Princess Tofu: good morning buttercup!
Vladimir: back at you, tulip
Princess Tofu: Well rested sweatpea
Vladimir: Was that a question, sunflower?
Princess Tofu: yes my little daisy
Vladimir: Well then end it with a question mark, daffodil
Princess Tofu: Sorry my little nettle
Vladimir: That's fine, stinkweed
Princess Tofu: up yours goat weed
Vladimir: Ram it up your taproot, crabgrass
Princess Tofu: It's amazing how quickly "nice" can just slip away
Vladimir: As I remind everyone at work constantly, the word 'nice' is no where on my résumé
Princess Tofu: So true
Princess Tofu: what's on the agenda today?
Vladimir: Library. Gas station. Store.
Princess Tofu: wow you thill meister!
Vladimir: you have a lisp now?
Princess Tofu: Yes! A thinking lisp
Vladimir: Get the newsletter?
Princess Tofu: Yes! Will it be weekly or monthly?
Vladimir: I think monthly or until I run out of patience for the whole thing, which is probably pretty soon
Princess Tofu: I can't imagine you losing your patience, Little Buddha(sic)
Vladimir: Hard to believe, but oh-so-true
Princess Tofu: So when are we getting together today?
Vladimir: Whenever you drag your rotting corpse over here
Princess Tofu: Wow you can be such a bitch!
Vladimir: What? I mean the corpse you keep in the freezer
Princess Tofu: Shhhhhhh! That's a secret!
Vladimir: Thanks to you and your potty typing, my blog is now xrated.
Princess Tofu: Well there you go!
Vladimir: that wasn't a compliment
Princess Tofu: Fuck you!
Vladimir: that really hurts
Princess Tofu: it can
Vladimir: when were you planning on coming over?
Princess Tofu: let's say around 2:00
Vladimir: around 2?
Princess Tofu: What time would you like me to come over bitch?
Vladimir: well, i'd just like a little more accuracy in the timing aspect
Princess Tofu: I would like to make a small trip to the witchy store
Vladimir: I don't give a shit. I just want to make sure I'm back by the time you get here
Princess Tofu: Okay so lets say 2:00 then
Vladimir: groo. vy.
Princess Tofu: I am glad you are pleased
Vladimir: Ok then. See you at 2
Princess Tofu: Bye Sweetheart!
Vladimir: Uh
Princess Tofu: whatever