Vladimir Yakamura: Instead of dueling pistols, how about dueling banjos?
Princess Tofu: Oh, you know how to excite a girl. I'll even take out my teeth.
Vladimir Yakamura: that's a very disturbing image
Princess Tofu: for me too. are you at work
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, Indeed, my little chihuahua
Princess Tofu: You say the nicest things.
Vladimir Yakamura: you bet your ass
Princess Tofu: is it just you
Princess Tofu: are you wearing pants
Vladimir Yakamura: just me against the world
Vladimir Yakamura: the cleaning staff is still somewhere, so yes, for now
Princess Tofu: When they leave, off come the slacks!
Vladimir Yakamura: Wow, slacks. Haven't heard that word since my grandpa died.
Princess Tofu: I know, I dated him
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, he mentions you in his journal. I believe he called you "Syphillis Mary"
Princess Tofu: No. I was the "Black wind of Syph"
Vladimir Yakamura: yes, much better
Princess Tofu: Hey, the name sort of sticks to you in my profession.
Vladimir Yakamura: I would definately call you sticky
Princess Tofu: That's not very nice. (true) but not nice
Vladimir Yakamura: Nice doesn't get you to the dizzying career heights I've ascended to
Princess Tofu: Or smart
Vladimir Yakamura: I might be offended if I knew what you meant
Princess Tofu: are you working your stupid shift again.
Vladimir Yakamura: stupid? or insanely clever?
Vladimir Yakamura: 8pm - 4am
Princess Tofu: How about just insane
Vladimir Yakamura: Sure, I'm easy
Princess Tofu: Yes you are
Vladimir Yakamura: back to regular hours next week
Princess Tofu: You must be sad
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, but for so many different reasons
Princess Tofu: Yes like having to wear all your clothes again at the same time
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't understand that sentance
Princess Tofu: You know, Pants and shirts. Not just shirts.
Vladimir Yakamura: Ahhh
Vladimir Yakamura: i'm wearing my wife beater
Princess Tofu: S-E-X-Y M-U-T-H-A
Vladimir Yakamura: I know, right?
Princess Tofu: True that
Vladimir Yakamura: the only problem with no sleeves, is where do I keep my cigarettes?
Princess Tofu: In your drawers
Princess Tofu: Or tape them to your arm
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, because you're making a big assumption
Princess Tofu: That you are wearing any
Vladimir Yakamura: Exactly!
Princess Tofu: Okay. Wear a hat
Vladimir Yakamura: I love hats
Vladimir Yakamura: except for the hat hair
Princess Tofu: Shave your head. Problem solved.
Vladimir Yakamura: i pretty much do that now
Vladimir Yakamura: although, it is getting long
Princess Tofu: Yes, you hippie
Vladimir Yakamura: I was just going to say that
Princess Tofu: spooky
Vladimir Yakamura: that's a fun word
Princess Tofu: hippie or spooky
Vladimir Yakamura: Spooky. Hippie is a stupid word for stupid people
Princess Tofu: so why don't we just call them stupid
Vladimir Yakamura: I do
Vladimir Yakamura: and more
Princess Tofu: yes, i bet you do
Vladimir Yakamura: Can you find Cheryl Pope and tell her to tell her damn friends that her cell phone service was disconnected for non payment and that I know own the number and to stop texting me about their goddam rummage sales?
Princess Tofu: WOW! Why don't you just go to the rummage sale and tell them yourself.
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't want cooties
Vladimir Yakamura: I miss rummage-o-rama, though
Princess Tofu: yup
Vladimir Yakamura: I love rummage sales, actually
Princess Tofu: Can we go to seven mile fair next saturday?
Vladimir Yakamura: Sure, why not?
Princess Tofu: I got a hankering for bad taste
Vladimir Yakamura: and you'll find it. plenty of it
Vladimir Yakamura: Are you busy tomorrow afternoon?
Princess Tofu: Actually, Yes.
Vladimir Yakamura: Damn you. I was going to show the apartment for a bit and figured we could do something fun afterwards
Princess Tofu: Sorry.
Vladimir Yakamura: Poo on you
Princess Tofu: Poo on you too
Vladimir Yakamura: that costs extra
Princess Tofu: only if you film it
Vladimir Yakamura: no faces, though
Princess Tofu: black bars
Vladimir Yakamura: sure
Princess Tofu: Or a cool leather mask
Vladimir Yakamura: Mmmmm, now you're talking
Princess Tofu: I know, right.
Vladimir Yakamura: mysterious and just a little kinky
Princess Tofu: That's the ticket
Princess Tofu: I'm getting the vapors
Vladimir Yakamura: again?
