Ilsa Fujimoto: hey, how are you?
Vladimir Yakamura: In mourning
Ilsa Fujimoto: For?
Vladimir Yakamura: Robert Goulet
Ilsa Fujimoto: Ah, couldn't open your email
Vladimir Yakamura: He's dead
Ilsa Fujimoto: yeah, I get that
Vladimir Yakamura: Dead, dead, dead
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm celebrating Halloween by listening to the Rocky Horror soundtrack
Ilsa Fujimoto: doing the Time Warp?
Vladimir Yakamura: in my head, yes
Vladimir Yakamura: I would like, if I may, to take you on strange journey...
Vladimir Yakamura: How was Saliva?
Ilsa Fujimoto: really good show
Ilsa Fujimoto: met Jesus
Vladimir Yakamura: I've heard their shows are nothing to spit at
Ilsa Fujimoto: true that, funny boy
Vladimir Yakamura: How is Jesus doing these days?
Ilsa Fujimoto: he's actually doing quite well
Vladimir Yakamura: Is this famous original Jesus, or Jesus 2, the second coming?
Ilsa Fujimoto: the famous one
Vladimir Yakamura: so, he's a Saliva fan? Who knew?
Ilsa Fujimoto: there's no way to know
Vladimir Yakamura: The bible is very short on details about music and fashion
Ilsa Fujimoto: if only we could get more guidance
Vladimir Yakamura: So, what's new today? Sacrifice any small animals, yet?
Ilsa Fujimoto: nope, had ct this a.m. went to Pick N Save and will have ct app p.m
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm going to the pet store and to Walgreens to take advantage of the Halloween sales
Ilsa Fujimoto: cool
Vladimir Yakamura: I really like late 70s/very early 80s Billy Joel.
Ilsa Fujimoto: not really a fan of any of his stuff
Ilsa Fujimoto: although the 70s stuff is nearly palatable
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm listening to Don't Ask Me Why
Vladimir Yakamura: If Uptown Girl comes on, I'm vomiting
Ilsa Fujimoto: me too'
Vladimir Yakamura: I changed my computer wallpaper to something Halloween-y
Ilsa Fujimoto: cool
Vladimir Yakamura: You don't care - stop pretending
Ilsa Fujimoto: I truly do
Vladimir Yakamura: What are you dressed up as?
Ilsa Fujimoto: dominatrix
Vladimir Yakamura: so, your regular work clothes?
Ilsa Fujimoto: yes
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm dressed as my favorite literary sleuth
Ilsa Fujimoto: Nancy Drew?
Vladimir Yakamura: Ilsa Fujimoto:Girl Attorney
Ilsa Fujimoto: hehe
Vladimir Yakamura: Actually, I'm dressed as someone with dry skin
Ilsa Fujimoto: that's good
Vladimir Yakamura: I should buy some cat ears at Walgreens
Ilsa Fujimoto: why don't you borrow them from that chick?
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't want to catch crazy
Ilsa Fujimoto: it might be fun
Vladimir Yakamura: you'd know, wouldn't you? I guess I'll run to Walgreens now. Have fun in court.

Ilsa Fujimoto: and Hillary loses her mind
Vladimir Yakamura: Laura, I'd like to beep beep beep rolled up magazine beep beep beep canola oil beep beep beep beep Dinah Shore.
Ilsa Fujimoto: Your dad would be so proud
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, he's a longshoreman with Tourette's as well.
Vladimir Yakamura: I think your web page should be www.hillaryloseshershit.com
Ilsa Fujimoto: I can't believe there isn't one already
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm tired. I'm bored. I'm hungry. I want chicken. I want cake. My hard drive won't work. I can't listen to music. I want to go home.
Ilsa Fujimoto: wow, that's a lot not going on
Ilsa Fujimoto: why don't you come down here & buy me lunch?
Vladimir Yakamura: Sure, I'll drive all the way down from the boonies just to buy your happy ass some lunch.
