Vladimir Yakamura: So, you heard about Mel Gibson and the anti-semitic rant he went on when pulled over for his latest DUI?
Princess Tofu: i looked it up on tmz.com to read the arrest report. What a cock.
Vladimir Yakamura: And how do you go to anti-semitism when pulled over by cops?
Vladimir Yakamura: I could see being racist if the cop was black and you were white or vice versa. Then maybe a little druken trash-talk might make sense. But anti-semitism?
Princess Tofu: His statement was, and I quote" fucking jews! Fucking jews start all the wars all over the world. Are you a jew?"
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm totally going to start using that as my argument for everything. "How come this work isn't finished?" "Fucking Jews! That's why. Are you a Jew?"
Vladimir Yakamura: Or maybe I'll start blaming the Filipinos or Polynesians.
Princess Tofu: That's now my answer to everything too. Why aren't you coming into work today? Fucking jews!
Vladimir Yakamura: He is such an asshole
Princess Tofu: My favorite part about him is the fact that he belongs to an ultra ultra Catholic group that doesn't believe in the vatican, and believes the current pope is an antipope. Oh, and the holocaust never happened.
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, that's true. I heard it was filmed on a soundstage in Russia
Princess Tofu: Yet another reason not to be catholic anymore. I'd hate to think my heaven would be littered with nutjobs like him.
Vladimir Yakamura: I know! What a depressing thought.
Vladimir Yakamura: I need to order trash containers for my garbage pick up at the new place.
Princess Tofu: That's just absolutely insane. His father is a bigger nut. There is a whole nutty subculture that goes along with this. His father hutton writes a newsletter called "The war is now".
Vladimir Yakamura: really?
Vladimir Yakamura: i wonder if it's online
Princess Tofu: Oh hell yeah! i came across this stuff when they had some nutty priest on coast to coast. He believes that everyone who isn't catholic is going to hell and that the pope is the devil. It gets really creepy. You think scientology is nutty. This shit is just frightening.
Vladimir Yakamura: Why is the Pope bad. I mean, I know why he's bad to me, but why don't they like him?
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, and you were outbid. Sorry.
Princess Tofu: Because he is not a legitimate pope according to them. There is a whole shitload of these groups that are fighting among themselves basically damning each other. The site is called mostholymonastery.com. What a wackjob.
Princess Tofu: How much did it go for?
Vladimir Yakamura: It's not over yet, but you've been outbid.
Princess Tofu: by how much?
Vladimir Yakamura: I still have almost 8 hours left
Vladimir Yakamura: 11 bucks
Princess Tofu: bastards
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm hoping for a flurry of activity last minute. There are 11 people who are 'watching' the item
Princess Tofu: Schweet!
Vladimir Yakamura: And I know what you're getting for Xmas!
Princess Tofu: what?
Vladimir Yakamura: An electric can opener
Princess Tofu: The new kind that peels the lid off, or an old piece of shit?
Vladimir Yakamura: Uh, probably a piece of shit. I'll be re-gifting
Princess Tofu: Nevermind.
Princess Tofu: Homemade gifts mean more.
Princess Tofu: Like an ottoman.
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought gifts I didn't have to pay for meant more?
Princess Tofu: With hand tooled leather.
Princess Tofu: You cheap bitch.
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't want to hear about you handling your tools
Princess Tofu: Go to your mom's house and grab something while they are gone.
Vladimir Yakamura: They don't have anything I want
Vladimir Yakamura: I got this can opener as a house warming gift from my mortgage company
Princess Tofu: Shut up! How incredibly practical.
Vladimir Yakamura: And weird
Princess Tofu: At least it wasn't a plunger with their name on it.
Princess Tofu: Or hot pads.
Vladimir Yakamura: That would have been awesome
Vladimir Yakamura: the plunger one
Vladimir Yakamura: I should make people hot pads for the holidays
Princess Tofu: and ironic.
Princess Tofu: maybe i'll get you a bedazzler for your birthday so you can decorate them.
Vladimir Yakamura: It's called the GeMagic, bitch!
Princess Tofu: Whatever.
Princess Tofu: It's still crap from tv.
Vladimir Yakamura: Hey - Kathy Mitchell takes the time to come into your living room to hawk that cheap piece of shit day after day with no thanks. So the least you can do is get the name right.
Princess Tofu: She also does one for a wicked nockoff of the George Forman grill.
Vladimir Yakamura: haven't seen it
Vladimir Yakamura: Um, by the way, http://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/ is really scary
Princess Tofu: It's just spectacular if you like half moon shaped food. And yes it is really scary shit isn't it. You can find a whole lot of them if you look up Hutton Gibson.
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, the SnakExpress. I've seen that
Vladimir Yakamura: I love half-moon shaped food
Princess Tofu: Who doesn't?
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll tell you who. The damn Jews.
Princess Tofu: Fucking jews! Mel was right!
Vladimir Yakamura: Hold on to your crotchless panties...https://www.gemagictv.com/templates/allstar/gemagic/33//showpop.html
Princess Tofu: Patterns i assume?
Vladimir Yakamura: No, they are looking for GeMagic users to be in the next "show" as they call it
Princess Tofu: Sign me up!!!!
Princess Tofu: I want to do a studded bra.
