Princess Tofu: Hello sweetness!
Vladimir Yakamura: Don't start
Princess Tofu: What's your problem?
Vladimir Yakamura: Remember the appliances that were included with my new home?
Princess Tofu: Yes?
Vladimir Yakamura: The dryer died yesterday and the washing machine leaks enough water to make my basement look like the banks of the Nile during flood season.
Princess Tofu: Oh shit!
Vladimir Yakamura: Yep
Vladimir Yakamura: I got almost all my laundry done and the dryer died during the towels
Princess Tofu: Figures!
Princess Tofu: Well I guess we know where this is going!
Princess Tofu: Hey the laundry mat is right across the street.
Vladimir Yakamura: I know
Princess Tofu: It could be worse you know. Idon't know how but,...........
Vladimir Yakamura: Heh. Bitch
Princess Tofu: You can volunteer for Mexican fiesta. I do have something going on for saturday.
Vladimir Yakamura: I already made plans.
Princess Tofu: Good Bitch!
Vladimir Yakamura: My $50 lawn mowing looks good, but everyone I talk to says that it shouldn't have cost that much.
Princess Tofu: Nice. Illegal immigrants took you for a ride.
Vladimir Yakamura: a big ride
Princess Tofu: They can smell first time homeowners from a mile a way.
Vladimir Yakamura: "Can I mow your lawn, Señor?"
Princess Tofu: Did you call Nelson and thank him?
Vladimir Yakamura: Not yet
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm sending dead roses
Princess Tofu: My sentiments exactly
Princess Tofu: Whats the news on the tenant front? Is he gone?
Vladimir Yakamura: Nope
Vladimir Yakamura: I guess he'll be out by the first
Princess Tofu: Fucker!
Vladimir Yakamura: And then I'll have the bathroom done and the carpet replaced
Vladimir Yakamura: hehe, but I called WE Energies and had the upstairs bill put in his name.
Princess Tofu: Schweet!
Princess Tofu: He'll have to pay that before he can start service in his new place.!
Vladimir Yakamura: I know. Curse him and his incontinent cat.
Princess Tofu: Weeeeeeeeeeee!
Princess Tofu: It is really fun to be evil!
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't think it's evil to make him pay for his energy usage
Princess Tofu: No, But I bet he wasn't going to be expecting that! HE HE!
Vladimir Yakamura: Good. It's the surprise that keeps on giving
Princess Tofu: I thought that was the syph!?
Vladimir Yakamura: If you're unclean and you know it, clap your hands
Princess Tofu: Yeah!!!
Princess Tofu: So what does you yard look like now that you have leveled the pampas?
Vladimir Yakamura: Actually, really nice
Vladimir Yakamura: he used a mulching mower so all that weird crap was shredded into a nice green covering that actually looks like grass to the untrained eye.
Princess Tofu: When is the guy coming for the tons of crap?
Vladimir Yakamura: Not until Matt moves out. As soon as he's gone and I know none of the stuff is his, the rest of it goes.
Princess Tofu: Turn off his power. I bet he moves faster.
Vladimir Yakamura: That's up to the power company
Princess Tofu: Not if you offer a little cash.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'd like to toss that little furry pissing machine into traffic
Princess Tofu: Where was that fucking thing when we were up there?
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't care. The litterbox was already gone, so maybe it's lowering property values in someone else's building.
Princess Tofu: That or he ate it.
Vladimir Yakamura: ha!
Princess Tofu: So i take it you are going to suffer with the laudry mat for right now.
Vladimir Yakamura: Unless you're running over with a new dryer...
Princess Tofu: HA!
Vladimir Yakamura: Damn you
Princess Tofu: Hey you have wash poles out back.
Princess Tofu: String them up!
Vladimir Yakamura: I should string you up
Princess Tofu: Bitter little bitch!
Vladimir Yakamura: Whatever, it's been a bad two weeks, ok? You're lucky if I don't develop a dependency on pills and go on a killing spree.
Princess Tofu: Now you are making me feel better!
Vladimir Yakamura: I should take up drinking
Princess Tofu: Lots and Lots!
Vladimir Yakamura: I have to get some sparkling water
Princess Tofu: Pussy! What about scotch and sparkling water?
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't have any scotch at work. I'm not your father.
Princess Tofu: Fuck you! He's a tequila man!
Vladimir Yakamura: Ariba!
Princess Tofu: Ole!
Vladimir Yakamura: Did you know that if you call and leave me a voicemail message at home, that I get an email with a sound recording of the message?
Princess Tofu: Shut up!
Vladimir Yakamura: I will not! It's true.
Princess Tofu: Now I need to try that out!
Vladimir Yakamura: It's like I'm living in the future. Like the Jetsons
Princess Tofu: Yeah? Where's your flying car and robomaid?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, if you had only purchased the Roomba as a gift like I'd asked, I'd be halfway there.
Princess Tofu: What a shame. I feel just awful about that.
Vladimir Yakamura: I can feel the lies streaming through my screen.
Princess Tofu: You are just paranoid!
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh please, the insincerity is palpable
Princess Tofu: I'm crying as we type right now.
Vladimir Yakamura: I am too, but I think it's a combo of allergies and too much cologne this morning
Princess Tofu: Who is the french hussy today?
Vladimir Yakamura: Your mother, just like every other day
Princess Tofu: Seriously Ass!
Princess Tofu: Is it Ruth from the baby plantation?
Vladimir Yakamura: No, your mother
Princess Tofu: Is it old lady perfume? That's the worst. It never goes away.
Vladimir Yakamura: I meant me. I'm wearing too much cologne, ok!
Vladimir Yakamura: Me. Me. Me. Me.
Princess Tofu: So you are the hussy!
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, not too much, actually, it's just some that I don't normally wear and it's kind of grating on me. I think I'll throw the rest of it away when I get home.
Princess Tofu: There is a fine idea. Is it Old Spice?
Princess Tofu: I know you have a thing for the men of the sea!
Vladimir Yakamura: It's called Green
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't remember who it's by
Vladimir Yakamura: I think Hugo Boss
Princess Tofu: Lovely. Why don't they just call it "Smell" or "Stink"?
Vladimir Yakamura: It's not that awful, I'm just not used to it
Princess Tofu: I wear hugo boss women and really like it.
Vladimir Yakamura: What an ironic sentence
Princess Tofu: It what sense darling?
Vladimir Yakamura: Like a black fly in your chardonnay
Princess Tofu: That's not ironic. I don't care what That Canuck Bitch says.
Vladimir Yakamura: great, now I have that fucking song in my head
Princess Tofu: Hey, You started it.
Vladimir Yakamura: and I'll finish it!
Princess Tofu: Says you!
Vladimir Yakamura: Wow, it's like the witty banter of a Tracy/Hepburn flick. Or maybe more like Rosilind Russel and Cary Grant in "His Girl Friday"
Princess Tofu: I don't think I want to talk to you anymore. You are sarcastic>
Vladimir Yakamura: Thanks, I try. I really do.
Princess Tofu: Whatever!
Vladimir Yakamura: ehh, so's your uncle
Princess Tofu: Fine. I'm going to take a nap.
Vladimir Yakamura: enjoy
Princess Tofu: Muchas Gracias! Adios!
Vladimir Yakamura: seig heil
Princess Tofu: Lovely!
Vladimir Yakamura: bye
Princess Tofu: bye