Vladimir Yakamura: loosen your corset
Princess Tofu: I've loosened my bustle twice
Vladimir Yakamura: can you really loosen a bustle? wasn't that just attached to the back of the dress? Now a whalebone corset would really cinch you up
Princess Tofu: Actually, a bustle was tied, But i guess the corset would be more of a problem.
Vladimir Yakamura: especially for the whales
Princess Tofu: It slims them, like the color black
Vladimir Yakamura: have you ever seen a fat whale?
Princess Tofu: Have you ever seen an anorexic one?
Vladimir Yakamura: I know some whales do throw up. that's where we get ambergris
Princess Tofu: Ambergris is not whale puke
Vladimir Yakamura: Ambergris (Ambra grisea, Ambre gris, ambergrease, or grey amber) is a solid, waxy, flammable substance of a dull gray or blackish color produced in the digestive system of sperm whales.
Princess Tofu: Yes, but it's not vomit
Vladimir Yakamura: They throw it up. I never said it was vomit.
Princess Tofu: When whalers went hunting, they didn't look for a puking whale, they just killed them and took out the ambergris.
Vladimir Yakamura: You're inventing a lot more to this conversation than there actually is. Whales do puke it up occaisonally. It's very valuable if you find it.
Princess Tofu: it was used for perfume and alot of other things. They would have had to cover a shitload of ocean looking for whale barf to make any.
Vladimir Yakamura: don't get your Farthingale petticoats in a twist. I'm not saying that's the only way you get it. But that would be a weird job - whale puke hunter.
Princess Tofu: I'd love to see the business card
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, "Ambergris Hunter" is okay
Vladimir Yakamura: i doubt it would say "whale vomit"
Princess Tofu: William Smith, Esq. Marine regurgitation specialist.
Vladimir Yakamura: Sounds sexy
Vladimir Yakamura: chisled chin
Vladimir Yakamura: piercing eyes
Vladimir Yakamura: slight graying at the temples
Princess Tofu: blue eyes
Vladimir Yakamura: His friends call him "Will" or sometimes just "Smith"
Princess Tofu: Limp and a stutter
Vladimir Yakamura: and a slight odor of Wensleydale cheese
Princess Tofu: harelip
Vladimir Yakamura: tonsure-style baldness
Princess Tofu: Hotch-cha-cha
Vladimir Yakamura: what was for dinner?
Princess Tofu: Meatloaf sandwich
Vladimir Yakamura: Nice. I had a ham sandwich for "breakfast" and have a Lean Cuisine for lunch.
Princess Tofu: OOOOOO! Which one?
Vladimir Yakamura: roasted turkey breast dinner
Princess Tofu: "drool"
Vladimir Yakamura: I know it looks good. It's actually defrosting on my desk. Give me a second to go put it away and mix up my lemonade.
Princess Tofu: ok
Vladimir Yakamura: Mmmm, I loves me some lemonade
Princess Tofu: Wow, there are some wicked storms coming our way
Vladimir Yakamura: Stop doing those damn rain dances, damn you!
Vladimir Yakamura: Oooh, too many damns
Princess Tofu: dammit
Princess Tofu: I was just checking the storm predition center website, and the radar looks scary
Vladimir Yakamura: scary like a clown?
Princess Tofu: Scarier
Princess Tofu: Like a lady with a mole that has a hair in it
Vladimir Yakamura: ewwww
Princess Tofu: that's what i said
Vladimir Yakamura: wow, that is a big storm mass coming
Princess Tofu: I hope you packed your bumbershoot.
Vladimir Yakamura: I hope the Whale Regurgitation Specialist all made it back to the harbor.
Princess Tofu: God willing
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't use a bumbershoot, I prefer rubbers
Princess Tofu: On your big head?
Vladimir Yakamura: no, on my feet. I wear a Mac and one of those hats that the Gorton fisherman wears
Princess Tofu: Oh, that sounds so fabulous
Vladimir Yakamura: Maybe I'll do some singing in the rain
Princess Tofu: Or dodging flying debris
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll go outside and Vogue in the storm
Princess Tofu: And get struck by lightning
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, for the love of Thor's hammer... The upstairs window is open in the kitchen.
Princess Tofu: Oh shit
Vladimir Yakamura: Yep
Princess Tofu: Now is not the time to think of that
Vladimir Yakamura: Really? You think so?
Princess Tofu: can you run home and close it?
Vladimir Yakamura: No, I need to be here in case of a call
Vladimir Yakamura: Maybe if I concentrate all my mental powers, I can contact Timir telepathically and he can get the keys, open my door, open the door upstairs, close the window and go back to my house.
