Vladimir Yakamura: word to your mother, yo
Ilsa Fujimoto: what up?
Vladimir Yakamura: Nothing. Researching automatic cat doors on the internet.
Ilsa Fujimoto: how can you maintain your sanity in such a pressurized environment?
Vladimir Yakamura: Deep breathing techniques
Vladimir Yakamura: What's going on down at legal central?
Ilsa Fujimoto: a lot of annoying clients today-well only one annoying one but she's like 5 because she's so annoying
Vladimir Yakamura: kick her in the teeth
Ilsa Fujimoto: I should but it looks like someone got the jump on that
Vladimir Yakamura: Oooh, damn!
Ilsa Fujimoto: yeah, in her face-literally
Vladimir Yakamura: I think you and Husain should start your own firm
Ilsa Fujimoto: the Jew and the terrorist?
Vladimir Yakamura: I know! A Jew and a Muslim sharing an office? It's like comedy gold!
Vladimir Yakamura: It's a sitcom that writes itself
Ilsa Fujimoto: ...... and hilarity ensues
Ilsa Fujimoto: haha, I said sue
Vladimir Yakamura: Just don't call me Shirley
Ilsa Fujimoto: too late
Vladimir Yakamura: dammit
Vladimir Yakamura: I brought some Healthy Choice Steamers for lunch
Ilsa Fujimoto: bleeeech
Vladimir Yakamura: Shut up, they rock!
Ilsa Fujimoto: they rock as hard as Petra
Vladimir Yakamura: The Margarita Chicken is D.E.V.I.N.E.
Vladimir Yakamura: Petra? I know you have their greatest hits collection and a tour tshirt
Ilsa Fujimoto: umm, you know waaaayyy too much about them
Vladimir Yakamura: I know they are a band because you keep talking about them
Vladimir Yakamura: Other than that, I couldn't tell you one true fact about them. Him? Her?
Ilsa Fujimoto: whatever, you totally confessed to owning one of their albums back in the day
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll confess to owning and liking many embarrassing things, "back in the day" but that ain't one of them.
Ilsa Fujimoto: oh, sorry, I meant last year
Vladimir Yakamura: Whatever, Elton John fan club member
Ilsa Fujimoto: yeah, no
Vladimir Yakamura: Whatever again, Ms Crush on George Michael even though there was clearly something odd about him even then
Ilsa Fujimoto: yeah, again not me, Def Leppard, okay, I admit that
Vladimir Yakamura: Listening to or crush on?
Ilsa Fujimoto: both, but only the bassist
Vladimir Yakamura: That's only because he had both of his arms
Vladimir Yakamura: I wasn't a major fan or anything but I did own whatever album that had 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' on it. Hysteria?
Ilsa Fujimoto: yes
Vladimir Yakamura: I liked Animal, Photograph, PSSOM
Vladimir Yakamura: Hysteria was ok
Ilsa Fujimoto: Fooiln, and High & Dry very good
Vladimir Yakamura: But I also owned the Poison album with "nothing but a good time" on it
Ilsa Fujimoto: so don't judge me
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, I'll judge all right
Ilsa Fujimoto: you really can't being a Poison owner and all
Vladimir Yakamura: It was one album and I only really bought it because Tipper Whore made such a big deal about the cover art.
Ilsa Fujimoto: really, there was no warning label on it. You should have bought WASP's Fuck Like Animal
Vladimir Yakamura: Ohhh, nice
Vladimir Yakamura: They ended up blacking out the Poison cover so nothing but eyes was showing
Ilsa Fujimoto: ahhh
Vladimir Yakamura: At least I don't own any embarrassing CDs now.
Ilsa Fujimoto: true
Vladimir Yakamura: Step away from the Britney Spears CD. Nothing to see here.
Vladimir Yakamura: Keep it moving, folks
Vladimir Yakamura: That is NOT a Romanian pop CD on that shelf.
Ilsa Fujimoto: ummmmm, yeah. Do you have that lame Russian girl group?
Vladimir Yakamura: T.A.T.U.?
