Mr Yakamura: Yesterday was Lesbo night at the laundromat
Funkiller: Really? Which laundromat?
Mr Yakamura: Mine
Mr Yakamura: the one I go to all the time
Funkiller: The one on brady street?
Mr Yakamura: Yes
Funkiller: No shit!
Mr Yakamura: I don't mean officially, I just mean lots of the womyn were there.
Funkiller: The sistahs washing their flannel thongs.
Mr Yakamura: I tried not to look. I was usually distracted by the inapropriate wife beaters they were wearing sans bras.
Funkiller: Yippee! Nipplefest.
Mr Yakamura: vomit fest
Funkiller: Your just mad because you weren't wearing your silky wifebeater and panties.
Mr Yakamura: how do you know I wasn't?
Mr Yakamura: Dear Crate & Barrel, sell your goddam dishes in sets, you assholes.
Funkiller: Good question.
Funkiller: They do. In sets of one.
Mr Yakamura: That, by definition, is not a set
Funkiller: according to them it is.
Mr Yakamura: I'm thinking of doing my new house Asian. Stark white with black and lacquer red accents.
Funkiller: I thought maybe you would do it in Spongebob Nautical.
Mr Yakamura: Umm, no
Mr Yakamura: that's for the boudoir
Funkiller: Weeeeeeeeee!
Mr Yakamura: Or the powder room
Funkiller: Weee Weee!
Mr Yakamura: I probably will have to buy a new shower curtain.
Funkiller: I would imagine so.
Mr Yakamura: I'll buy something carribean to go with my towels
Mr Yakamura: I might even buy a new bathmat as the one I own is saturated with kitty hair
Funkiller: There is a happy image.
Funkiller: Better hair than piss.
Mr Yakamura: True. Someone barfed up a hair ball yesterday
Funkiller: You have all the luck.
Mr Yakamura: I saved it for you
Funkiller: Yeah! I'll make an ornament for christmas.
Mr Yakamura: That would be awesome
Mr Yakamura: I'll never have a Christmas tree again.
Funkiller: Why?
Mr Yakamura: Are you volunteering to stand guard 24 hours a day to keep the cats out of it?
Funkiller: That's half the fun. Nothing like tinsel in the litter box.
Funkiller: Or trailing out of someone's hind quarters.
Mr Yakamura: I'm more worried about the tree falling over constantly and all of the ornaments breaking
Mr Yakamura: I don't use tinsel, anyway.
Funkiller: You call ME the funkiller.
Mr Yakamura: That was a title bestowed upon you by the many villagers whose hopes you dashed
Funkiller: We all have a calling in life. That one is mine.
Mr Yakamura: I am Guido, the Perpetually Confused
Funkiller: confused by what?
Mr Yakamura: Everything and everybody
Mr Yakamura: What's a standard dinner service? 4, 6 or 8?
Funkiller: eight
Mr Yakamura: Just individual plates and bowls comes to $71.20 of these dishes I like
Mr Yakamura: fucking crate & barrel
Funkiller: what's the deal about the dishes? what's so special about them?
Mr Yakamura: green crackle finish
Mr Yakamura: They are wicked cool
Funkiller: oooh! me likey.
Mr Yakamura: But I'm not paying that much
Mr Yakamura: heh, I can't belive it's on again. You better work, bitch!
Funkiller: well you will have to steal them then.
Mr Yakamura: way ahead of you
Mr Yakamura: meet me at C&B at noon. You create a diversion and slip the dishes in my briefcase
Funkiller: where is it at?
Mr Yakamura: Hwy 100
Funkiller: where?
Mr Yakamura: I don't know
Mr Yakamura: It's a big building with Crate & Barrel written on it
Mr Yakamura: but that's not important now
Mr Yakamura: and don't call me Shirley
Funkiller: nice.
Mr Yakamura: Thanks, I am the Supermodel of the world
Funkiller: gracious.
Mr Yakamura: I'm going to get a fruit salad for lunch
Funkiller: tasty.
Mr Yakamura: and healthy
Funkiller: yes.
Mr Yakamura: I heard a funny descriptor for 'gay' yesterday.
Funkiller: yes?
Mr Yakamura: Partly queer with an 80 percent chance of fag. I thought of Don.
Funkiller: truth in advertising.
Funkiller: i thought don was " really gay"?
Mr Yakamura: Excuse me - Out and VERY gay, thank you very much, missy
Funkiller: i stand corrected.
Mr Yakamura: I totally want a bowl sink for the bathroom
Funkiller: theyb have awsome ones at lowes
Mr Yakamura: Great, I'll put you down for one bowl sink
Funkiller: great. i'll put it on layaway for year.
Mr Yakamura: I thought there was a handyman service made up of old, retired guys?
Funkiller: i have to get some sleep, sweetness.
Mr Yakamura: so? go. who's stopping you?
Funkiller: bye