Princess Tofu: You're lucky you can get him to crap in the cat box
Vladimir Yakamura: True. Maybe I could pray directly to Thor and he'll deal with it.
Princess Tofu: Hey, give it a shot.
Vladimir Yakamura: If only I had a small Norse town to pillage in his honor...
Princess Tofu: Why don't you sacrifice the first stranger that crosses your path, and light them on fire.
Vladimir Yakamura: You should come down and see my office...
Princess Tofu: No, you don't
Princess Tofu: I'm on to you
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, technically you're not a stranger. Strange, yes.
Princess Tofu: True. Cleaning people still there?
Vladimir Yakamura: Somewhere
Princess Tofu: There ya go
Vladimir Yakamura: Are they really strangers if I've been talking to them all week?
Princess Tofu: But it's not a real intimate conversation, just benign chatter
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm godfather to one of their kids
Princess Tofu: you're screwed
Vladimir Yakamura: Generally, yes
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, but my lawsuit was dismissed
Princess Tofu: and not in a good way
Princess Tofu: really? how the hell did that happen
Vladimir Yakamura: The inspector is coming on Monday to look at the furnaces and as long as he files his report, they'll dismiss the suit. If, however, they find any issues, I will be personally breaking the legs of that fucking realtor who represented the seller. As a matter of fact, I've got to log onto some website Nelson gave me and file a complaint about her.
Princess Tofu: Do it. If not for you, for others who will suffer because of her
Vladimir Yakamura: I still want to break her legs. Or at least sue her for a couple of thousand bucks.
Princess Tofu: That seems fair
Vladimir Yakamura: It's not about fair, it's about revenge
Princess Tofu: pain and suffering
Vladimir Yakamura: exactly, my friend
Princess Tofu: I feel ya.
Vladimir Yakamura: It's nice working alone. I've got Vivaldi playing on the speakers
Princess Tofu: Tell me about it. It was my one true pleasure when i worked third shift.
Vladimir Yakamura: Vivaldi is so fucking classy
Princess Tofu: That, and pants free fridays
Vladimir Yakamura: Everyday is pants-free here.
Princess Tofu: It sounds like paradise
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, that's exactly the word I'd use to describe this place. Except I'd add the word "lost" after it.
Vladimir Yakamura: I believe this building is officially the third ring
Princess Tofu: Oh hush my little cabbage! I work in the third ring.
Vladimir Yakamura: Cabbage, huh? I haven't had coleslaw in a while.
Princess Tofu: coleslaw is soooooo summer
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, because nothing says hot weather like mayonaise.
Princess Tofu: And botulism
Princess Tofu: and rash
Vladimir Yakamura: Rash is year round
Princess Tofu: but summer one's are nasty
Vladimir Yakamura: Rug burn is the worst
Princess Tofu: I'll have to take your word on that
Princess Tofu: and i don't want to know how you know
Vladimir Yakamura: You've never fallen on a carpet and slid a little? It burns.
Princess Tofu: I try really hard not to fall down any more.
Princess Tofu: people used to think i was drunk
Vladimir Yakamura: I suppose as an elderly person, that's best
Vladimir Yakamura: "think"?
Princess Tofu: I 've got child birthing hips to protect
Vladimir Yakamura: For?
Princess Tofu: posterity
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm sure the Smithsonian will be calling any day
Vladimir Yakamura: I won an eBay auction this morning.
Princess Tofu: for what
Vladimir Yakamura: label printer
Princess Tofu: cool
Princess Tofu: for arabfest
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, for me to do Arab Fest stuff, but it's mine
Princess Tofu: tax write off
Vladimir Yakamura: It was only $30 brand new. it's like a $100 value
Princess Tofu: picky bitch
Vladimir Yakamura: Um, ok
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm a bargain hunter
Princess Tofu: I'm just trying to help you. If you don't want help i'll just go away
Vladimir Yakamura: You and your child birthing hips?
Princess Tofu: Jealous?
Vladimir Yakamura: You know me so well. I wonder when my Chinese baby will arrive?
Princess Tofu: I can't wait. I'm knitting a receiving blanket right now.
Vladimir Yakamura: Out of what?
Princess Tofu: straw
Princess Tofu: I want him to feel at home
Vladimir Yakamura: That's why we call you Rumplestiltskin
Princess Tofu: Shhhhhh! Never say my name
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought I couldn't say it three times in a row.
Princess Tofu: say what?
Vladimir Yakamura: Sorry, I was confusing you with Beetlejuice
Princess Tofu: First cousin, honest mistake.
