Princess Tofu: What up G?
Vladimir Yakamura: Ran some errands. Now drinking Kool-Aid(tm)
Princess Tofu: you lucky bastard! I'm drinking some lovely diet green tea with citrus.
Vladimir Yakamura: I just bought sugar-free Tropical Punch Kool-Aid(tm)
Vladimir Yakamura: and forgot my diet, caffeine-free Dr. Pepper(r)
Princess Tofu: You need to write little lists for yourself. You know, getting a little older, a little forgetful!
Vladimir Yakamura: Actually, I didn't get it right away, because I didn't have a cart, just one of those little baskets and wanted to finish everything else before I grabbed the soda.
Vladimir Yakamura: Then, a new lane opened up and I was so giddy, I forgot the soda.
Vladimir Yakamura: But I have water, milk and now Kool-Aid(tm)
Princess Tofu: Well that covers the basics.
Vladimir Yakamura: So does Fun with Dick and Jane.
Princess Tofu: I don't want to hear about your sordid afternoon activities!
Vladimir Yakamura: See the neighbors! Hi neighbors. Hear the neighbors fight. Fight, fight. Watch me moving out of this dump and leaving the trashy neighbors behind. Move, move.
Princess Tofu: Look dick look. See the city condemn. Condemn city condemn. Look at the landlord. See him in jail. naughty landlord!
Vladimir Yakamura: He's a troll. What can you expect from a Troll?
Princess Tofu: I never got the joy of meeting the troll.
Vladimir Yakamura: You shouldn't unless you're wearing class 7 armor or above. Or unless you're protected by a cloak of the elves.
Princess Tofu: Or the Nipples of Danger!
Vladimir Yakamura: Or the Codpiece of Rightousness
Princess Tofu: Or the Singing sword of Despair!
Vladimir Yakamura: I think that's around here somewhere...
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought it was the groaning sword
Vladimir Yakamura: no, the droning sword!
Princess Tofu: Yes, droning sword!
Vladimir Yakamura: Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Princess Tofu: Exactly!
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, you are the Funkiller
Princess Tofu: Hell yeah G!
Vladimir Yakamura: I was telling whatever-her-name is about calling this place Casa Despair. Where dreams go to die.
Princess Tofu: What did she say?
Vladimir Yakamura: She laughed.
Vladimir Yakamura: She asked about what stuff he's fixed and what stuff he's left.
Princess Tofu: That's cause she doesn't live here anymore!
Vladimir Yakamura: She's moving to Minnesota in August
Princess Tofu: I'm sure nothing was fixed from the time she left.
Princess Tofu: Why Minnesota?
Vladimir Yakamura: He must have slapped some paint in the bathroom.
Vladimir Yakamura: She digs Prince.
Princess Tofu: Then why don't you marry her!
Vladimir Yakamura: Why?
Princess Tofu: You like Prince. You both shared the same hellish abode. It seems like fate.
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, Prince is a sexy mother fucker.
Princess Tofu: I hear that!
Vladimir Yakamura: She's getting divorced from her husband and she likes the Minnesota school system better than ours.
Princess Tofu: Really?
Princess Tofu: Was she married to him when she lived in the Domicile of Disaster?
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't think so. Not sure.
Vladimir Yakamura: I just sent Mike a text message "Man, these sheets are so soft."
Princess Tofu: What the hell is it with the sheets?
Vladimir Yakamura: Implying I'm in his bed
Princess Tofu: Sweet!
Vladimir Yakamura: Would you ever sleep on flannel sheets?
Princess Tofu: I have flannel sheets. I love them. They are a little bit toasty though.
Vladimir Yakamura: Bleah. The very thought makes me sweat
Vladimir Yakamura: I want to buy some new sheets. I saw a groovy orange set at Bed Bath Linens and Stuff
Princess Tofu: Orange?
Princess Tofu: How Gay!
Vladimir Yakamura: Up. Yours.
Princess Tofu: Thank you.
Vladimir Yakamura: My favorite colors are green and orange
Princess Tofu: How sunkist of you.
Vladimir Yakamura: Not together, though
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll probably paint my bedroom green
Vladimir Yakamura: a nice cool light green. but not too cold.
Princess Tofu: I love to paint! You supply the pizza and i'm there!
Vladimir Yakamura: You do realize what I have to start doing, don't you?
Princess Tofu: What?
Vladimir Yakamura: C'mon, guess
Princess Tofu: Let's see..........PACK!
Vladimir Yakamura: I feel like just leaving it all here and starting over.
Princess Tofu: I'm sure that's got my name written all over it!
Vladimir Yakamura: Lot's of it is still in boxes, but I did have to open some to find some stuff. I'll have to drag all of the open ones out, repack them or do it over.
Vladimir Yakamura: All the books are still packed. The CDs, the DVDS
Vladimir Yakamura: The glassware (probably all broken by now) and all my dishes.
Princess Tofu: That's not so bad!
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll finally have more than one plate, one bowl, two forks a spoon and a knife.
Vladimir Yakamura: fuck, I forgot to show you my new chopsticks
Princess Tofu: Hooray for cutlery!
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, hooray for being able to have more than one person over to my house at a time.
Princess Tofu: What does the tub look like in the bathroom at your "New House"?
Vladimir Yakamura: Just a regular old tub
Vladimir Yakamura: It's a nice bathroom
Princess Tofu: Not like the shit hole you are leaving!
Vladimir Yakamura: Shit hole isn't quite strong enough for this place. The decor, the windows, the hole in the ceiling, the parking, the neighbors. they all come together to make an exciting melange of depression and hopelessness.
Princess Tofu: Just the description of it sucks out my very will to live!