Ilsa Fujimoto: yeah,
Vladimir Yakamura: God, no
Vladimir Yakamura: I hate that song
Ilsa Fujimoto: but that German vacation movie....
Vladimir Yakamura: C'mon, that was a classic
Vladimir Yakamura: I can see that becoming a midnight cult film
Ilsa Fujimoto: If by classic, you mean old and moldy, then yes
Vladimir Yakamura: Some of those songs were catchy
Vladimir Yakamura: i bet they'd rock if they were remixed
Ilsa Fujimoto: if by catchy, you mean they were suicide inducing, then yes again
Vladimir Yakamura: Why do you hate classic film so much?
Vladimir Yakamura: First Pat & Mike, now this...
Ilsa Fujimoto: for the love of god, when will this end? Oh, now
Vladimir Yakamura: Let's make our own movie
Ilsa Fujimoto: I already made several movies
Vladimir Yakamura: well, me too, but I mean movies that are not intended for a select audience such as consenting adults (void where prohibited, check your state's laws)
Ilsa Fujimoto: let's put on a show
Vladimir Yakamura: For the infirm. You know, so they can't get away.
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh wonderful. Remember all the fun I had with Retardulon during that last conversion several years ago?
Ilsa Fujimoto: yes
Ilsa Fujimoto: how is she still around
Vladimir Yakamura: Guess who was just assigned my work for the new conversion?
Vladimir Yakamura: And how is she still around? It's either the witchcraft or she has pictures of someone in bed with a farm animal.
Ilsa Fujimoto: how did they assign her to you? Random or intentional?
Vladimir Yakamura: Random, but it was mostly because she worked on the last one. You know, she's got the 'experience'
Ilsa Fujimoto: it just keeps getting better and better
Vladimir Yakamura: I know. It's like a fairy tale come to life
Vladimir Yakamura: A big, fat fairy tale, sitting on my chest and suffocating me
Ilsa Fujimoto: well, I gotta run, talk to you later, I may be a little late for ANTM but it looks like a delated scenes episode anyway
Ilsa Fujimoto: oh that's tomorrow, never mind
Vladimir Yakamura: see ya, honeylamb
Ilsa Fujimoto: biyeeeeeeeeeeee

Vlad: Hang up your boa, you will not be a part of Trampolicious
Ilsa: damnit, I've let down my family
Vlad: Yes, you have. Now put on your short shorts and your whore makeup and dance around that pole. But keep it classy, please!
Ilsa: How can I make it classy without my boa? It totally classes up the act now that my snake died
Vlad: Ohh, now I want to listen to I'm A Slave 4 U from Britney
Ilsa: that's totally my stage song
Vlad: It's the title of my autobiography
Vlad: and what the tattoo on my ass says
Ilsa: oh, is that what it says. I thought it said, "thank you sir, may I please have another"
Vlad: that's the other cheek
Ilsa: I thought that one simply said, "next"
Vlad: that's your ho-tag
Ilsa: I am classy, I don't have ass tattoos skank
Vlad: what a charming conversation this degenerated into
Ilsa: I think it pretty much started there
Vlad: i need a nap
Ilsa: I did yesterday but never got it
Vlad: got what?
Vlad: oh, nevermind
Vlad: How about Jiro as the name? It means second born son
Ilsa: how is it pronounced? Not like the greek sanwhich
Vlad: Or kenji. means the same thing
Vlad: I think Japanese uses a hard J
Ilsa: I like Kenji better
Vlad: me too
Vlad: Kenji is the top of the list for now
Ilsa: cool, that's a pretty good one
Vlad: I love Japanese name meanings "governs with discretion"
Ilsa: which one?
Vlad: Keiji
Ilsa: oh, I thought it meant second born son
Vlad: That's Kenji
Vlad: How about Rinji. Means peaceful forest
Ilsa: booooo
Vlad: Jomei - spread light
Vlad: Takeo - strong like bamboo
Vlad: Kenjiro - second son who sees with insight
Vlad: Tanjiro - high valued second son
Ilsa: that one's good
Vlad: I still think Kenji is going to win
Ilsa: yeah
Vlad: Awwww, Yoshi means "the best"
Ilsa: I love Yoshi!!!
