Princess Tofu: Who is Kristopher?
Vladimir: Uhh, some guy? Are you drunk?
Princess Tofu: No I'm reading your blog.
Vladimir: No idea what you're talking about. I vote drinking
Princess Tofu: No it's a lovely conversation between you and Ilsa about librady books and someone named Kristopher?
Vladimir: I don't know. I change names to protect me
Princess Tofu: From what?
Vladimir: I have no idea
Vladimir: what was I talking about?
Princess Tofu: I don't know I forgot!
Vladimir: I have no idea. I always change names so no one knows if I'm talking about them
Princess Tofu: Damn it's supposed to be hot tomorrow! The game place has no air conditioning!
Vladimir: Yes he does. He just doesn't like the clammy feel
Princess Tofu: bitch
Princess Tofu: It better be on tomorrow!
Vladimir: I'm sure it will be. Remember? Last time he asked us if he should turn it on.
Princess Tofu: I'm getting a yen to play "Run for your Life Candyman".
Vladimir: I'm getting a yen to kick your ass
Princess Tofu: save your strength. I've got a lot of ass to kick!
Vladimir: I take vitamins
Princess Tofu: Lots and Lots I hope!
Vladimir: Multivitamin
Princess Tofu: OOOOOOH fancy!
Vladimir: thanks. Target brand
Vladimir: compare ingredients to Centrum(tm) complete.
Princess Tofu: How informative.
Vladimir: thanks. so ask my why I hate people
Vladimir: sorry, ask me why I hate people
Princess Tofu: okay! Why do you hate people?
Vladimir: Cuz I was going to put in another offer on the house and they were like 'bite me' and I was all like 'bite me harder' and they were like 'real mature' and I was all 'I'm rubber, you're glue'
Princess Tofu: Really!?!
Vladimir: Well, sort of. Before I could put in another offer, their agent called my agent and said unless I was going to bid asking price, not to bother
Princess Tofu: Fuck her then!
Vladimir: Exactly. There are other fish in the sea. Better fish with fireplaces and refinished basements.
Princess Tofu: Maybe this is a sign.
Vladimir: Of what? That I'm doomed to live in Casa Despair for all of eternity?
Princess Tofu: Hope against hope!
Princess Tofu: That rathole is starting to grow on me like a fungus.
Vladimir: Fuck you. You can live here. I'm still house hunting
Princess Tofu: No thanks. I already have my time share in the 10th level of hell.
Vladimir: I thought you were tight with the owner?
Princess Tofu: I am. But her son is still fucking crazy. Oh, and they have started fighting again. I hope that means they are drinking again.
Vladimir: I meant the owner of hell
Princess Tofu: Whatever bitch!
Vladimir: Thanks. Talking to you always cheers me up.
Vladimir: So, anyway, say goodbye to 2825 S Craphole St
Princess Tofu: Goodbye crazy bitch!
Vladimir: I hope it burns down
Princess Tofu: Dreams can come true at a price.
Vladimir: I'll just sit at home and hope she gets the clap
Princess Tofu: She probably has the Syph, that's why she's crazy.
Vladimir: say hello to 2079 S Wonderbar Ave
Princess Tofu: Close to what street?
Vladimir: 25th and Becher
Princess Tofu: Oh God Help You!
Vladimir: why?
Princess Tofu: My barber used to have a shop on 28th and beecher. His windows were shot out twice, and someone was stabbed in the neck across the street in a fight.
Vladimir: Awesome!
Vladimir: I'm moving in right now!
Princess Tofu: It really all depends on how fast you can run from the car to the house!
Vladimir: attached garage
Princess Tofu: OOOH!
Princess Tofu: When are you going to look at it?
Vladimir: I don't know. As soon as I get an appointment. I might drive by it today
Princess Tofu: I had a friend I worked with who lived on 24th and beecher. a guy drove his car into her house.
Vladimir: and? how is her being a slut have any effect on me?
Princess Tofu: No! Real Car! Real house!
Vladimir: Again - and?
Vladimir: I'm not her.
Princess Tofu: Just making conversation you touchy whore!
Princess Tofu: It was a really nice house though.
Vladimir: This one looks nice in the picture
Vladimir: but thanks to you and your black crepe-paper attitude, I just called Nelson and said no to it.
Princess Tofu: Are h
Princess Tofu: are you kidding?
