Vlad: Hey Sweetpea
Ilsa: hey babydoll
Ilsa: what's new pussycat?
Vlad: Nothing. Got the inspection report and redid the offer
Ilsa: ah, did you already sent it off to the seller?
Vlad: Last night
Vlad: They must fix the electrical and the heating or it's no go
Ilsa: I'm sure they will because any other offer is going to come back the same
Vlad: Probably. I want them to fix it though, not try and discount me on the price.
Ilsa: Don't you have to leave work for a hair appointment right about now?
Vlad: I just got here
Vlad: I'm on call and got a call that woke me up last night. So I stayed in bed
Ilsa: was the call anything that you were really needed for or was it lame as usual?
Vlad: It was real, but guess who caused it by her complete lack of attention?
Ilsa: retardualon
Vlad: You would be wrong. Mommy.
Ilsa: that was my second guess
Vlad: stupid bitch
Ilsa: why don't you slap her?
Vlad: Man, I wish
Ilsa: let's make a voodoo doll
Vlad: too much work. let's burn her house down
Ilsa: hmmm, sounds fun
Vlad: I always enjoy a little pyromania
Ilsa: I can't do a lot of work right now because my printer's out of toner. I just ordered some more but it won't be here until tomorrow. So I'm just reviewing all of my files now.
Vlad: Review, review. I got the home inspection report emailed to me last night and I was going to print it out, but then I thought 'why waste my toner?' and did it this morning at work.
Ilsa: there you go
Vlad: Thanks. My business ethics course really stuck.
Ilsa: Dimitri really wants to meet you. Up until yesterday, he was under the impression that you were a tall blond Nordic guy
Vlad: Isn't that weird? That's what Pradeep always thought I looked like.
Ilsa: Seriously???
Vlad: Yes. Tall, stringy blonde hair. Like some stereotype geek from the movies
Ilsa: that is really weird. I don't know how either of them got that impression
Vlad: So, you two are still together, eh?
Ilsa: yes, and he wants me to meet his friends this weekend
Vlad: Remember, DO NOT make fake teeth out of an orange peel.
Ilsa: now you tell me, crap!!!!
Vlad: Oh no. Please tell me you didn't write a bunch of poems???
Ilsa: is that bad?
Vlad: Unless they're dirty limericks, yes.
Ilsa: man, next you're going to tell me that I shouldn't talk about my biological clock
Vlad: don't talk to me about biological clocks. I'm totally in the reproductive phase
Ilsa: Are my breasts too small? Should I be dumber?
Vlad: Yes to both.
Ilsa: Well I know choice but to go psycho bitch on your ass now
Ilsa: have no choice
Vlad: Go on, confront me. then cry.
Ilsa: no, I'm going to vent to the camera guy
Vlad: Come and take me out to lunch
Ilsa: now I can't, I am broke this week and will be next week as well
Vlad: Darn you.
Vlad: I will be broke for a long, long time probably
Ilsa: ain't it swell?
Vlad: I wrote a $500 check and then a $300 check.
Ilsa: been there my friend. My bar dues, mortgage, student loan, and liability ins premium are all due now
Vlad: bleah
Vlad: I don't even want to think about insurance
Ilsa: home owner's ins is cheap
Vlad: I guess. I'm totally going to get a second job. I want to pay off my car quicker
Ilsa: I know, Target
Vlad: Hell yeah. I guess there's one opening up near my new home in August.
Ilsa: awesome
Vlad: Or re-opening
Ilsa: oh???
Vlad: I guess it was one they demolished and rebuilt or something
Ilsa: the one on hwy 100? They're making it into a 2 story one
Vlad: Ohhh, baby
Vlad: two stories of bargains
Ilsa: yeah. fun and they have these conveyors that pull your cart up to the 2nd floor
Vlad: I might go to the opening and cry
Ilsa: it is quite overwhelming
Vlad: I don't know where Mike is. I was going to see what the lunch plans were
Ilsa: bastard. Tell him to take us both out to lunch or I won't tell him what I hid in his house
Vlad: I don't know where he is
Ilsa: he left
Vlad: I need to find the most disgusting, nastiest generic cookies I can to bring in tomorrow for Asha's birthday.
Ilsa: Go to Wal-Mart
Vlad: No way. Not even for a joke.
Ilsa: well I'm sure they'd have disgusting cookies
Vlad: Yes, but I don't want cooties
Ilsa: wear a hazmat suit
Vlad: heh
Ilsa: okay, I have to do some work now. I'll talk to you later. Good luck on your lunch quest
Vlad: Hang on
Vlad: We're leaving to go to Hector's right now!
Ilsa: cool
Vlad: Show up if you want...
Ilsa: thanks but I am seriously broke now
Vlad: I'll cover you
Ilsa: seriously?
Vlad: sure, i'm easy
Ilsa: cool. I'll call you on your cell?
Vlad: ok
Vlad: we're leaving now
Vlad: bye