Vladimir Yakamura: well, well, look what Cerberus dragged in
Princess Tofu: Hardy har har!
Princess Tofu: How's it going?
Vladimir Yakamura: tiring
Vladimir Yakamura: furniture is coming today. Which means I'm trying to clear out the living room so it has somewhere to go
Princess Tofu: Well it should look better with a little furniture covering up that carpet. did you get asha out of the heating duct?
Vladimir Yakamura: she came out on her own, thank goodness. I was not looking forward to making a call to some heating company and paying for someone to open up the duct work.
Princess Tofu: Bullshit! That's what hammers are for!
Vladimir Yakamura: speaking of paying, I didn't get the rent until the 10th. And then he gave me notice.
Princess Tofu: Shut up!
Vladimir Yakamura: It gets better...
Vladimir Yakamura: I got an estimate to fix his bathtub. Guess how much?
Princess Tofu: 1000.00
Vladimir Yakamura: on the dot
Princess Tofu: God I'm good.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm glad one of us got some pleasure out of that number. It makes me want to cry
Princess Tofu: so I take it your new terms were not to his agreement?
Vladimir Yakamura: We never had a discussion. I asked where the hell his rent was and he told me he got a new job and was moving to Racine and would be out on the 1st.
Princess Tofu: Lucky you! Son of a bitch. I hope his job falls through!
Vladimir Yakamura: I hope he gets a job with included dental
Princess Tofu: y?
Vladimir Yakamura: His teeth are very British
Princess Tofu: Ooohhhh! And not in a regal sense I take it.
Princess Tofu: If he was looking to flee when he found out the other guy was moving, why the fuck didn't he tell you? Asshole.
Vladimir Yakamura: I know. I would have made fixing the bathtub part of the offer. And frankly, should have anyway.
Princess Tofu: Yeah! Well a little too late for that now.
Princess Tofu: how the hell are you going to swing this?
Vladimir Yakamura: Thanks, voice of the obvious.
Vladimir Yakamura: Swing what? The suicide?
Vladimir Yakamura: I figure pills is best
Princess Tofu: I can help you with that.
Vladimir Yakamura: No thanks
Princess Tofu: Straight razor in the tub with warm water. You won't even notice it.
Vladimir Yakamura: I probably would. I have a guy coming today to look at the bathtub and give me the bad news in person.
Vladimir Yakamura: Everyone is recommending one of those 'shells' that covers the old tub.
Princess Tofu: Unless of course you do it in his tub, which would mean dying of lead poisoning first.
Princess Tofu: It will basically serve the purpose and be a lot cheaper.
Vladimir Yakamura: No, that's the $1000 solution
Princess Tofu: Is it lined with Waterford crystal?
Vladimir Yakamura: I think it comes with sex. For that much money, there better be something else besides tub included.
Princess Tofu: I would hope so!
Vladimir Yakamura: Why don't I know any plumber lesbians with a big truck?
Princess Tofu: Why don't we all?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, I need some for practical reasons
Princess Tofu: Me too!
Princess Tofu: did you check at HOBO?
Vladimir Yakamura: for lesbians?
Princess Tofu: No, you ass. Tubs.
Princess Tofu: If you can find a tub and just have someone install, it may be cheaper.
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, but everyone who would install it won't deliver it. that's why I need the lesbos and their truck
Princess Tofu: Or just buy some really big bath decals and just cover it up.
Vladimir Yakamura: You know...THAT is a GREAT idea!
Vladimir Yakamura: It's just crazy enough to work!
Princess Tofu: And by the way, not all lesbos have trucks.(eventhough i did have 2)
Vladimir Yakamura: I never said all followers of sappho had trucks, just that I needed some that did
Princess Tofu: I could make some lovely designs with nail polish.
Vladimir Yakamura: Hey are you coming on Saturday>
Princess Tofu: I was planning on it. Are you telling me I shouldn't, or be careful looking for the body.
Princess Tofu: I thought I would buy a papa murphy's pizza and we could make it in your oven.