Vladimir: Nope
Vladimir: I'm moving on to E Potter Street in Bay View
Princess Tofu: Yeah!
Vladimir: fucking cunt receptionist
Princess Tofu: You'll be right down the block from McDonalds and the Library.
Vladimir: Nice!
Princess Tofu: What receptionist?
Vladimir: at the realty office
Princess Tofu: What's her problem?
Vladimir: "Your agent needs to make the appointment"
Vladimir: suck me
Princess Tofu: Whore!
Vladimir: I know.
Princess Tofu: What's the address of the agency? I'll go over there and kick her ass!
Vladimir: I don't know. I should find out and make harrassing phone calls
Princess Tofu: Sweet!
Vladimir: So, my agent is going to make me an appointment to see it tomorrow
Princess Tofu: Lovely!
Vladimir: It sounds nice. duplex
Princess Tofu: What else does the ad say about it?
Vladimir: I'll tell you in a minute when the report is finished
Princess Tofu: ok
Vladimir: I have a showing tomorrow at 1:30
Princess Tofu: Okay
Princess Tofu: What's the asking price?
Vladimir: One MILLION dollars
Princess Tofu: See if you can get a 200 year mortgage!
Vladimir: I am!
Vladimir: Ok, it's a duplex
Vladimir: HWFs, stained glass windows, garage, large fenced yard
Princess Tofu: I'm drooling already!
Vladimir: detached garage
Princess Tofu: ok
Vladimir: I have a living room, dining room, kitchen, master bedroom, 2nd bedroom
Vladimir: upstairs has living room, kitchen and two bedrooms
Princess Tofu: Is it occupied right now?
Vladimir: Owner occupied, I believe. That's why we have to give 24 hours notice
Princess Tofu: Is there someone upstairs?
Vladimir: No clue
Vladimir: I'll find out tomorrow
Princess Tofu: Yippy!
Vladimir: I saw one with a fireplace and got all excited, but there is already an offer on it. Then I found out the FP was electric, so I didn't give a shit anymore.
Vladimir: By the way, when I have my housewarming, I'm asking for a Roomba
Princess Tofu has been disconnected
Princess Tofu has reconnected
Princess Tofu: Freaking Msn!
Vladimir: maybe it's you
Princess Tofu: eat me
Vladimir: wow
Vladimir: did you get my last announcement?
Princess Tofu: No!
Vladimir: when I have my housewarming, I'm asking for a Roomba
Princess Tofu: Why not ask for a toaster oven and a blender while you're at it!
Vladimir: Depends on the room I have in whatever kitchen I get
Vladimir: If I had got the last place, only room for a microwave, nothing else
Princess Tofu: That won't do.
Vladimir: eh, I would have lived
Vladimir: especially with hardwood floors and a Roomba!
Princess Tofu: I'm getting giddy!
Vladimir: Somewhere the cats can scamper and play
Princess Tofu: And a little misty eyed.
Vladimir: I'm going to do some laundry
Princess Tofu: Hey, I have to go take a shower and get dressed. I'm going somewhere.
Vladimir: where are we going?
Princess Tofu: "We". Do you mean that in a regal sense?
Vladimir: sure, whatever. where?
Princess Tofu: Going to the movies with my parents.
Vladimir: You should blow them off and do laundry and lunch with me.
Princess Tofu: Don't you have to work?
Vladimir: I'm at home. Day off
Princess Tofu: I'll probably be home after 3pm. you want to go then?
Vladimir: don't you have to go to bed?
Princess Tofu: No not necessarily. Not really tired right now.
Vladimir: Well, I am doing all my clothes, plus sheets plus the cat-hair covered blankets. I want to do it during the day when there's plenty of washers and dryers
Princess Tofu: Hey it's up to you.
Vladimir: Thanks anyway, sweetpea
Vladimir: If you'd rather hang out with your parents then doing something fun, who am I to stop you?
Princess Tofu: You are not making me feel guilty. If you want to go later let me know. It won't be as hot later.
Vladimir: I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, just foolish
Princess Tofu: too late
Vladimir: I hear that
Princess Tofu: well, I have to go get ready now
Vladimir: me too
Vladimir: see you tomorrow afternoon
Princess Tofu: hugs and kisses! I hope it goes okay.
Vladimir: Me too. I'll give you the skinny tomorrow
Princess Tofu: Yay! bye