Vladimir Yakamura: and you have the same hair and wear the same makeup
Princess Tofu: There you go again. Picking on my fashion sense
Vladimir Yakamura: I didn't say anything about your shitty clothes
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm just saying that you, like Beetlejuice, look like you sleep in a grave
Princess Tofu: I'm eating a pretzel filled with peanut butter
Vladimir Yakamura: What are those called? I've seen those in the stores. They are like Combos rip offs.
Princess Tofu: No. They are called Herr's peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets
Vladimir Yakamura: Sounds like something Hitler would have enjoyed
Princess Tofu: A good Aryan snack. Hitler approved
Vladimir Yakamura: Wait, they're not Kosher approved, are they?
Princess Tofu: Hell no!
Vladimir Yakamura: Thank the white Anglo-Saxon Christian God.
Princess Tofu: Amen
Vladimir Yakamura: Speaking of fucking Israel, did you hear about them and the Swine Flu?
Princess Tofu: Yes
Vladimir Yakamura: The Mexican Flu? Fuck you, Israel.
Princess Tofu: We talked about it already.
Vladimir Yakamura: It just burns my knickers
Princess Tofu: I want to call it the "fuck you too flu"
Vladimir Yakamura: I saw today that scientists are worried about a swine - avian flu mix. Aren't we panicking enough already?
Princess Tofu: Hmmm! Chicken and pork. Delicious.
Vladimir Yakamura: Sounds like a hot dog
Vladimir Yakamura: Oops, the cleaning guy is here. Have to put my pants back on.
Princess Tofu: Is he cute? Maybe not.
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't think he speaks much English
Vladimir Yakamura: and no, to answer your question
Princess Tofu: And.........Love is the universal language.
Vladimir Yakamura: True, and I do speak the language of the body...
Vladimir Yakamura: through DANCE!
Princess Tofu: Frequently
Vladimir Yakamura: sorry, through THE DANCE!
Princess Tofu: Square?
Vladimir Yakamura: yes, but it's hip
Princess Tofu: You use rap
Vladimir Yakamura: In The Dance? No
Vladimir Yakamura: I use that when I'm teaching literacy to inner-city youths.
Vladimir Yakamura: It helps me relate to them
Vladimir Yakamura: I learned that from the movies
Princess Tofu: God bless you sir.
Vladimir Yakamura: I was actually going to do some literacy volunteering downtown at the library
Princess Tofu: Lucky them.
Vladimir Yakamura: I can finally teach Joe to read
Princess Tofu: Joe. Joe sixpack
Vladimir Yakamura: Joe Mama
Princess Tofu: I'm not familiar with Mr. Mama.
Vladimir Yakamura: Get to know him. Now.
Princess Tofu: Don't take that tone with me missy.
Vladimir Yakamura: There was no tone, just a playful mirthfullness
Princess Tofu: chicanery
Vladimir Yakamura: Don't use your French on me
Princess Tofu: Voulez vou cache avec moi
Vladimir Yakamura: I think the cache part is wrong. You're inviting me to sleep with your collection...
Princess Tofu: Maybe you are right, shit it's not my language
Vladimir Yakamura: Or wait, would it be "do you want to collect with me?"
Vladimir Yakamura: Are you inviting me to go antiquing?
Princess Tofu: Yes that's it
Vladimir Yakamura: You little French tart.
Princess Tofu: You can call me poptart
Vladimir Yakamura: Saggy Poptart?
Princess Tofu: or Freedom tart
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, Lord
Princess Tofu: We beseech thee.......
Vladimir Yakamura: to bless this, thy Holy Hand Grenade
Princess Tofu: smite the french thou mighty smiter
Vladimir Yakamura: My lemonade is gone already
Princess Tofu: don't worry. soon it will be pee
Vladimir Yakamura: so, lemonade again?
Princess Tofu: yup
Vladimir Yakamura: Ha! I laugh out loud at my child-like wit
Princess Tofu: okay........Is the cleaning guy still there? He probably thinks you are nutty.
Vladimir Yakamura: He came and went like the wind
Vladimir Yakamura: give me a seven letter word to use as a password
Princess Tofu: Isn't that always like a man
Princess Tofu: Asshole
Vladimir Yakamura: something not dirty
Princess Tofu: cleanser
Vladimir Yakamura: last time it was Adverbs
Princess Tofu: Oooops that would be eight.