Vladimir Yakamura: Why don't I run home and make you something? We could have a picnic!
Ilsa Fujimoto: you're in the boonies?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, at our other location.
Ilsa Fujimoto: why?
Vladimir Yakamura: Don't get me started.
Ilsa Fujimoto: yikes! C'mon, you know you want to vent
Vladimir Yakamura: It's a stupid policy where everyone has to take turns sitting out here for a week. It sucks because the computers are very slow. The phone system is nice, though. I'll give them that.
Ilsa Fujimoto: you didn't even mention that you'd be out there this week
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought I did. I've been complaing to anyone who will sit still for five seconds.
Ilsa Fujimoto: no you must've forgot in all your excitement over the Bachelor
Vladimir Yakamura: excitement is a strong word, Hillary
Ilsa Fujimoto: I know that's why I #$% used it
Vladimir Yakamura: calm down there, crazy
Vladimir Yakamura: why don't you go out into the courtyard and hyperventilate?
Ilsa Fujimoto: you don't go $^&( yourself
Vladimir Yakamura: Maybe I will. And it will be the most dramatic one ever!
Vladimir Yakamura: I don't want to eat out, but I want to get out of here for a while, you know?
Ilsa Fujimoto: yeah, totally
Vladimir Yakamura: It looks so nice out
Ilsa Fujimoto: it is
Vladimir Yakamura: I should be walking in the woods and then come home to a roaring fire and a nice dinner
Ilsa Fujimoto: when did you become Ward Cleaver
Vladimir Yakamura: About the same time you forgot how to accessorize
Ilsa Fujimoto: that never happened, skank
Vladimir Yakamura: whatever you have to tell yourself
Vladimir Yakamura: what kind of Mexican vegetable/salad would be good for a Mexican dinner?
Ilsa Fujimoto: why you asking me beaner?
Vladimir Yakamura: Isn't there an old proverb about asking the slowest among us for ideas?
Ilsa Fujimoto: then you should ask yourself
Vladimir Yakamura: Ooh - good one. Except not.
Ilsa Fujimoto: you're the one being heinous'
Vladimir Yakamura: If heinous is the new word for awesome, then yes
Ilsa Fujimoto: oh lord, denial is never pretty
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, I do feel pretty. I'm singing the song
Ilsa Fujimoto: I'm surprised that people haven't run from you yet
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm singing Animal from Def Leppard. Everyone loves that song
Ilsa Fujimoto: especially when you sing it
Vladimir Yakamura: It's the interperative dance that reels them in
Vladimir Yakamura: but it's the sequined jumpsuit that makes them stay
Ilsa Fujimoto: yes, that would be the natural reaction
Vladimir Yakamura: I want to run away. To where all the linens smell of Febreeze
Vladimir Yakamura: I think I'm going to drive somewhere at lunch. I need to find a mailbox to send my Netflix movies back and to send out this year's Halloween cards
Ilsa Fujimoto: that sounds like a great idea
Vladimir Yakamura: I know
Ilsa Fujimoto: sometimes you have them
Vladimir Yakamura: and sometimes you don't
Ilsa Fujimoto: sometimes you feel like a nut
Vladimir Yakamura: Always with the potty mouth
Vladimir Yakamura: Ok, I'm running out for awhile. I, like herpes, shall return!
Ilsa Fujimoto: k
Vladimir Yakamura: How are there NO public mailboxes out here? Don't these morons ever need to send mail?
Ilsa Fujimoto: no, they can't write
Vladimir Yakamura: Idiots. I'll have to find a box on the way home
Vladimir Yakamura: gotta get my cards out!
Ilsa Fujimoto: I know!
Vladimir Yakamura: If you have a spare minute, go to www.santabot.com
Vladimir Yakamura: Try and have a real conversation with it. It's hysterical.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm taking Friday off
Ilsa Fujimoto: cool, this site is funny
Vladimir Yakamura: I wish I could save the chat logs. I've had two great conversations with it.