Vladimir Yakamura: You have to own a GeMagic and bring examples, I'm sure
Princess Tofu: Sweet! Lets invest together.
Vladimir Yakamura: 2 payments of 19.99 plus 7.95 sh
Princess Tofu: I think we can swingit. But, we will want to get extra studs.
Princess Tofu: Lots and lots.
Vladimir Yakamura: Heh, I was just looking at those. Do you want silver-colored or gold-colored?
Princess Tofu: Silver! I want to develope a whole line of "Bitch" wear.
Vladimir Yakamura: silver-colored
Princess Tofu: Yup!
Vladimir Yakamura: Ain't no real silver here
Princess Tofu: colored!
Vladimir Yakamura: I bet they rust
Princess Tofu: I bet they are put together by some starving orphans in Bangladesh.
Princess Tofu: Ala Kathy Lee
Vladimir Yakamura: I bet they have malaria germs on them
Princess Tofu: Or Dengue Fever.
Vladimir Yakamura: or Cancer!
Princess Tofu: Or some other Horrible incurible illness. little bags of germs.
Vladimir Yakamura: studs of germs. That sparkle and won't come out in the wash
Princess Tofu: I wonder if it's ever been tested on animals? I would love to see PETA tear into them.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'd love to see Peta thrown into a bear pit
Princess Tofu: That's cruel to bears. They shouldn't be forced to eat that.
Vladimir Yakamura: Not eat them. Just maul them.
Princess Tofu: If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them yummy.
Vladimir Yakamura: Same with children
Princess Tofu: Here! Here! I'll drink to that!
Vladimir Yakamura: Drink BLOOD?!
Princess Tofu: With a little vermouth.
Vladimir Yakamura: just a whisper, I hope
Princess Tofu: And a pickled onion.
Vladimir Yakamura: I prefer olives
Vladimir Yakamura: and the juice. Make it 'dirty'
Princess Tofu: I love it 'dirty'.
Vladimir Yakamura: who doesn't?
Princess Tofu: The JEWS, that's who!
Vladimir Yakamura: Amen to that
Princess Tofu: Mel gibson says that he thinks this arrest may hurt his career.
Princess Tofu: Not any of the comments about the Jews mind you. Just the arrest for DUI.
Vladimir Yakamura: Somehow I doubt his crazy fans give a damn
Princess Tofu: That's really scary.
Vladimir Yakamura: I guess he's worried MADD moms won't go to his movies
Princess Tofu: You what would be the cherry on the cake? if he came out as a gay crossdresser!
Vladimir Yakamura: that's disturbing
Princess Tofu: With a drinking problem, and blamed it on his nutty mom and dad and the holocaust and the jews.
Princess Tofu: I'm hoping he grabs some airtime to appologize like michael jackson.
Vladimir Yakamura: I think blaming the Jews is a huge untapped source of excuses
Princess Tofu: And ends it with blaming the jews for everything including global warming.
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought that was becuase of the chinks?
Princess Tofu: They are probably also jews.
Vladimir Yakamura: disguised as asians?
Princess Tofu: Maybe. I smell a conspiracy.
Vladimir Yakamura: Is it Kosher?
Princess Tofu: Mazel tov! Of course.
Vladimir Yakamura: So, what's on tap for today?
Princess Tofu: A nap. Followed by some serious sleeping, followed by a short rest.
Vladimir Yakamura: lazy bitch. What are you , a Jew?
Princess Tofu: How did you guess?
Vladimir Yakamura: the way you money-grub and stuff
Princess Tofu: It's kosher. It's in the bible. Look it up.
Princess Tofu: Or at least I can bend it to fit.
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought the big J chased you people out of the temple for money changing?
Princess Tofu: That's cause he wasn't getting a cut of the action.
Princess Tofu: He was down with the peeps.
Vladimir Yakamura: You're so hip
Princess Tofu: Whatever.
Vladimir Yakamura: what?
Princess Tofu: I have to sleep now. half of me is asleep already.
Princess Tofu: My brain at least.
Vladimir Yakamura: I can't hear you over the jingling of my house keys.
Princess Tofu: Fuck you.
Princess Tofu: Did you sign the papers already?
Vladimir Yakamura: Uh, yeah. I've been a homeowner since like 8:30.
Princess Tofu: Sorry. I didn't get the dispatch.
Vladimir Yakamura: I told you I was closing on the 1st.
Vladimir Yakamura: Today is the 1st. Put it together.
Princess Tofu: Yeah but you didn't say what time prick.
Vladimir Yakamura: I believe I did. Several times, Jewess
Princess Tofu: I forgot to set my atomic clock.
Vladimir Yakamura: atomic clocks set themselves.
Princess Tofu: Not this one. It runs on plutonium.
Vladimir Yakamura: I see
Princess Tofu: It's a bitch to get when you need more.
Princess Tofu: I'll have to start enriching my own.
Vladimir Yakamura: Cannot wait to see that
Princess Tofu: I'm going to use an easy bake oven i got from the iranians.
Vladimir Yakamura: Those crafty bastards.
Princess Tofu: Tasty treats and nuclear fuel. Who knew?!!!
Vladimir Yakamura: Probably our good friends, the Jews
Princess Tofu: That goes without saying.
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, go to bed
Princess Tofu: Thanks I think I will.
Princess Tofu: bye