Princess Tofu: How about malcontent
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, Candyman
Vladimir Yakamura: Thanks, Christina
Princess Tofu: Candyman it is
Vladimir Yakamura: Nope
Vladimir Yakamura: I need to have a number, so only 7 characters
Princess Tofu: pustules
Vladimir Yakamura: Pustule would work
Princess Tofu: go for it
Vladimir Yakamura: that's kind of gross
Princess Tofu: you won't forget it
Vladimir Yakamura: I want to
Princess Tofu: carbuncle
Vladimir Yakamura: Florida
Princess Tofu: germany
Vladimir Yakamura: because Flo Rida is on the radio
Princess Tofu: blister
Vladimir Yakamura: It's florida1
Princess Tofu: anus
Vladimir Yakamura: not enough letters
Princess Tofu: anus123
Princess Tofu: superman
Princess Tofu: shatner
Vladimir Yakamura: You can stop now
Princess Tofu: I like shatner
Vladimir Yakamura: Because it has "shat" in it
Princess Tofu: you know me too well
Vladimir Yakamura: I finished the poll with the other ideas for festivals we could sponsor
Vladimir Yakamura: I will use it next week
Princess Tofu: Did you post it yet
Vladimir Yakamura: Nope, this week's is still going
Vladimir Yakamura: Bake Sale is winning
Vladimir Yakamura: Burqa car wash got a few votes
Princess Tofu: Bake sale was a fine choice
Vladimir Yakamura: it sucks
Vladimir Yakamura: it's boring
Princess Tofu: Oh god, the storm is almost here
Vladimir Yakamura: shave your back-a-thon is funnier
Vladimir Yakamura: So, the answers for next week's poll are: Ramadan-O-Rama
Vladimir Yakamura: Islamania
Vladimir Yakamura: Mecca Madness
Vladimir Yakamura: Wudu Across America
Vladimir Yakamura: and Hookahpalooza
Princess Tofu: Islamania sound too close to wrestlemania
Vladimir Yakamura: That's what makes it funny
Princess Tofu: which could be the same think
Princess Tofu: thing
Vladimir Yakamura: Jesus and Mohammad walk into a ring - one will leave victorious, one will leave in a body bag.
Princess Tofu: OOOOOOOOOOOooooooo! Tell me more.........
Vladimir Yakamura: You have to figure even if Jesus dies, he just comes back three days later.
Vladimir Yakamura: It's his party trick
Vladimir Yakamura: it totally impresses the chicks
Princess Tofu: I thought the water-into-wine was the crowd pleaser
Vladimir Yakamura: It would be handy at parties
Princess Tofu: No shit. Never run out of booze or snacks
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, the wine part is okay, but you'd get sick of the loaves and fishes appetizers
Princess Tofu: Maybe he could work it with a sub
Vladimir Yakamura: Now if he could make a single wheel of brie feed a crowd, that would be a miracle
Princess Tofu: and delicious
Vladimir Yakamura: Brie is so gross
Vladimir Yakamura: it's snot cheese
Princess Tofu: it's snot anything
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't want to eat anything described as "runny"
Vladimir Yakamura: and that goes for people as well as food
Princess Tofu: When they bake it, it actually gets runnier
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, now I'm making myself sick
Vladimir Yakamura: I saw Rachel Ray make brie mashed potatoes
Princess Tofu: what the hell for
Vladimir Yakamura: To eat, dumbass
Princess Tofu: I know that. Why ruin a good tator
Vladimir Yakamura: She boiled the potatoes and at the same time, she poached a chopped apple in heavy cream. When the potatoes were done, she mashed in the apples, cream and a hunk of brie.
Vladimir Yakamura: I wouldn't eat it, but it should like it would be good for people who like to eat brie and fruit. You know, the French
Princess Tofu: I threw up in my mouth a little when you described that
Vladimir Yakamura: Speaking of lemonade, I need to pee
Princess Tofu: see i told you
Vladimir Yakamura: Everyone pees
Princess Tofu: and poops
Vladimir Yakamura: That's what I've read
Princess Tofu: I can't believe they keep publishing new additions of that book.
Vladimir Yakamura: I've never read it
Princess Tofu: editions
Vladimir Yakamura: ahhh
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought maybe it was like the dead sea scrolls and they keep finding new bits in caves
Princess Tofu: It's a serial. Every month someone new poops
Vladimir Yakamura: Does everyone really poop? Royalty? The Pope?
Princess Tofu: yes indeedy do
Vladimir Yakamura: Even Princess Grace?
Princess Tofu: not anymore
Vladimir Yakamura: Ha! that's horrible
Princess Tofu: but true
Vladimir Yakamura: that's why you're fun!
Princess Tofu: i know
Vladimir Yakamura: Let me go tinkle
Princess Tofu: okay
Vladimir Yakamura: here's a riddle for you - what's white and smells like disinfectant and an old outhouse?
