I don't want this to become a blog about my cat, because that would be sad. But as a new cat owner, I am having issues. Timir's right eye got all puffy and watery and started oozing pus. A trip to the vet revealed that he has some kind of eye infection. Three times a day I have to hold him down and pry his eyes open and put in this gel and then manually 'blink' his eyes to make the gel dissapate. Fun. For both of us. I feel so bad because his eyes are all swollen now and when he looks at me it looks like he's squinting.

We also found out he has roundworms. For the next five days I have to serve him soft food in which I have dissolved medicinal powder. I hope he eats it so I have a parasite-free cat.

I hate it when people refer to Chicago as "Chi-town". I'm not from there or anything, it just bugs me.

Over the weekend I contemplated driving up north to a winery to buy some wine. I needed some for a chicken soup recipe I wanted to make, but also to me, fall is 'wine season'. But then I remembered that most of my belongings are still packed away. This includes the non-essentials like my corkscrew and the vacuum sealer I use to help the wine last longer since I'm not a raging alcoholic who downs the whole bottle in one sitting. So now I don't want to buy a bunch of wine, but still want some to cook with. I go down to my local liquor depot and grab a bottle of dry white wine and ask at the counter for a corkscrew. I buy a cheap little plastic one that I figure should do me fine for this one bottle. And I'll just use the cork to seal it back up and either drink it all during the week or toss it.

That evening I go to open the bottle only to find that the cheap corkscrew is no match for the mighty cork that has been used to seal this bottle. I even tried wedging the thing in a doorway to get some good leverage, but the little corkscrew wasn't made for that kind of torture. I ended up getting out my toolbox and screwing a good-sized screw into the cork and then used a hammer to pry the screw (with cork attached) out of the bottle. Why yes, I AM amazing. Thanks.

I'm going down to the morgue to get some stranger's testicles. Anybody need anything while I'm there?

Our email system is down. It's 10am and I'm already bored. I've got my headphones on and am listening to Depeche Mode. You can now make real US Postage stamps using photos. I'm thinking of having some made of the cutest cat ever to use for my Christmas cards this year. I'm sure having such an adorable picture on the stamp will bring everyone who sees it great tidings of joy.

Yesterday I made origami bats for Halloween. I was passing them out so people have them hanging on their desks. I really think we should take days and make them 'arts and crafts' days. Then we can decorate our desks for the various holidays.

PS - Cutest cat ever! I mean, look at that picture. A little kitten asleep curled under his favorite Spongebob blanket. Awwww.

Seriously, the Nik/Jayla "fight" on ANTM was the most idiotic feud ever. You stole my fear! Well, I'm scared of a girl who can't think of some other thing to use as a fake secret to use while shooting a fake commercial on a fake television show to win a fake contest.

And I did watch Crossing Jordan last Sunday. Well, 10 mintues of it anyway. I watched until the grief counselor left the morgue and badgered an ADA to make the police release a murder witness. At least the writers knew enough to have the ADA throw her out of the office after learning that she wasn't A: An attorney. B: Any kind of legal and/or social worker. C: Anybody at all, just some interfering busybody from the frigging ME's office.

Lola and I want to write in and suggest an episode of the show where the morgue is burgled (including corpes) because the entire staff is out 'solving' crimes.

My cat (although the cutest in all the land) is costing me quite a bit. I went to the Pet Warehouse again today. This time it was to look at something called The Litterlocker. It's a small canister with a bag inside. you drop the waste material inside and then give it a turn and it locks the mess away. Then after a few weeks, you just pull out the sealed bag and toss it. Reminds me of those diaper genie things. He already has toy mice, sparkly balls, a cat dancer, a sparkly ball fishing pole, a doorknob hanging toy and something called the Cat Spa. I'm going to be poor if this keeps up.

They finally let the fat girl go on America's Next Top Model. Even though she was 'voluptuous' she looked 'sad' or some bullshit. I guess voluptuous is just another word for hit the bricks, fatass. I don't know why they continue to let the "plus size" girls into the competition. They're never gonna let them win. Plus size is a niche market anyway, so letting the girls go on the show just seems cruel.

Hey, I got a cat a few weeks ago. His name is Timir which is a Hindi word for 'dark' since he's black.

He is the cutest cat ever, despite what Lola may say or post. Here's a picture.

So Lola called and pointed out that I haven't written anything on here in a long time. She was supposed to join the team and post stuff, too, but hasn't gotten off her ass (figuratively speaking) and joined up. She promised she would this time so hopefully we'll be seeing some commentary from her.

We're both excited because we're in the middle of the new season of the best (worst) show on telelvision, America's Next Top Model. If you haven't seen it, you do not know what you are missing. You may think it's just a bunch of vapid, insipid morons hoping for their 15 minutes of fame. You'd be right, but it's so much more. This season alone you're missing hot(ish) lesbian action, sociopathic beauty queens and some of the fugliest girls ever to stomp down a catwalk.