Princess Tofu: hey how's it going?
Vladimir: I just tried calling you
Princess Tofu: when?
Vladimir: 3 minutes ago
Princess Tofu: oh, that's who that was. I didn't recognize the number.
Vladimir: try turning on the answering machine
Princess Tofu: Blow me!
Vladimir: how dainty
Princess Tofu: I never said I was dainty! There is nothing dainty about me!
Vladimir: I'll second that emotion
Princess Tofu: What's up little man?
Vladimir: Nothing much. You?
Princess Tofu: just checking some email before I go beddy bye
Vladimir: How excitmental
Princess Tofu: I'm naked!
Vladimir: Me too
Princess Tofu: How does that work for you at work?
Vladimir: Keeps people away
Princess Tofu: I'll bet! Not that I mean that in a bad way!
Vladimir: Thanks. I know what you meant. And it hurts!
Princess Tofu: Soo Sorry!
Vladimir: No you're not
Princess Tofu: Yes I am bitch!
Vladimir: Sure, sure
Princess Tofu: I'm naked and crying right now!
Vladimir: I just yawned
Princess Tofu: Whatever!
Princess Tofu: What were you calling me about?
Vladimir: Now, cuz I'm bored
Vladimir: To hear your dulcet tones, of course
Princess Tofu: Drinking again i see.
Vladimir: Always
Princess Tofu: Try drowning your cornflakes in something other than scotch.
Vladimir: bourbon
Princess Tofu: Oh pardon me! Aren't we fancy all of a sudden!
Vladimir: I am fancy. I have to go to the vending machine and get some sparkling water
Princess Tofu: Right now?
Vladimir: Yes
Princess Tofu: ok. I'll wait.
Vladimir: still waiting?
Princess Tofu: Where did you go for that water? France?
Vladimir: they do make the best water
Princess Tofu: And stinky cheese.
Princess Tofu: And stinky french now that I think of it!
Vladimir: racist bitch
Princess Tofu: How is it racist if I am stating a fact?
Princess Tofu: Their cheese does smell.
Vladimir: cheesist
Princess Tofu: In fact I think their cheese smells because of the french. It kind of wears off on it.
Vladimir: I'm not a fan of the stinky cheese
Princess Tofu: I'm not a fan of the French.
Vladimir: the french don't bother me
Princess Tofu: Really! What about French Canadians?
Vladimir: Those are Candians, that's different
Princess Tofu: How so?
Vladimir: Candians suck
Princess Tofu: Is that he voice of experience?
Princess Tofu: Oh by the way, what is a Candian?
Vladimir: It's the people who live up your ass
Princess Tofu: If it was up my ass I would know.
Vladimir: Really?
Princess Tofu: What's the skinny on the house?
Princess Tofu: Yes, Bitch!
Princess Tofu: Right now I am talking to you, naked, eating peanuts in front of an open window scaring the neighbor kids. Life doesn't get much better than this. God, I love America!
Princess Tofu: OOOOH! My meds just kicked in!
Vladimir: hold on
Vladimir: I was talking on the phone
Vladimir: to a loser (client)
Princess Tofu: Damn you and your working!
Vladimir: The house thing is something I'll have to call you about. They sent me a counter "offer" whic is a complete joke
Princess Tofu: Bitches! Did you get your report from the city?
Vladimir: Nelson got all the stuff. This woman is just insane
Vladimir: Bonkers
Vladimir: Looopy
Vladimir: Nutsy
Princess Tofu: Really?
Vladimir: Verifiable
Princess Tofu: Lovely!
Vladimir: get off the line so I can call you
Princess Tofu: Okay!
Vladimir: this year