Vladimir Yakamura: It just told me it's gestation period was almost complete
Ilsa Fujimoto: that's funny, gotta go
Vladimir Yakamura: bye

Vladimir Yakamura: Are you here to kill my baby?
Ilsa Fujimoto: totally
Vladimir Yakamura: Awesome
Ilsa Fujimoto: I can't believe that you liked that show
Vladimir Yakamura: I was kidding. I mean, it's not the wad of heinousness you thought it was, but I won't be tuning in every week.
Ilsa Fujimoto: are you kidding?>???? Totally heinous, that AA scene, I'm still smarting from that
Vladimir Yakamura: I kind of glossed over that whole thing
Ilsa Fujimoto: pain-ful!!!!
Vladimir Yakamura: I know who is getting the season 1 dvds next year!
Ilsa Fujimoto: I know who's going to jump from the Sear's tower to catch a rose
Vladimir Yakamura: That would be like a fairy tale journey
Vladimir Yakamura: I had an awesome dinner last night. Curry chicken, basmati rice, samosas. Mmmmmm
Ilsa Fujimoto: that does sound delish. I had 3 cranberry martinis
Vladimir Yakamura: good and good for you!
Ilsa Fujimoto: no urinary tract infection for me!
Vladimir Yakamura: Uh - good?
Ilsa Fujimoto: that's why it's good for me
Vladimir Yakamura: Why isn't it 3:30 yet?
Ilsa Fujimoto: because everyone hates you
Vladimir Yakamura: Wow, ok
Ilsa Fujimoto: you always get to say that to me
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, but in your case, it's true
Ilsa Fujimoto: ditto
Vladimir Yakamura: I haven't made anyone cry in at least 13 years
Ilsa Fujimoto: liar!!!!!
Ilsa Fujimoto: I'm crying right now
Vladimir Yakamura: in your beer?
Ilsa Fujimoto: yuck, beer
Vladimir Yakamura: excuse me, wine cooler
Ilsa Fujimoto: excuse you again,. tini
Vladimir Yakamura: Just because its in a martini glass, doesn't make it a martini, Sandra Lee
Ilsa Fujimoto: just because it's Mexican doesn't mean it isn't a bitch
Ilsa Fujimoto: oh, yes I did
Vladimir Yakamura: did what?
Ilsa Fujimoto: ummm, call you a bitch
Vladimir Yakamura: I see you're working on the case of Pot v Kettle again
Ilsa Fujimoto: no it's the tort case of I'm rubber, you're glue
Vladimir Yakamura: That was overturned on appeal
Vladimir Yakamura: so I'm afraid it's all stuck to you
Ilsa Fujimoto: no, it was remanded back to the circuit court for a new trial and the jury found the same so it's stuck to you
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm sorry, I don't believe in your earthly laws, I only listen to a higher court
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes, that's right - Thor is my co-pilot
Ilsa Fujimoto: hehe
Vladimir Yakamura: I should go out for lunch
Ilsa Fujimoto: can you with those bastards breathing down your neck?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, I won't be gone for hours or anything. I need to run to Walgreens
Ilsa Fujimoto: it's just that you said it was really hard to get away now
Ilsa Fujimoto: do you have L.C. there?
Vladimir Yakamura: yes, but I still need stuff from Walgreens
Ilsa Fujimoto: the questions are not mutually exclusive
Ilsa Fujimoto: just adding to
Ilsa Fujimoto: whatcha need at Walgreen's?
Vladimir Yakamura: Massage oils
Ilsa Fujimoto: who doesn't
Vladimir Yakamura: it's why my furniture is Scotch Guarded
Ilsa Fujimoto: you never be too careful when you're hosting orgies these days
Vladimir Yakamura: No one ever brings Host/Hostess gifts to those. Whatever happened to good manners?
Ilsa Fujimoto: I know
Vladimir Yakamura: a bottle of wine, some nice hand towels, maybe a stationary set...
