Vlad Yakamura: Hey sweetcheeks
Princess Tofu: hello
Vlad Yakamura: What's new?
Princess Tofu: i bet it was easier for the ottoman turks to take over europe than it is to get into Yahoo mail
Vlad Yakamura: Um, ok
Princess Tofu: bastards
Vlad Yakamura: I never have any problems with it
Vlad Yakamura: I just checked mine (twice)
Princess Tofu: I don't have the screen resolution for beta mail, so I have to go back to the regular mail. Besides, you have a computer, I have webtv
Vlad Yakamura: so, basically if we broke this down:
Vlad Yakamura: vlad = awesome
Vlad Yakamura: Princess Tofu = not awesome
Princess Tofu: or better yet; eat=me
Vlad Yakamura: that's doesn't scan for me
Princess Tofu: whatever mr awsome
Vlad Yakamura: thanks ms spellcheck
Princess Tofu: awesome, fucker!
Vlad Yakamura: Wheeeeeeeee!
Princess Tofu: have your fun at my expense. see if i care!
Vlad Yakamura: I love our chats. they are so entertaining and educational
Princess Tofu: I'm not writing "war and peace". What would you like to hear,Monsier.
Vlad Yakamura: I'd like to hear the bells of St Marys
Princess Tofu: go for it. Why don't you go right now.
Vlad Yakamura: Why don't I drive through the fair glens of Scotland while I'm at it?
Princess Tofu: aye laddie!
Vlad Yakamura: don't tempt me or I will
Princess Tofu: Don't tempt me, or i'll go all "braveheart" on you.
Vlad Yakamura: as long as you go commando under the kilt
Princess Tofu: how else do you wear it?
Vlad Yakamura: with kicky pumps and matching clutch
Princess Tofu: with the little piece thrown over the shoulder, and a really huge broach
Vlad Yakamura: as long as the brooch matches the skeandubh, then it's cool
Princess Tofu: okay,
Vlad Yakamura: I wouldn't want to be the worst dressed on the scottish moors, lass
Princess Tofu: God no, I am husband hunting brigadoon style
Vlad Yakamura: once every 300 years or whatever the time frame was
Princess Tofu: something like that.
Vlad Yakamura: so, what's on the agenda, Heather?
Princess Tofu: actually I have a cousin named Heather, thank you very much! I have a couple of insurance places to call today and it's Grandma Friday!
Vlad Yakamura: I was just trying to think of a Scottish name to call you, Sheena
Princess Tofu: "sugar walls" What a great way to represent!
Vlad Yakamura: Shut up, I love "Strut"
Vlad Yakamura: i'll listen to it right now
Princess Tofu: are you at work or home?
Vlad Yakamura: work
Princess Tofu: you mean "work"
Vlad Yakamura: No, smartyboots, I do not
Princess Tofu: Well, i do!
Vlad Yakamura: I have a folder of 80s tunes on my hard drive
Vlad Yakamura: including Strut
Vlad Yakamura: which I'm jamming to right now
Princess Tofu: You are the luckiest boy in the world!
Vlad Yakamura: My two therapists would probably disagree
Princess Tofu: I wish I had a therapist to bitch at. You are the luckiest boy in the world!
Vlad Yakamura: that's pushing the definitions of several words
Princess Tofu: I think I could keep a therapist busy for a thousand years with all the crap going on in my head.
Vlad Yakamura: I don't doubt that for a minute
Princess Tofu: I want to keep a medical professional up at night wondering where I'm at.
Vlad Yakamura: The police already do that
Princess Tofu: How close i am to his house. How well I've memorized his schedule. If he has any pet rabbits.
Princess Tofu: There's nothing like a boiling pot of rabbit to say I'm home, whether you like it or not.
Vlad Yakamura: I find that a nice coffee cake works, too
Princess Tofu: but it really doesn't get the point across.
Princess Tofu: "I have issues!"
Vlad Yakamura: I think the tshirts that say "I have issues" tells everyone that very thing
Princess Tofu: I don't like labels
Princess Tofu: I like people to find out on their own when it's too late
Vlad Yakamura: I love labels
Vlad Yakamura: especially for files
Princess Tofu: You and all your crazy Martha Stewart organizing talk.
Vlad Yakamura: I bought a new three ring binder for Arab Fest volunteer stuff
Princess Tofu: Is it green
Vlad Yakamura: Blue
Princess Tofu: why not green
Vlad Yakamura: they didn't have a green one with the little plastic film on the front that you could slip a piece of paper into
Vlad Yakamura: you can see it when you come over
Vlad Yakamura: it's quite nice
Princess Tofu: how lovely. You must be swelling with pride.
Vlad Yakamura: or something
Princess Tofu: std?
Vlad Yakamura: yes
Princess Tofu: I'm not surprised you little slut!
Vlad Yakamura: Yeah, well, what can you do?
Princess Tofu: Wear a rubber!
Vlad Yakamura: Wow, such frank talk, Dr Ruth
Princess Tofu: Hey, No glove, no love!