Vladimir Yakamura: as if you had one before
Princess Tofu: I'm just saying.........
Vladimir Yakamura: I need some music
Princess Tofu: Something swinging!
Vladimir Yakamura: no, Music
Princess Tofu: Que?
Vladimir Yakamura: Music
Princess Tofu: Madonna?
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh yeah, baby
Vladimir Yakamura: Hey Mr. DJ, put a record on. I want to dance with my baby.
Princess Tofu: Sweet!
Princess Tofu: So what else are you planning to do with your day?
Vladimir Yakamura: Probably going to go watch some movies
Princess Tofu: Where?
Vladimir Yakamura: In my spacious home theatre
Princess Tofu: You're giddy with the taste of freedom!
Vladimir Yakamura: I have some borrowed DVDs I should watch. War of the Worlds and some Chinese crap
Princess Tofu: Does it actually say Chinese Crap on it?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes. But in Chinese
Princess Tofu: Then how do you know it says "crap"?
Vladimir Yakamura: I read Chinese
Princess Tofu: My ass!
Vladimir Yakamura: Guess who's autobiography I checked out from the library?
Princess Tofu: Who?
Vladimir Yakamura: Wagner.
Princess Tofu: Robert?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, he confesses to pushing Natalie Wood off that boat. And he totally did Stefanie Powers.
Princess Tofu: See, I knew it! Bastard!
Princess Tofu: Oh you are talking about the nazi loving wagner!
Vladimir Yakamura: You betcha
Vladimir Yakamura: tranlated from the original German. It's as big as an encyclopedia
Princess Tofu: So was Mein Kampf.
Vladimir Yakamura: Of course it was wordy. What else did he have to do in prison?
Princess Tofu: Yeah, but, it was also boring trite shit!
Vladimir Yakamura: Let's get the audiobook version!
Princess Tofu: The only thing that would have made it better is if he would of illustrated it with some of his awful art.
Vladimir Yakamura: just like john wayne gacy
Princess Tofu: I wonder who would read the audiobook version?
Vladimir Yakamura: Werner Klemperer
Vladimir Yakamura: or is he dead?
Vladimir Yakamura: heh, it certainly won't be read by Aaron Spelling.
Princess Tofu: No! He's still alive and very much a Jew.
Vladimir Yakamura: He's a dead Jew.
Princess Tofu: No! werner Klemperer is a live Jew!
Princess Tofu: Aaron spelling is a dead jew!
Vladimir Yakamura: I meant Aaron. Werner did play a Nazi on tv. He's probably ok with doing the audiobook.
Princess Tofu: He did escape from a concentration camp as a Jungen!
Vladimir Yakamura: Someone has recorded it
Princess Tofu: Who?
Vladimir Yakamura: No one I've heard of
Princess Tofu: A Nazi!
Vladimir Yakamura: Robert Donald
Princess Tofu: It's a code name.
Vladimir Yakamura: for Goebbels?
Princess Tofu: Yes!
Vladimir Yakamura: sweet
Princess Tofu: Burned in fire my ass!
Vladimir Yakamura: I have to show you my new chopsticks
Princess Tofu: Maybe they added a little subliminal sex to it to make it interesting.
Vladimir Yakamura: but none of that homo sex. Hitler hated that.
Princess Tofu: True enough!
Princess Tofu: What's the story with the chopsticks?
Vladimir Yakamura: They are spring-loaded. They look like huge clothespins
Princess Tofu: Shut up!
Vladimir Yakamura: I will not!
Princess Tofu: Where did you get them?
Vladimir Yakamura: CB2
Princess Tofu: What the hell is that?
Vladimir Yakamura: Some crate and barrel thingy
Princess Tofu: Did you order on line or buy in a store?
Vladimir Yakamura: Online
Vladimir Yakamura: They only have CB2 stores in Chicago
Princess Tofu: How much?
Vladimir Yakamura: $3.95 each
Princess Tofu: Plastic?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yep. Dishwasher safe
Vladimir Yakamura: green, red, orage, black.
Princess Tofu: Wild!
Vladimir Yakamura: and so Asian
Princess Tofu: Yes indeedy!
Vladimir Yakamura: I might use a pair tonight for my lo mein
Princess Tofu: Lovely! I'm jealous!
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm going to have to find a new Chinese delivery place near my new house. And a new pizza place.
Princess Tofu: God I hope there is something!
Vladimir Yakamura: And map out the closest Target and Pick N Save.
Princess Tofu: There is a pick N save on 70th and greenfield.
Vladimir Yakamura: Schweet!
Princess Tofu: Not so sure about the Target. They are remodeling the one on 108th street.
Vladimir Yakamura: You know how we were lauging about the "buy a new air conditioner, find a house" thing?
Princess Tofu: They do have a Giant farmers market in west allis. It 's south of greenfield.
Vladimir Yakamura: I know, I saw it yesterday
Princess Tofu: Schweet!
Princess Tofu: What about the air conditioner?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, my other thing is I've always said that as soon as I buy a house in West Allis or Bay View, I'd get a job downtown. I guess that means this week I'm getting a job offer.
Princess Tofu: Why down town?
Vladimir Yakamura: Because I no longer live 5 minutes away.
Princess Tofu: What?
Vladimir Yakamura: Nothing. Nevermind.
Princess Tofu: 5 minutes away from which job? The one you have now?
Vladimir Yakamura: Forget it. I'll explain in person sometime.
Princess Tofu: My head hurts now!
Vladimir Yakamura: Awesome. I'm going to go watch some bad tv now.
Princess Tofu: Wonderful! Enjoy!
Vladimir Yakamura: Thanks. Seeya.
Princess Tofu: Jai Jen!