Ilsa Fujimoto: right, these people have no home training

Vladimir Yakamura: Great. Back at work.
Ilsa Fujimoto: morning sunshine
Vladimir Yakamura: back at you, twinkletoes
Vladimir Yakamura: what's new?
Ilsa Fujimoto: work, work, work
Vladimir Yakamura: well, that's good
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm just counting down until lunch
Ilsa Fujimoto: L.C.
Vladimir Yakamura: yes, I brought several to choose from
Ilsa Fujimoto: What kinds?
Vladimir Yakamura: I just grabbed
Vladimir Yakamura: mostly chicken
Ilsa Fujimoto: ah, grab bag
Vladimir Yakamura: i'll be surprised at lunch
Ilsa Fujimoto: me too
Vladimir Yakamura: I'd like to leave, though. Now that I've tasted freedom, I don't want to be cooped up
Ilsa Fujimoto: hehe
Ilsa Fujimoto: I'm really hungry
Vladimir Yakamura: have an apple
Ilsa Fujimoto: I would if I had one
Vladimir Yakamura: i bought some cortland apples yesterday. they are chilling in my refrigerator
Ilsa Fujimoto: brb
Ilsa Fujimoto: had to get a sandwhich
Vladimir Yakamura: mmmm, sandwich
Vladimir Yakamura: i'm drinking ice water
Ilsa Fujimoto: me too
Vladimir Yakamura: copycat
Ilsa Fujimoto: i was doing it first
Vladimir Yakamura: i was doing it before it was cool
Ilsa Fujimoto: i so knew you were going to say that
Vladimir Yakamura: you must be psychic
Vladimir Yakamura: or a big, fat liar
Ilsa Fujimoto: i knew it because i was going to say it
Vladimir Yakamura: maybe you should sign up for America's Psychic Challenge
Ilsa Fujimoto: knowing you were going to say that, I already did
Vladimir Yakamura: then I'll look for you this week on the premire
Ilsa Fujimoto: you should because it will be the most dramatic rose ceremony ever
Vladimir Yakamura: every day for me is the most dramatic rose ceremony ever
Vladimir Yakamura: i want some chicken 'n taters for dinner
Ilsa Fujimoto: you're going to have to wait for tomorrow to start cooking'
Vladimir Yakamura: is it hot out?
Ilsa Fujimoto: yup
Vladimir Yakamura: thunderstorms tonight
Vladimir Yakamura: then 56 degrees tomorrow
Vladimir Yakamura: Ugh. 5 more hours to go
Ilsa Fujimoto: hehe
Vladimir Yakamura: are you at home or in the office?
Ilsa Fujimoto: ofc
Vladimir Yakamura: ahh
Ilsa Fujimoto: I'm tired
Vladimir Yakamura: me too
Vladimir Yakamura: i think i might be schizophrenic
Ilsa Fujimoto: why?
Vladimir Yakamura: i keep smelling almonds
Ilsa Fujimoto: that's because I'm putting arsenic in your food
Vladimir Yakamura: if that were true, i'd be eating better
Ilsa Fujimoto: true
Ilsa Fujimoto: could you go to court for me?
Vladimir Yakamura: sure
Ilsa Fujimoto: awesome, I'm on my way to drop off files
Vladimir Yakamura: i'll just wing it
Vladimir Yakamura: I'll use the 'help a brother out' defense
Ilsa Fujimoto: always a winner
Vladimir Yakamura: better than always a weiner
Ilsa Fujimoto: usually
Vladimir Yakamura: unless your name is Schwartzmunkenschanz and you own a sausage emporium
Ilsa Fujimoto: true
Vladimir Yakamura: we're going to be moving up all the Arab World stuff this year, so if you want to get a head start on not volunteering, you should start not doing it now
Ilsa Fujimoto: yeah, I'll get right on that
Vladimir Yakamura: Why don't you just sign up to volunteer and then not show up? That's a very popular choice.
Ilsa Fujimoto: yes, I've heard that's what all the cool kids are doing