Vlad Yakamura: is that what your tattoo says?
Princess Tofu: No. It's a Yosmite Sam that says "back off"
Princess Tofu: The other one says "This end up"
Vlad Yakamura: Instructions are helpful. You should have one that says Insert tab A into slot B
Princess Tofu: Har Har
Vlad Yakamura: Thanks, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitstaff
Princess Tofu: Don't quit your day job.
Vlad Yakamura: I will if I want to
Princess Tofu: whatever you think is best sweetie!
Vlad Yakamura: thanks
Vlad Yakamura: this weekend is Spring Cleaning II - Revenge of the Dust Bunnies
Princess Tofu: lovely
Vlad Yakamura: It may require another Goodwill trip
Vlad Yakamura: I want to go out to the big one and browse
Princess Tofu: I should get rid of a shitload of clothes.
Vlad Yakamura: Bring 'em over
Princess Tofu: I have to bag them up.
Vlad Yakamura: so, bag them up?
Princess Tofu: okay. You're not the boss of me.
Vlad Yakamura: I didn't say I was
Princess Tofu: i know. I just like saying that
Vlad Yakamura: It was just a friendly suggestion you over-sensitive swamp beaver
Princess Tofu: swamp beaver?
Vlad Yakamura: Yeah, I don't know
Vlad Yakamura: If you want, though, bag up the clothes and bring them
Princess Tofu: i will kitten.
Vlad Yakamura: Grrrrrwwwwllll
Princess Tofu: s-e-x-y! Yum!
Vlad Yakamura: Shouldn't you be sleeping?
Princess Tofu: yes
Vlad Yakamura: Just asking
Princess Tofu: But i need to make insurance calls
Vlad Yakamura: ahh, yes
Princess Tofu: I just had to check my email for quotes and then do some calling
Vlad Yakamura: Phone sex chat?
Princess Tofu: no. But now that you mention it...........
Vlad Yakamura: I hear there's good money to be made
Princess Tofu: I can sound sexy on the phone
Vlad Yakamura: I hope that skill is on your resumé
Princess Tofu: You bet your ass! I was a receptionist.
Vlad Yakamura: Where?
Princess Tofu: Music Disease
Vlad Yakamura: ah
Princess Tofu: Look where that has taken me!
Vlad Yakamura: to dizzying heights
Princess Tofu: and mind numbing lows
Vlad Yakamura: sounds like a typical day for me
Princess Tofu: God i wish my meds would kick in
Vlad Yakamura: we all do
Princess Tofu: nuff said
Vlad Yakamura: I don't know what I'm doing tonight
Vlad Yakamura: probably crying in the dark
Princess Tofu: But i am sure you will look fabulous doing it!
Vlad Yakamura: as always
Princess Tofu: Smoking jacket, cognac, silk crying towel, edith piaf on the cd...........
Vlad Yakamura: Ahh, the Sparrow
Princess Tofu: For some fucking reason i can't make my smilie selection go away. I have a window open that won't close, dammit!
Princess Tofu: Nevermind! A good kick fixed it
Vlad Yakamura: your life sucks
Princess Tofu: You can't begin to know how badly. At least i can still buy a gun online.
Vlad Yakamura: Great!
Princess Tofu: That's what i say!
Vlad Yakamura: I'll be telling the news stations that I always knew you'd snap
Princess Tofu: I want you to cry and really go to town when they interview you.
Vlad Yakamura: I'm just going to say how I lived in mortal fear of you and what a psycho you were
Vlad Yakamura: and of course I'll mention the addiction to hard core bondage porn
Princess Tofu: Oh by the way, the other day their was a huge barn fire in the news. Where were you?
Vlad Yakamura: Where was it?
Princess Tofu: Racine, i think.
Vlad Yakamura: Yeah, I try not to go to Racine
Vlad Yakamura: but if I did, I would want to burn things down
Princess Tofu: Elitist.
Princess Tofu: I have a passion for squalor. Look at my house!
Vlad Yakamura: Is it being elitist if I don't like stupid people?
Princess Tofu: No i guess not.
Vlad Yakamura: there ya go
Vlad Yakamura: I think it's almost lunch time
Princess Tofu: my stomach is telling me it's true
Vlad Yakamura: my gallbladder is thrilled by that
Princess Tofu: You and your gallbladder!
Princess Tofu: Why does everything have to turn to your damn gallbladder! You don't hear my pancreas piping in, do you?
Vlad Yakamura: I thought it quit and moved to Borneo?
Princess Tofu: Left kidney went to borneo!
Princess Tofu: Pancreas bitches like an old person in miami.
Vlad Yakamura: not surprising since it's in an old bitchy person
Princess Tofu: Man, you are hot today!
Vlad Yakamura: I know. I'm on fire!
Princess Tofu: En fuego, Senor!
Vlad Yakamura: Ok, lunch time
Vlad Yakamura: good luck with the phone sex thing
Princess Tofu: thanks honey!
Vlad Yakamura: see ya later!