Vladimir: If it isn't Miss Sunshine herself!
Princess Tofu: what is it now?
Vladimir: What is what?
Princess Tofu: idon't know what is what is what?
Vladimir: Are you high again?
Princess Tofu: according to mel gibson, his wife is going to hell because she is episcopalian.
Vladimir: Not because she fucks him?
Princess Tofu: How would you like to be married to that piece of work and bear his 7 children?
Vladimir: bearing the kids wouldn't be the issue. It's how she gets pregnant that makes me want to barf
Princess Tofu: I am sure it is done in the holiest way with eye averted.
Vladimir: Ugh, but there's still the Gibson junk to have to deal with
Princess Tofu: that's the shitty part.
Vladimir: So, did he really say that about his baby-mama?
Princess Tofu: It was a quote from an interview. He basically said, "she cannot be saved because she is not catholic".
Vladimir: What a national treasure!
Princess Tofu: God i love christians. They are so forgiving.
Vladimir: Who Would Jesus Hate?
Princess Tofu: Can't blame that one on the booze, can you Mel.
Princess Tofu: I'm thinking Jews.
Vladimir: He wouldn't have to say that kind of stuff if it wasn't for the Heebs
Princess Tofu: They are boring into his head as he sleeps and slip in unpure thoughts.
Vladimir: Duh! Hello! They control the MEDIA. They just send out subliminal messages through his tv.
Vladimir: Don't be naive.
Princess Tofu: They must also slip something into his liquor. Bastards.
Vladimir: Yes, it's called 'alcohol'
Princess Tofu: No. I think it's "roofies" which make him act like an absolute asshole.
Vladimir: I think that's natural Gibson shining through
Princess Tofu: I wonder how rehab is going? I 'd like to send a case of tequila to celebrate his sobriety.
Vladimir: How about a case of the Clap?
Vladimir: Surely you must have some to spare
Princess Tofu: And I will sign the card from the jewish antidefamation league.
Vladimir: heehee. I wanted to sign my boss up for the Arab Anti Discrimination league
Princess Tofu: why didn't you?
Vladimir: He seems the type to be all crazy. And I'd hate to make some poor soul take a phone call from him demanding to know where they got his name from.
Princess Tofu: Osama bin laden.
Vladimir: My boss is born again
Princess Tofu: What was he the first time?
Vladimir: I'm not sure. Maybe this time it will take.
Princess Tofu: You know, if you get it right the first time you don't have to do it twice.
Vladimir: And these are the same people who scoff at reincarnation
Princess Tofu: yeah! Even though the Big "j" seems to have done it.
Vladimir: If you're born again, does that mean you have to come out of your mother's birth canal again? That would hurt.
Princess Tofu: And would require lots of therapy.
Vladimir: I'm going to call the Mormons and get you on a mailing list. They'll send you one of those free bibles of theirs.
Princess Tofu: Already have one. I went to Kansas City 2 years ago. They are everywhere.
Vladimir: Hmm. I'll sign you up for a nun newsletter, then.
Vladimir: It's not too late to take your vows!
Princess Tofu: Neat!
Vladimir: I did that to a friend in high school. Her parents were thrilled when that arrived in the mail.
Princess Tofu: My mother would be really confused.
Vladimir: and/or excited
Vladimir: If you have a child that's a priest or nun, don't you automatically go to heaven?
Princess Tofu: Highly unlikely. But it would increase her chances of another grandchild.
Vladimir: I'm not following that
Princess Tofu: I stand a better chance getting lucky as a nun than just normal circumstances.
Vladimir: I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure there's no 'getting lucky' as a nun
Princess Tofu: Really? I'm pretty sure there is no getting lucky as a priest, but that doesn't seem to work.
Vladimir: Well, that's different. How do you not touch small boys?
Princess Tofu: They are just plowing the fields of the Lord.
Vladimir: Wow, what an awful pun and what a filthy, filthy thing to say.
Princess Tofu: Thank you. I wonder if Mel gibson had his fields tended to as a boy. He was and altarboy.
Vladimir: that might explain some things. Why not call a few media outlets and float that theory?
Princess Tofu: Put him on the SNAP mailing list.
Vladimir: I'll bite, what's SNAP?
Princess Tofu: Survivors network abused by priests(sic) Something along that line.
Vladimir: Ahhh
Vladimir: It's nice they have a club
Princess Tofu: I wonder if the go on gambling trips and have social outings?
Vladimir: I bet they don't go to church together.
Princess Tofu: Maybe they have little get togethers like "Tea with the Touched"?
Vladimir: Abused but not Amused?
Princess Tofu: Yes. Exactly!
Vladimir: Hey, it's Hump Day
Princess Tofu: No. I don't think they are home.
Vladimir: Hmm
Princess Tofu: At least I haven't heard them upstairs.
Vladimir: well, only two more days until the weekend!
Princess Tofu: Everybody's working for the weekend..........
Vladimir: Really? Loverboy?
Princess Tofu: Sure what the hell!
Vladimir: Why not just quote Ace of Base?
Princess Tofu: I saw the sign.
Vladimir: Did it open up your mind?
Princess Tofu: I saw the sign.
Vladimir: Ooh, I should have said Aqua
Princess Tofu: I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world.
Vladimir: I bet that's the only song you can quote from
Princess Tofu: Yes. but i bet you know more!
Vladimir: Oh hell yes. I have the album. And the Barbie Girl remix CD
Princess Tofu: Schweet!
Vladimir: or scary. whatever
Princess Tofu: You bought it. No one made you do it.(well, except for the Devil. Or maybe Mel Gibson.)
Vladimir: It had to be divine (or unholy) influence
Princess Tofu: Says you.
Vladimir: bite me
Princess Tofu: Whatever. isn't it getting close to your lunch time?
Vladimir: I guess
Vladimir: why?
Princess Tofu: Just making small talk, you paranoid ass.
Vladimir: thought you were inviting me out
Princess Tofu: It's not like i'm going to stalk you.
Princess Tofu: I have to sleep. I had less than 4 hours yesterday. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep.
Vladimir: Yeah, I've been having trouble sleeping as well.
Vladimir: I want the weather to cool down some more and the plants to stop with the pollinating already
Princess Tofu: My eyes have been watering and my nose running. It just sucks.
Vladimir: Well, go to sleep then
Princess Tofu: Bless you Sir. i shall.
Vladimir: ok. bye
Princess Tofu: bye