Vlad: the only problem is that it's a unisex name
Ilsa: so, like you know a lot of Japanese people that will be confused
Vlad: I might meet some
Vlad: If it isn't Kenji, it will be Yoshi
Ilsa: cool, I do like Yoshi even better though-it's just so cute
Vlad: Ask Husain
Ilsa: they're Japanese
Vlad: so?
Vlad: he can't have an opinion? I just asked a Hindu
Ilsa: he's not here anyway
Vlad: so, you were just arguing for the sake of it? What a lawyer.
Ilsa: it's just fun, oh he just walked in. I'll ask him in a few
Vlad: Ask him now. This is more important that law
Vlad: this is about a kitten for god's sake.
Ilsa: he likes Yoshi slightly better
Vlad: Liar
Ilsa: UMMM, no. He said it flows better
Vlad: Well, ok. I'll put him in the Yoshi column
Vlad: I'm asking former colleagues now
Ilsa: what about Kobiashi?
Vlad: sounds like a sausage
Vlad: How about Kimchee?
Ilsa: bleeeech
Vlad: Shrimp chip?
Ilsa: excellent
Vlad: How about Wasabi?
Ilsa: I actually like that
Vlad: You can save that for your next kitten
Vlad: What's for lunch? I'm already starving
Ilsa: Don't know. Think I'm going to stop at a deli dept on my way to ct
Vlad: Mmm, deli sandwich
Vlad: I don't know why I'm so hungry all of a sudden. Maybe I'll go out somewhere
Ilsa: I'm think more like a chicken salad or something like that
Ilsa: did you have breakfast?
Vlad: Yes
Vlad: and a can of sparkling water
Ilsa: maybe you have my tapeworm
Vlad: that would be nice
Vlad: I want some cherry pie
Ilsa: sounds good, where can you get it nearby
Vlad: Baker's Square, actually
Ilsa: eh
Vlad: They got pie, beyotch!
Ilsa: really, you don't say
Vlad: I do say and with great conviction
Vlad: Well, Yoshi seems to be leading in the popular vote
Ilsa: yay
Vlad: Yes, but maybe I will pull a Hillary and try and convice the superdelagate (me) into switching his (my) votes (all 1200 of them) over to Kenji.
Ilsa: well, it is your cat and if you want to punish him, that's really your business
Vlad: I'm not naming him Laura for Allah's sake
Ilsa: that would have been a smart move on your part
Vlad: i should call him Allah
Ilsa: I think we discussed that you and for some reason you poo-poo'd it
Vlad: It's too close to Asha in sound
Ilsa: well, Yoshi is the fan favorite. America has spoken
Vlad: Screw America!
Vlad: Maybe I'll name him Condoleeza
Vlad: and then call him "leezie"
Ilsa: Condi
Vlad: doesn't that translate into "dumbass"?
Ilsa: I think it translates roughly from Algonquin to "head like a marshmellow"
Vlad: Awesome!
Vlad: I'll make my final ruling when I get home tonight
Vlad: Hey - did Butler win?
Ilsa: nooooo, people are stupid
Vlad: wow, but Coggs did win I heard
Ilsa: yes, apparently stupidity has limits
Vlad: thank goodness. What a complete debacle if he'd won from prison
Ilsa: fight the power!
Vlad: Oh my god, she's an attorney?
Ilsa: I don't know
Vlad: She is
Vlad: that's what the news article says. She sounds like such an idiot when she talks.
Ilsa: yes, unfortunately there are many morons that pass the bar somehow
Vlad: Geez, if she can do it, maybe I should take it.
Ilsa: yeah but you gotta go to law school first
Vlad: I'm sure I can fake a diploma
Ilsa: you'd think so
Vlad: let me scan yours and I'll doctor it up
Vlad: Or ask Husain if I can borrow his. I'm sure I can pass myself off as a "Husain". Walgreens believed I was Shailesh Tamhane when I filled a vicodin prescription.
Ilsa: well, I gotta run, I'll be home for ANDB
Vlad: ok
Ilsa: biyeeeeeeeeee