Princess Tofu: Your bathroom
Vladimir Yakamura: Ugh. It's so gross
Princess Tofu: I thought the cleaning guy was there?
Vladimir Yakamura: Hence the disinfectant smell
Vladimir Yakamura: I think the rotting feces smell is coming up from the pipes
Princess Tofu: enjoy your dinner
Vladimir Yakamura: I won't be eating it in the men's room
Vladimir Yakamura: i'll eat it at my desk
Princess Tofu: yes, but you won't forget that smell
Vladimir Yakamura: If I can put up with the Arabs... Kidding!
Princess Tofu: you got me there
Vladimir Yakamura: I have to mail the stupid volunteers
Princess Tofu: I'd like to see the box you are using
Vladimir Yakamura: I use the puffy mailers
Princess Tofu: leave an airhole, they will snuff it if you don't
Vladimir Yakamura: This isn't my first time mailing people, Princess Tofu!
Princess Tofu: really, do tell
Vladimir Yakamura: Ohh, now I want some Chinese food
Princess Tofu: oh that would be good right now
Vladimir Yakamura: Mmm, or some Thai noodles
Princess Tofu: yeah......
Vladimir Yakamura: Spicy noodles with holy basil
Princess Tofu: yum
Vladimir Yakamura: or orange chicken with fluffy white rice
Princess Tofu: mmmmmmmmmmm
Vladimir Yakamura: Shoot, I would go to Emperor of China for lunch tomorrow but I have to take Asha to get her nails cut
Princess Tofu: That will take all day
Vladimir Yakamura: No, but I don't want to drive all the way, drive her back and then go back down East
Vladimir Yakamura: Maybe I'll find someone to go to dinner
Princess Tofu: try chantelle
Vladimir Yakamura: I call her Wrinkles
Princess Tofu: why
Vladimir Yakamura: Because she's turning 30 and she's "old"
Princess Tofu: looks like a sharpei
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm just giving her shit. I tell her about his old woman I know who's like 50. Now that bitch is old.
Princess Tofu: true that
Vladimir Yakamura: She's a real mess. 50 years old, looks like Beetlejuice - really fucked up.
Princess Tofu: who
Vladimir Yakamura: No one you know.
Princess Tofu: I'd love to meet her to make myself feel superior
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm sure you would...
Vladimir Yakamura: Some of my blood is winging it's way to Yale.
Princess Tofu: What does that mean? They are studying you?
Vladimir Yakamura: They are doing a research study into genetic components of adrenal disease and other glandular issues so they will do the awesome genetic test my doctor wants done (for free!) to determine if my adrenal thing can be treated differently.
Princess Tofu: Like with a gun
Vladimir Yakamura: That's how I want to treat you.
Vladimir Yakamura: And I do know how to load and fire a .22 semi automatic.
Princess Tofu: I know you've got experience
Vladimir Yakamura: And how!
Vladimir Yakamura: but I thought you didn't want to talk about rug burns?
Vladimir Yakamura: No one in the states does the test since it's not insurance company approved.
Princess Tofu: Bitches
Vladimir Yakamura: I know.
Vladimir Yakamura: The fucking Canadians do it
Vladimir Yakamura: and if those backwater hosers do it, why won't we?
Princess Tofu: so.......go to canada
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm getting it done with the research study at no cost to me.
Vladimir Yakamura: And since my regular blood test panels costs hundreds of dollars, I'm cool with it
Princess Tofu: yes, you are patient X
Vladimir Yakamura: I hear thunder
Princess Tofu: I was going to call you a couple of weeks ago. They had a barn fire on tv
Vladimir Yakamura: Fucking awesome!
Vladimir Yakamura: Damn RuPaul
Princess Tofu: why
Vladimir Yakamura: His/her songs are so catchy
Princess Tofu: i know
Vladimir Yakamura: They make me want to put on a wig and shake it all over the place
Vladimir Yakamura: "it" being my groove thang, not the wig
Princess Tofu: ewww
Princess Tofu: oh better
Vladimir Yakamura: I should get a wig
Vladimir Yakamura: dreds
Princess Tofu: yes
Princess Tofu: you can look like michael magee
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't want to look like an asshole
Vladimir Yakamura: maybe I'll go blonde
Princess Tofu: even better
Vladimir Yakamura: I should grow my hair out to see what I'd look like
Princess Tofu: frosted tips
Princess Tofu: do it
Vladimir Yakamura: I will
Princess Tofu: is it lightning yet?
