D: bye!