Vladimir Yakamura: That's cool. If we can find the oven.
Vladimir Yakamura: There are currently 5 boxes stacked in front of it
Princess Tofu: A minor detail for sure.
Vladimir Yakamura: If you want to come early and help me play "where can all this shit go?" I would appreciate it. I need to make some tough decisions.
Princess Tofu: Love to. I help you with what I can. The rest will just burn.
Vladimir Yakamura: I have to figure out what to do about the cats' box
Princess Tofu: Why? Aren't you putting them in the basement.
Vladimir Yakamura: I need the cat door installed then. Plus, the guy upstairs still has crap down there and will be coming in and out until he moves.
Vladimir Yakamura: right now, it's stuck in the pantry because there's no where else for it.
Princess Tofu: So all that crap down there is his?
Vladimir Yakamura: Not all, but most. Including the vacuum cleaner, dammit
Princess Tofu: Vaccum cleaner? What vacuum cleaner? Just tell him there wasn't one there.
Vladimir Yakamura: he saw it already
Vladimir Yakamura: may have taken it, too
Princess Tofu: Why the hell didn't he use it upstairs where he should have?
Vladimir Yakamura: I have to find an industrial cleaning service to haul away all the junk including the paint cans, wood, cinder blocks, etc.
Vladimir Yakamura: he says the old owner borrowed it from him to clean when he was moving out
Princess Tofu: Bullshit?
Princess Tofu: And he didn't miss it until now?
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't think so. It wasn't down there until Bill moved out and threw all his crap down there instead of outside.
Princess Tofu: Delicious!
Vladimir Yakamura: His garbage is still all over my lawn. Which has yet to be mowed, by the way. It's like the african veldt out back.
Princess Tofu: When it gets waist high, start looking out for lions.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm hiring some hispanic guy. I have to call him today. He'll be doing it on the weekends.
Princess Tofu: Get a goat!
Vladimir Yakamura: I hope he'll do something about the bushes in front.
Princess Tofu: How about kill them?
Vladimir Yakamura: I can dig it
Princess Tofu: I could do it. I'm handy with the Roundup.
Vladimir Yakamura: get your weed whacker
Princess Tofu: I don't own one! Thank you!
Vladimir Yakamura: no one ever has anything I need
Princess Tofu: Sorry! Mister touchy!
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm going to have to find a tenant
Princess Tofu: Like now!
Vladimir Yakamura: Can't show it until the bathtub is taken care of
Princess Tofu: First you have to see what it looks like up there when he moves out his shit.
Vladimir Yakamura: Want to help me clean some carpets?
Princess Tofu: Whose? Yours?
Vladimir Yakamura: No, his
Vladimir Yakamura: Not that mine aren't crying for it, too
Princess Tofu: Fuck that! he probably has the cooties.
Vladimir Yakamura: the snaggletooth cooties
Princess Tofu: The toothless cooties.
Vladimir Yakamura: He's got teeth. Just bad ones
Princess Tofu: I bet he gnawed on the tub to keep his teeth sharp like a hamster.
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't care if he gnawed on it, I just wish he'd have fixed it when it started to go bad
Princess Tofu: He could have paid for it with the money he didn't spend on electricity.
Vladimir Yakamura: Ha!
Princess Tofu: He's probably going to leave every light on till he leaves.
Vladimir Yakamura: Bastard!
Vladimir Yakamura: Ashley's here!
Princess Tofu: You are at home waiting for the delivery!
Princess Tofu: I'll let you go. Tah tah Sweetie.
Vladimir Yakamura: No, it's cool
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm just chilling watching them bring it in. and my chickenshit cats are freaked out
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, sweet mother of god. These side tables are HUGE
Princess Tofu: Your kidding me? Didn't you look at them when you bought them?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, but they looked so teeny in the store
Princess Tofu: Great! So you will have to squeeze in between the furniture to get into the kitchen.
Princess Tofu: Or never hit the floor between the door and the kitchen.