Vladimir Yakamura: My windows are closed
Vladimir Yakamura: the blinds, I mean
Princess Tofu: well, open them up
Vladimir Yakamura: that's hard
Vladimir Yakamura: I just looked and it doens't look like it's here yet
Vladimir Yakamura: but I can hear it coming
Princess Tofu: hmmmmmm
Vladimir Yakamura: Is it raining there?
Princess Tofu: not yet. No thunder either
Vladimir Yakamura: it's bearing down on you like a fat cop going after the last glazed doughnut
Vladimir Yakamura: Hmmm, that was good. I should have been a poet.
Princess Tofu: Yes, you truly missed your calling
Vladimir Yakamura: Maybe I'll write some love songs.
Princess Tofu: Okay Gordon lightfoot
Vladimir Yakamura: You bitch! I have never called you anything even close to that heinous
Princess Tofu: Really! Think real hard.
Vladimir Yakamura: You've really crossed a line, Saggy McFlabby
Princess Tofu: Oh, I've had just about enough of that sassy talk
Vladimir Yakamura: Sassy? Or lyrical?
Princess Tofu: lyrical my ass
Vladimir Yakamura: I smell a gold record!
Princess Tofu: I smell something
Vladimir Yakamura: First get some vinegar and dilute it with water in a squeeze bottle...
Princess Tofu: screw you
Vladimir Yakamura: What? It's a natural disinfectant that gives you streak free cleaning on windows, mirrors and stainless steel appliances.
Princess Tofu: Sure
Vladimir Yakamura: Ooooh, BANG! (thunder)
Princess Tofu: Are you under your desk?
Vladimir Yakamura: Why? Did I go back to 1963 for nuclear war drills?
Princess Tofu: What happens if the power goes out?
Vladimir Yakamura: Emergency generators coupled with backup UPS power
Princess Tofu: Doesn't that screw up what you are doing?
Vladimir Yakamura: My workstation may go out, not sure. But the main computer core (ooh, just like Star Trek) would be unaffected. Work (like Celine Dion's heart) would go on.
Princess Tofu: Isn't technology grand
Vladimir Yakamura: I suppose. Sometimes it scares me.
Princess Tofu: At least your computer doesn't talk to you like Hal9000.
Vladimir Yakamura: I can't wait until our computers are sassy
Vladimir Yakamura: I mean, I argue and yell at mine all the time. It would be cool if it talked back
Princess Tofu: Cool and kind of scary
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, erotic city
Princess Tofu: Depends on whose voice they use.
Vladimir Yakamura: no, the song
Princess Tofu: Playing?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes. Very loud, too
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm playing a naughty song at work out loud.
Princess Tofu: You are very naughty
Vladimir Yakamura: I bet he doesn't play this song at his concerts anymore
Princess Tofu: Not since he became...........
Vladimir Yakamura: Jehova's Witness?
Princess Tofu: I think so. not sure.
Vladimir Yakamura: I think so, too. Not 7th Day Adventist
Vladimir Yakamura: not Islam
Princess Tofu: Something severe and depressing
Vladimir Yakamura: well, something that doesn't allow you to sing "fuck so pretty you and me" in public
Princess Tofu: yup
Vladimir Yakamura: I changed my facebook status the other day to "Dan is acting out the song 'Darling Nikki' at his desk.
Princess Tofu: God, he could do a double bill with Barry Manilow
Vladimir Yakamura: When did he become such a big gay icon?
Princess Tofu: Barry Manilow is not GAY
Vladimir Yakamura: I didn't say he was
Vladimir Yakamura: His shows have a huge gay following
Princess Tofu: I'm kidding
Vladimir Yakamura: Calm down, Mrs Manilow
Princess Tofu: shut up
Vladimir Yakamura: Manilow lover!
Princess Tofu: fuck off
Vladimir Yakamura: Got his box set yet?
Princess Tofu: nope
Vladimir Yakamura: Merry Fucking Christmas to You!
Princess Tofu: back at ya bitch
Vladimir Yakamura: I want the Motorhead box set
Princess Tofu: Happy Fucking Birthday
Vladimir Yakamura: Awesome! Can't wait
Vladimir Yakamura: I think I'm going to download the new Depeche Mode
Princess Tofu: I already have the whole album on my mp3 player
Vladimir Yakamura: Aren't you just the special little whore?
Princess Tofu: yes i am
Vladimir Yakamura: I just wasn't that impressed with the first song
Princess Tofu: To be honest, it's just okay
Vladimir Yakamura: yeah, that's why I didn't download it right away
Vladimir Yakamura: the video is freaky
Princess Tofu: i haven't seen it. I mean the whole album is just okay
Vladimir Yakamura: No breakout hits like Personal Jesus?
