Vlad Yakamura: Hey sugar-tush
Princess Tofu: hello honeybuns
Vlad Yakamura: What's new?
Princess Tofu: Nothing much. Grandma had surgery on friday
Vlad Yakamura: Well, who didn't?
Vlad Yakamura: it was National Surgery Day
Princess Tofu: She had a rod and a pin put in her leg
Vlad Yakamura: She sounds like a jalopy
Princess Tofu: well no, but she can't go through any metal detector without causing a huge problem
Vlad Yakamura: They can rebuild her. Stronger, faster. She's the $600 Octegenarian
Princess Tofu: More or less. Now she can kick ass and really mean it
Vlad Yakamura: Does she make the little 'dun nuh nuh' noise?
Princess Tofu: She always made that noise, and moved in really slow motion. I think that's called really old.
Vlad Yakamura: They're remaking that show
Princess Tofu: Now she has a heart problem they just discovered.
Princess Tofu: What show?
Vlad Yakamura: Bionic Woman
Princess Tofu: Shut the fuck up!
Vlad Yakamura: I will not
Princess Tofu: With who?
Vlad Yakamura: Not decided yet
Vlad Yakamura: NBC is developing
Princess Tofu: Oh that's sad
Vlad Yakamura: There is also a Wonder Woman movie in the works
Princess Tofu: Oh jesus no!
Vlad Yakamura: He's not involved in it
Princess Tofu: Haven't we mined the funnies for enough movies. God forbid they should come up with an original idea. I can't wait for the Mary Worth movie.
Vlad Yakamura: Only if she turns out to be a psychopath
Vlad Yakamura: I bought a new showerhead
Vlad Yakamura: It's HUGE. Feels like it's raining on you
Princess Tofu: And that makes you think of mary worth?
Vlad Yakamura: Yes
Princess Tofu: Kinky
Vlad Yakamura: and Rex Morgan, M.D.
Princess Tofu: Mmmmmmmmm
Vlad Yakamura: So smart, so chisled, so two-dimensional
Princess Tofu: That's how i like my men
Vlad Yakamura: I thought you liked them with moustaches and hairy chests
Princess Tofu: Did you hear about the israeli envoy who was arrested drunk and in bondage gear?
Vlad Yakamura: Yes, actually, I did
Vlad Yakamura: They thought he was missing
Princess Tofu: What a way to go
Princess Tofu: Obviously he was missing nothing
Princess Tofu: He seemed to find exactly what he was looking for
Vlad Yakamura: Grrrrwwwwl
Princess Tofu: a good spanking
Princess Tofu: and a little nipple play
Vlad Yakamura: Sounds like Thursdays at my place
Princess Tofu: Weeeeeeeeeee!
Vlad Yakamura: Speaking of that, I have to buy new curtains
Princess Tofu: I'd love to hear how he explaind that
Princess Tofu: why don't we go and buy some?
Vlad Yakamura: Because then I'll have to install them. I was waiting on better weather so I can throw those god-awful blinds out back by the garbage pick up
Princess Tofu: Too bad you don't have a burn pit
Vlad Yakamura: as far as you know, no
Princess Tofu: Sweet! You little serial killer you
Vlad Yakamura: I'm working on a project in the basement. Bring some lotion with you on Saturday, ok?
Princess Tofu: Hah! I'd like to see you dig a pit
Princess Tofu: Besides, you can't even sew on a button
Princess Tofu: Much less make a human suit
Vlad Yakamura: I just want to spray you with the hose
Princess Tofu: Okay, which hose?????
Vlad Yakamura: I have two sitting by my back door
Princess Tofu: Is that a double entendre
Vlad Yakamura: No, but thanks for being gross
Princess Tofu: I do my best
Vlad Yakamura: that's what makes it so scary
Vlad Yakamura: what's for dinner tonight?
Princess Tofu: Who the hell knows? I've been going to the hospital every night, so it's kind of hit-or-miss.
Vlad Yakamura: I'm making bratwurst
Princess Tofu: From scratch?
