Vladimir: c'mon - Vogue!
Princess Tofu: Hello Kitten!
Vladimir: Meow
Princess Tofu: How did it go yesterday with the house?
Vladimir: It's a long and sordid tale of deception, greed, lies, decisions and a little bit of rump-shaking
Princess Tofu: What he hell does that mean?
Vladimir: It's too complicated to type out. I'll have to tell you via phone. Let's just say the sellers didn't disclose some important facts until yesterday after I said I was going to make an offer.
Princess Tofu: So does that mean you are going to offer on the house or not?
Vladimir: Possibly tonight after some more facts are unearthed from the city.
Princess Tofu: Oooooh! Intrigue! I love it!
Princess Tofu: Is there a body buried on the property?
Vladimir: Well, yes and no. I don't want to make this huge financial decision and have to be saddled with the house from Money Pit
Princess Tofu: no kidding! 250,000 in having the rewiring done?
Vladimir: structural stuff, which is just about as bad
Princess Tofu: Let's see. Shitty roof, termites, bad foundation, bad siding, electric not up to code, remodeling without permit, bad furnace, upstairs not legal for habitation, cursed by passing gypsy for spitting, stop me when I get there!
Vladimir: I'm not sure yet. All I know for certain is the foundation issue with the front porch. Several other things might be bad, but I won't know that until some reports are chased down.
Vladimir: And the upstairs looks like a pit. But that's neither here nor there, I guess.
Princess Tofu: So i guess the people upstairs are leaving because of the fact they have done all they could to trash it and now they are tired of it?
Princess Tofu: Or are they looking for a more convenient location for the Meth lab?
Vladimir: I don't know, I haven't met her (I think). I wouldn't have cared, anyway. I would have kicked her out if I bought the place. She has a dog.
Princess Tofu: Great. Now you can spend 6 months in the yard playing "Find the Poopers".
Vladimir: no, the yard looks clean
Vladimir: the carpeting upstairs needs to be burned
Princess Tofu: Amazing! Doesn't the dog shit? Or are they eating it?
Vladimir: and it could probably use a fresh coat of paint
Vladimir: I don't know and frankly, don't give a rat's ass
Princess Tofu: Oh I love to paint! I could help you paint! Painting is my life! Just call me Dali!
Vladimir: Hello, Dali
Vladimir: I don't know easy it would be to rent a flat that has melting clocks on the walls, though
Princess Tofu: Pretty if they are going to turn it into a meth lab!
Vladimir: Oh, here's hoping
Vladimir: I would be one block away from Target. That's walking distance, baby!
Princess Tofu: Now you're talking! You bring home your own cart with your name on it!
Vladimir: That would be so sweet
Princess Tofu: The rent a cop would call you Mr Rodriquez.
Vladimir: I'm sure that's a popular name at this Target
Princess Tofu: We could eat supper at the snack bar!
Vladimir: Awesome!
Princess Tofu: It's the American Dream all covered in cheese food!
Vladimir: Nachos! Popcorn! Hot Dogs!
Princess Tofu: Oh MY!
Princess Tofu: I'm giddy with girlish delight!
Vladimir: Plus, I'd never run out of household cleaning supplies or personal cleansing items
Princess Tofu: It's a little slice of heaven with a lovely floral scent!
Princess Tofu: What an OCD orgasm!
Vladimir: Well, we'll see this afternoon
Princess Tofu: If they pull some crap, I'll curse them!
Princess Tofu: I'm sticking pins in the doll as we speak!
Vladimir: Hey remember Saturday night when I said my leg hurt?
Princess Tofu: Yes.
Vladimir: Sunburn! Both legs, bright pink.
Princess Tofu: Really!
Vladimir: Oui
Princess Tofu: You poor bastard!
Vladimir: I guess. I just have to go to *Target* and buy some sunscreen
Princess Tofu: JOY!
Vladimir: Very much so.
Princess Tofu: I bet you could become customer of the month. Your own parking space with your name on it!
Vladimir: I might get a job there, if I get the house
Princess Tofu: Or a urinal with your name on it!
Vladimir: I can do that with a Sharpie(tm)
Princess Tofu: Hell, I could get a weekend job there so you could get a discount on your OCD supplies!
Vladimir: I want a job so I get a discount, hello. New shower curtains, linens, kitchen crap, kitty litter
Vladimir: cleaning supplies, soap, shampoo
Vladimir: Garden stuff. Home decor
Vladimir: Wife beater and matching panties set
Princess Tofu: You little devil!
Princess Tofu: I just love the hell out your "can do" attitude!
Vladimir: Thanks, it's the pills
Princess Tofu: I could say the same thing.
Princess Tofu: OH! Discount on your prescriptions!
Vladimir: It's actually the pills and the early morning drinking
Princess Tofu: Nothing like prozac with a whisky chaser!
Vladimir: Nothing like whiskey with a bourbon chaser
Princess Tofu: SWEET!
Vladimir: Anything else new?
Princess Tofu is offline
Princess Tofu is online
Vladimir: online tease
Princess Tofu: Bastard salesmen!
Vladimir: tell us how you really feel
Princess Tofu: There aren't enough hours in the day!
Vladimir: heh
Princess Tofu: To tell you how I feel about them dammit!
Princess Tofu: I need to check some email and get some sleep. I'll talk to you later!
Vladimir: Let me call you
Princess Tofu: Sweet! Bye
Vladimir: bye