Princess Tofu: don't you ever work?
Vlad: I am working, you skank
Princess Tofu: from home you slut?
Vlad: Uh, no, from my office computer, mattress-back
Princess Tofu: you are at work right now?
Vlad: Yes
Princess Tofu: well isn't that fancy
Vlad: I guess. I'm usually here during the week
Princess Tofu: what should you be doing?
Vlad: should be? I AM working
Vlad: i researched a file, ran the init of another file and am running a full test of a brand new file for a client
Princess Tofu: No you're not! you are chatting with me!
Vlad: It's called multi-tasking. Look it up.
Princess Tofu: fuck you
Vlad: wow, such hostility
Princess Tofu: you bet your ass. I came from work and it brings the best out in me! And my meds have not kicked in yet!
Vlad: We should put you on horse tranqulizers
Princess Tofu: Got any?
Vlad: no. and my vet won't give me cat tranquilizers, either
Princess Tofu: The bastard!
Princess Tofu: He obviously cannot feel your pain
Vlad: bitch, actually
Vlad: well, bitches
Princess Tofu: That's nice
Vlad: yes, my pussies are treated by pussies
Princess Tofu: What a coincidence
Vlad: what are you doing?
Princess Tofu: Nothing much. Trying to get a hold of the lady that cuts my fucking hair!
Vlad: buy a Flowbee
Princess Tofu: It couldn't hurt. Have you seen my hair?
Princess Tofu: It just really pisses me off. She was in fucking Nazi austria for 3 months and now she's home and I talked to her once and she said call on friday.
Vlad: I try not to look directly at you. You've seen me - I use my polished shield and only look at the reflection.
Princess Tofu: Stop calling me medusa! It really hurts my feelings Toad!
Vlad: I wasn't calling you Medusa, it was just calling you a garden-variety Gorgon.
Princess Tofu: Gorgan, Smorgan! it still hurts
Vlad: Not as much as your acid blood
Vlad: I'll brb, ho
Princess Tofu: Whatever
Vlad: I was in a meeting
Princess Tofu: what kind of meeting?
Vlad: a meeting where we talked about stomach upsets
Vlad: and how retarded other departments are
Princess Tofu: really!
Princess Tofu: That didn't take long
Vlad: No. It's an old refrain we sing often
Princess Tofu: The Ballad of the Retardulon
Vlad: Aye
Princess Tofu: ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!
Vlad: Ohhh, there was a slow woman from Kent, who was stupid wherever she went...
Princess Tofu: Yes
Vlad: that's all i got
Princess Tofu: SAD
Vlad: I have a $120 t-shirt. I think that makes up for it
Princess Tofu: You also have a $200 frame
Vlad: $190! don't exaggerate.
Princess Tofu: Wow! don't throw a hissy!
Vlad: can i throw pots?
Princess Tofu: I can throw my voice
Vlad: I can throw darts at your head
Princess Tofu: In fact, I'm doing it right now. I'm talking with my hand like Senor Wences!
Princess Tofu: S'all Right? S'all Right!
Vlad: I bet it's screaming
Princess Tofu: The hell you say!
Princess Tofu: Take that Back!!!!
Vlad: Um, no
Princess Tofu: You are being a "Don't Bee" Bitch
Vlad: Up your meds