Vlad Yakamura: Yes. Killing the turkey, plucking it, grinding it, shoving it in those little casings
Princess Tofu: How many neighbor kids does it take to make a batch?
Vlad Yakamura: The kids in my neighborhood are too fatty
Vlad Yakamura: and stupid
Princess Tofu: Yes but that keeps the sausage moist.
Vlad Yakamura: So does beer basting
Princess Tofu: oh, now you're talking!
Vlad Yakamura: I don't have any beer
Vlad Yakamura: I have wine, but I don't think that would work the same
Princess Tofu: How do you know? It could be very French.
Vlad Yakamura: Oui
Princess Tofu: You could make a lovely cassoulet
Vlad Yakamura: Is that where I take sweet potatoes and pears and cook them up in a casserole dish?
Princess Tofu: no. You use potatoes and root veggies and combine with some awful cut of meat and add wine and cook the shit out of it for 12 hours. Voila!
Vlad Yakamura: Oh, I was thinking of a soufflé
Princess Tofu: Ole
Vlad Yakamura: Semi-Homemade, of course
Princess Tofu: Of course!
Vlad Yakamura: I'm going to Target after work
Princess Tofu: What for?
Vlad Yakamura: Cat litter mostly
Princess Tofu: And 10,000 other things you don't need!
Vlad Yakamura: I need cat litter
Vlad Yakamura: I don't think I'll look at much else
Princess Tofu: You'll be lured in by the siren's song and pretty lights.
Vlad Yakamura: maybe I'll buy a "Magically Delicious" shirt
Princess Tofu: sweet
Vlad Yakamura: It is that time of year
Princess Tofu: Gosh and begorah!
Vlad Yakamura: Maybe I'll see if they have lawn stuff yet. I'll need new chairs this year
Vlad Yakamura: and I have to decide about my garden(s)
Princess Tofu: Maybe I'll dress up like a leprechan on saturday?
Vlad Yakamura: Isn't that what you're usually dressed as?
Princess Tofu: Ha ha! Asshole
Vlad Yakamura: Thanks. I rock.
Princess Tofu: whatever
Vlad Yakamura: Wear some plaid or green on Saturday
Princess Tofu: I'll see what I have
Vlad Yakamura: I'll dye the cats
Princess Tofu: Shouldn't you be leaving now?
Vlad Yakamura: Soon
Princess Tofu: Not soon enough I imagine
Vlad Yakamura: Oh yeah
Princess Tofu: What kind of lawn furniture would fit into your low rent neighborhood. Something inflatible and Nascar?
Vlad Yakamura: Oooh, burn
Vlad Yakamura: I just need some regular lawn chairs
Vlad Yakamura: for porch sitting
Princess Tofu: You don't want to offend their delicate sensibilities.
Vlad Yakamura: That house across the street was bought by Mexicans, by the way
Princess Tofu: How about the front bench seet from a buick
Vlad Yakamura: Well, some brown hispanics, anyway
Vlad Yakamura: I don't know that they're Mexican
Princess Tofu: Ole, I can hear tejano music all summer long
Vlad Yakamura: The house two doors down from me has a sign up
Princess Tofu: Let's see how long the white flight will take now that they moved in.
Vlad Yakamura: We're quite an integrated neighborhood
Vlad Yakamura: white, brown, black, stupid. we've got them all
Princess Tofu: I can't imagine the hillbillies across the street fromyou would be thrilled
Vlad Yakamura: Let's see if I get a Klan invite in my mailbox
Princess Tofu: I bet they are planning cross burnings as we speak
Vlad Yakamura: I love a good fire
Princess Tofu: Who doesn't?
Vlad Yakamura: People made of straw
Princess Tofu: Especially when I get to start it
Vlad Yakamura: Arson is the new black
Princess Tofu: Amen Brother!
Vlad Yakamura: well, I'm going to tinkle and then I'll be running for the hills
Princess Tofu: Run, Forest, run!
Vlad Yakamura: Whatever, crazy lady. Talk to you later.
Princess Tofu: bye