Vladimir Yakamura: Crikey! he's dead.
Princess Tofu: that's not very nice. it was an awful way to go.
Vladimir Yakamura: But let's be fair - unexpected?
Princess Tofu: Not really. I thought a croc would have got him a long time ago.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm totally surprised they're going to be burying him intact.
Princess Tofu: Where did you hear that? I just found out he was dead.
Vladimir Yakamura: I mean, after all these years, it's surprising he has all his extremities. He was stung by some kind of ray.
Princess Tofu: A stingray. The barb went right into his heart.
Vladimir Yakamura: Yikes!
Princess Tofu: Like I said. Nasty way to go.
Vladimir Yakamura: Stingray? or Croc's lunch?
Princess Tofu: Hard to choose, isn't it?
Vladimir Yakamura: oh yeah
Princess Tofu: The terrible thing is the stingrays actual sting is painful but not deadly.
Vladimir Yakamura: I guess it depends on where you get stung
Princess Tofu: I guess the heart would be a bad spot.
Princess Tofu: Or the penis.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm thinking anywhere would be bad
Princess Tofu: I bet it would really hurt if you got a stingray barb in the nads.
Vladimir Yakamura: If I had to get stung, I'd want it to be on your ass
Princess Tofu: Why my ass?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, I sure as hell don't want it to be mine
Princess Tofu: Lovely. I'll remember that when your birthday rolls around on the 26th.
Vladimir Yakamura: eh, whatever
Princess Tofu: What the hell are you doing home. I figured you be out and about.
Vladimir Yakamura: Nope, just chilling
Princess Tofu: Yo, that's phat.
Vladimir Yakamura: Um, ok
Princess Tofu: how's my kitties?
Vladimir Yakamura: timir is washing and asha is looking out the window at something
Princess Tofu: how nice.
Vladimir Yakamura: yes, it's like a Norman Rockwell painting
Princess Tofu: just with cats not nasty children
Vladimir Yakamura: kids are great. especially braised in dark beer and served with waffle fries
Princess Tofu: and a lovely ranch cheez sauce.
Vladimir Yakamura: everything is better with ranch/cheez sauce
Princess Tofu: don't i know it!
Princess Tofu: so what's up?
Vladimir Yakamura: getting ready for the big bbq
Princess Tofu: what bbq?
Vladimir Yakamura: It's labor day. the big labor day bbq
Princess Tofu: Really? this is the first i've heard of this occasion.
Princess Tofu: What's cooking?
Vladimir Yakamura: chicken, burgers, corn, hot dogs, brats
Princess Tofu: Really? Where?
Vladimir Yakamura: Here at Chez Mediocre
Princess Tofu: How many people are there?
Vladimir Yakamura: None yet
Vladimir Yakamura: But the whole gang is coming. Sam, Carl, Little Tim, Eva, Big Mary, the Connor twins, Lazy Jack
Princess Tofu: Who!?!
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm not even going to dignify that with a response
Princess Tofu: Are you actually having a big bbq or is it just you and the pussy twins?
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm not having anything. It's raining out
Princess Tofu: Oh. i,m sorry the 3 pussies!
Vladimir Yakamura: You're sorry alright. Bitch.
Princess Tofu: Fuck you jackass.
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, this is fun!
Princess Tofu: No one is stopping you from doing something else. You are not a prisoner. if my witty banter is not to your liking, I can go back to what i was doing.
Vladimir Yakamura: Biting the heads off of small rodents?
Princess Tofu: No. spying on the neighbors.
Vladimir Yakamura: How old-ladyish of you
Princess Tofu: Hey you damn kids! stay off the lawn.
Vladimir Yakamura: Go out in your tatty housedress and pick imaginary stuff off of your lawn
Princess Tofu: Don't forget the turban and fluffy slippers.
Vladimir Yakamura: No, that's more for the LA crowd. You're just going for crazy midwestern old woman
Princess Tofu: Oh. Butt hanging out of my face, nylons rolled down and catseye glasses.
Vladimir Yakamura: Sure
Vladimir Yakamura: the tatty robe is the key
Vladimir Yakamura: and the lipstick bleeding into the cracks on your lips
Princess Tofu: And the terry cloth slipons.
Vladimir Yakamura: there you go!
Princess Tofu: I feel pretty........
Vladimir Yakamura: and when you get invited to neighborhood potlucks, bring your special chili. With the bamboo shoots and water chestnuts in it.
Princess Tofu: how could i bring anything else. I want to bring something cooked with love.
Princess Tofu: And bacon fat.
Vladimir Yakamura: don't forget to use italian sausage. and a seasoning packet that you burn on the bottom of the pan!
Princess Tofu: You forgot he lowgrade ground beef that is 97% fat to add to the sausage.
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, I didn't foget. That's what's going to make it greasy.
Princess Tofu: Imagine when it cools, and you get that 4 inch layer crust of grease on the top you can cut off.
Vladimir Yakamura: you better save it! to add flavor to your other dishes
Princess Tofu: That goes without saying. How can you flavor your beans and smoked innards.
Vladimir Yakamura: i hope you mean canned grean beans
Princess Tofu: The very same.
Princess Tofu: Fresh or frozen are the devil's plaything.
Vladimir Yakamura: nothing like mushy side dishes for your next gathering
Princess Tofu: Well, depending on how many teeth are there, that may be alright.
Vladimir Yakamura: I never thought of that. Maybe it's cooking for the toothless
Princess Tofu: and senseless.
Vladimir Yakamura: and tasteless
Princess Tofu: amen.
Vladimir Yakamura: very nice
Princess Tofu: thanks. i do my best.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm going to get going now
Princess Tofu: really? and do what?
Vladimir Yakamura: A list too long to start listing
Princess Tofu: enjoy.
Vladimir Yakamura: you as well
Princess Tofu: thanks. bye