Princess Tofu: not really
Vladimir Yakamura: Hmmmm
Vladimir Yakamura: maybe I won't get it
Vladimir Yakamura: I was going to get the new Lily Allen
Princess Tofu: I'll bring my player and you can listen to it first
Princess Tofu: who is that
Vladimir Yakamura: English chick. Her radio hit is "The Fear"
Princess Tofu: ?
Vladimir Yakamura: it's all over the place
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm sure you've heard it
Princess Tofu: probably, but it's not ringing any bells
Vladimir Yakamura: She kind of reminds me of Duffy
Princess Tofu: okay
Princess Tofu: I have to pee
Vladimir Yakamura: Wheeeee!
Vladimir Yakamura: watch out for the lightning
Princess Tofu: more or less
Princess Tofu: okay
Princess Tofu: now it's raining
Vladimir Yakamura: could be worse
Princess Tofu: how
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, wait...
Princess Tofu: yeah other way around
Vladimir Yakamura: Bad night for grave-robbing
Princess Tofu: yup
Vladimir Yakamura: there is nothing like an early summer evening for descrating someone's final resting place
Princess Tofu: Sounds like a date night
Vladimir Yakamura: sure, bring along a picnic dinner
Princess Tofu: mmmmmm picnic dinner
Vladimir Yakamura: What's so gay about picnic baskets?
Princess Tofu: okay. what is so gay about picnic baskets
Vladimir Yakamura: No, I'm asking
Princess Tofu: i have no idea
Vladimir Yakamura: You know, "he's gayer than a picnic basket"
Princess Tofu: never heard that
Vladimir Yakamura: I have on tv a few times
Vladimir Yakamura: I agree a picnic basket isn't exactly butch, but gay?
Princess Tofu: i don't see it.
Vladimir Yakamura: Look at me, working!
Princess Tofu: I'll take your word for it
Vladimir Yakamura: that hurts
Princess Tofu: but it's true
Vladimir Yakamura: still hurts
Princess Tofu: suck it up buttercup
Vladimir Yakamura: Wow, you're like a drill sargent
Princess Tofu: damn straight
Vladimir Yakamura: tough but fair
Princess Tofu: always
Vladimir Yakamura: how's your storm?
Princess Tofu: Raining like crazy
Vladimir Yakamura: just raining here. not had
Vladimir Yakamura: hard
Princess Tofu: lucky
Vladimir Yakamura: I guess. I'm not outside
Princess Tofu: it would be harder to do your work like that
Vladimir Yakamura: and bad for the computers
Princess Tofu: yes indeed
Vladimir Yakamura: It's almost lunch time
Princess Tofu: huzzah
Vladimir Yakamura: Thank you, kind gentlewoman
Vladimir Yakamura: I have many tasty victuals for tonight's repast
Princess Tofu: delightful
Vladimir Yakamura: I want to go to that medival dinner thing
Vladimir Yakamura: medieval?
Princess Tofu: Me too in the worst way
Vladimir Yakamura: you just want to wear a wimple
Princess Tofu: who wouldn't
Vladimir Yakamura: Ummm, eunuchs? they have enough problems
Princess Tofu: You got me there
Vladimir Yakamura: What's on tv?
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, wait, me!
Princess Tofu: bingo
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm a star, baby!
Princess Tofu: okay
Princess Tofu: if you say so
Vladimir Yakamura: I do. often
Princess Tofu: someone has to
Vladimir Yakamura: so, what are you doing tomorrow that's so important?
Princess Tofu: Going to my cousins house. We get together a couple of times a year.
Vladimir Yakamura: sounds tedious
Vladimir Yakamura: i mean delicious
Princess Tofu: actually no. Foods good
Vladimir Yakamura: good for you!
Princess Tofu: My doctor said i should have more interaction with real people
Vladimir Yakamura: oh my god. when I call my colleagues phone, it plays Rush, Rush by Paula Abdul
Princess Tofu: oh how horrible. Say since no one is calling you, you should start calling them
Vladimir Yakamura: I am calling him
Princess Tofu: I mean everyone
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll put you down for 2:30am
Princess Tofu: and i'll sleep through it
Vladimir Yakamura: Is that a challange?
Princess Tofu: go for it kitten
Vladimir Yakamura: I have to pee again
Princess Tofu: I'm getting sleepy
Vladimir Yakamura: and I suppose you'll want to go to bed at some point
Princess Tofu: I'd like to check a little email first
Vladimir Yakamura: ok, then
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll chat with you later
Princess Tofu: sounds good
Vladimir Yakamura: bye!
Princess Tofu: bye