Princess Tofu: Hey cutie pie!
Vladimir Yakamura: I prefer to think of myself as classically handsome
Princess Tofu: Okay if you say so.
Vladimir Yakamura: I do, actually. I say it often.
Princess Tofu: It's good to believe in yourself.
Vladimir Yakamura: Are you going to break out into a Celine Dion song?
Princess Tofu: Of course.
Vladimir Yakamura: thank heaven I'm miles away
Princess Tofu: snot
Vladimir Yakamura: Whatever. Pucker up, buttercup
Princess Tofu: What are you doing now?
Vladimir Yakamura: Trading half-hearted insults with a borderline half-wit
Vladimir Yakamura: And I just loaded up Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" remix
Princess Tofu: Sweet!
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm shaking my groove thang all over the room
Princess Tofu: Really!?!?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, metaphorically
Princess Tofu: What else are you doing?
Vladimir Yakamura: How many things should I be doing at once?
Princess Tofu: Multitask
Vladimir Yakamura: Talking to you and listening to music. that's mulitple things
Princess Tofu: whatever
Vladimir Yakamura: If you don't like it, you can just come down here and smooch my big ole white butt.
Princess Tofu: Lovely!
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm quoting from Ferris Bueller today
Princess Tofu: Wonderful!
Vladimir Yakamura: what a little bitch
Vladimir Yakamura: sorry, what a little asshole
Princess Tofu: I have never been little.
Princess Tofu: Except when i was born. and that didn't last long.
Vladimir Yakamura: This song is 9 minutes 34 seconds long
Princess Tofu: Jesus. Almost as long as the movie!
Vladimir Yakamura: Never saw it
Vladimir Yakamura: won't see it
Princess Tofu: Didn't miss anything.
Vladimir Yakamura: I saw the clip where Leonardo lets go of the ice and drowns. I laughed.
Princess Tofu: Well, Billy Zane with a bad wig.
Vladimir Yakamura: was he naked?
Princess Tofu: No, darn it.
Vladimir Yakamura: eh, then who cares
Princess Tofu: Leonardo was naked.
Vladimir Yakamura: ugh. great
Princess Tofu: he's got the shape of a 10 year old.
Vladimir Yakamura: If I want to see skinny naked boys, I'll hang out in a middle school locker room
Princess Tofu: nice. you are going to hell for that.
Vladimir Yakamura: You didn't let me finish
Vladimir Yakamura: I was going to say either hang out in a middle school locker room or your house every Thursday night
Princess Tofu: Fuck you dear!
Vladimir Yakamura: It was clearly a joke, love lumps
Princess Tofu: So you say.
Vladimir Yakamura: Neither of us hangs out with naked middle-school boys
Princess Tofu: Hell, I can't even hang out with naked middle school teachers.
Vladimir Yakamura: That's just nasty. Unless they're hot
Princess Tofu: Now you're talking!
Vladimir Yakamura: Go Brittney!
Princess Tofu: Did you see the story about the teacher's aid in racine? She was screwing two 15 year olds and one is the father of her child. What a horse.
Vladimir Yakamura: It's like an epidemic recently
Princess Tofu: Yes, and none of them are too pretty. what gives? Have we really lowered our kid s standards that much?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, at 15 I guess hot loving is hot loving
Princess Tofu: eeeeewwwwww!
Vladimir Yakamura: whatever, sensitiva
Princess Tofu: The nazi farmer's memorial made national news.
Vladimir Yakamura: Fucking idiot
Princess Tofu: If they know he was a nazi volunteer, why didn't they arrest him?
Vladimir Yakamura: that's what I'd like to know. deport his sorry ass
Princess Tofu: Obviously they know what he did during the war.
Vladimir Yakamura: And he doesn't think the global conflict was really Hitler's fault
Vladimir Yakamura: He was a just a misunderstood artist
Princess Tofu: go figure
Princess Tofu: A shitty artist at that
Princess Tofu: making up for his "shortcomings" if you know what i mean
Vladimir Yakamura: well, let's be serious, the Jews had it coming
Princess Tofu: That's hard to argue.
Vladimir Yakamura: If they had just been less "Jew-y", Hitler would have probably left them alone
Princess Tofu: good point.
Vladimir Yakamura: He just got tired of the local bakery only carrying bagels instead of strudel. And if he had to hear "Oy Vey" one more time...
Princess Tofu: I think it was all the smoking and meat. You know Hitler.
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought he was a vegetarian?
Princess Tofu: That 's what I mean.
Vladimir Yakamura: that's always my reply to the nutty vegan and peta people. "I'm a vegetarian."
Vladimir Yakamura: "Yeah? So was Hitler."
Princess Tofu: Lovely!
Vladimir Yakamura: Ok sex kitten I have to go get ready for my day.
Princess Tofu: You have your house showing at 1:30 ?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yep
Vladimir Yakamura: Let's plan on 3 for party time
Princess Tofu: Sweet!
Vladimir Yakamura: That gives me time to write an offer if I like the place
Princess Tofu: Wonderful! bye
Vladimir Yakamura: bye