Princess Tofu: Helloooooooooo!

Vladimir Yakamura: What up, girlfriend?

Princess Tofu: Not much.  I had to work late.  My old ass is tired

Vladimir Yakamura: shaking your money maker can be exhausting

Princess Tofu: At my age, changing my mind is exhausting

Vladimir Yakamura: you have a...never mind

Princess Tofu: ?

Princess Tofu: Oh, mind

Vladimir Yakamura: yes.  didn't want to have to explain it

Princess Tofu: bitch

Vladimir Yakamura: I just walked in the door from my Arab Fest meeting

Vladimir Yakamura: I'm now tagging the pictures I uploaded from my phone

Princess Tofu: of what?

Vladimir Yakamura: just us sitting around, doing Arab Fest meeting things

Princess Tofu: Where can I view these mystical images

Vladimir Yakamura: on Facebook

Princess Tofu: Really? Under what

Vladimir Yakamura: my profile

Princess Tofu: As Dan or something more interesting

Vladimir Yakamura: I have an account on Facebook

Vladimir Yakamura: why at work so late?

Princess Tofu:  I swear facebook hates me. Working on a huge project for Harley Davidson.

Vladimir Yakamura: Oooh, how butch

Princess Tofu: It's a girly calender of air brushe bitches

Princess Tofu: brushed

Vladimir Yakamura: how many did you take?

Princess Tofu: none.  i have to wait till we are done to see if we have extras.  Why?  Do you have someone in mind?

Vladimir Yakamura: you know how much i likes the titties

Princess Tofu: Oh, I want to see it hanging in your house!!!!!

Vladimir Yakamura: i'll hang it in the bathroom

Princess Tofu: What a fine spot for it

Vladimir Yakamura: do you think a house would be worth less if the bathroom had a giant, tiled shower rather than a bath tub?

Princess Tofu: It kind of depends.  Some people are really freaky about not having a tub.

Princess Tofu: I'd prefer the shower

Vladimir Yakamura: me too

Princess Tofu: A bathtub is useless

Vladimir Yakamura: if you can't lie in it, yes

Princess Tofu: Where the hell did they get that tub

Vladimir Yakamura: dwarfs are us

Vladimir Yakamura: it's a standard tub, actually

Princess Tofu: Oh, I've got it.  You need one of those tubs that they advertise that you can sit in with the little door.

Vladimir Yakamura: ooooh, yeah

Vladimir Yakamura: i want to rip out the tub and replace it with a big, tiled shower

Vladimir Yakamura: and have a tiled floor that heats up in winter

Princess Tofu: I'd still go for the sitting tub.  You could soak your junk in style.

Vladimir Yakamura: i'll save that for the nursing home

Vladimir Yakamura: i want a giant shower with dual shower heads

Princess Tofu: You don't have alot of space to work with.  You would turn it on, and it would be like getting hit with a fire hose.

Vladimir Yakamura: it's plenty big enough

Princess Tofu: Get rid of the vanity.

Vladimir Yakamura: i'll get rid of you!

Princess Tofu: Wow! Testy aren't we!\

Vladimir Yakamura: perhaps

Princess Tofu: That vanity is ugly

Vladimir Yakamura: so is Joe

Princess Tofu: Who is joe

Vladimir Yakamura: Joe Mama

Princess Tofu: Gosh it's not nice to pick on the handi-capable

Vladimir Yakamura: I thought she was cripple-tastic

Princess Tofu: Now she's cripplelicious

Vladimir Yakamura: hey, it's 11:30pm.  let's come home and blast our stereo!

Princess Tofu: Oh great, Let the friday night fights begin

Vladimir Yakamura: i don't think one of them is home

Vladimir Yakamura: the car is gone

Princess Tofu: maybe someone went for ammo

Vladimir Yakamura: i hope they are out soon so I can tear off the roof

Princess Tofu: Yeah it would be nice to get that done.  Why don't you suggest they leave now.

Vladimir Yakamura: they might ask for some money back

Vladimir Yakamura: and i ain't giving them any

Princess Tofu: fuck them.  I bet there is damage somewhere

Vladimir Yakamura: yes, to my delicate sensibilities

Princess Tofu: besides that my little daisy

Vladimir Yakamura: i'm sure everything is in good shape.  cleaner than when they moved in

Princess Tofu: Crap.  Maybe they will have a good old fashioned donneybrook before they leave.

Vladimir Yakamura: Donnybrook?  You know Howard Taft isn't in the white house anymore, right?

Princess Tofu: He isn't?  When he hell did that happen.

Vladimir Yakamura: after the invention of the horseless carriage

Princess Tofu: Damn!  Why am I always the last to know

Vladimir Yakamura: your telegraph machine must be out of order

Vladimir Yakamura: have Morse come and look at it

Princess Tofu: Damn new-fangeled technology.  Give me a can with a string anyday!

Vladimir Yakamura: yikes, those old fashioned tampons must have hurt!

Princess Tofu: Why yes they do

Princess Tofu: But very effective.  And they make baby birthing easier tooo!  The kids can just walk right out

Vladimir Yakamura: I don't know nothing 'bout birthin' no babies

Princess Tofu: Thanks Kizzie

Vladimir Yakamura: who>

Princess Tofu: From "Gone with the Wind"

Vladimir Yakamura: Wasn't that Sissy?

Princess Tofu: Well, you were there.  You ought to know

Vladimir Yakamura: At least I didn't help Noah round up the animals...

Princess Tofu: Stop dissing my mom

Vladimir Yakamura: I'm dissing you.  Your mom helped Adam and Eve pack to leave the garden

Princess Tofu: Oh, that's right

Princess Tofu: I think for christmas we'll have her carbon dated

Vladimir Yakamura: hehe

Princess Tofu: And then cut her in half and count her rings

Vladimir Yakamura: nice

Princess Tofu: I just love her

Vladimir Yakamura: i can tell

Vladimir Yakamura: it's like a hallmark card

Princess Tofu: Well the court said i had to

Vladimir Yakamura: when do the 12 steps kick in?

Princess Tofu: Hers or mine

Vladimir Yakamura: yours.  i want my apology

Princess Tofu: for what

Princess Tofu: Oh yes, making amends

Vladimir Yakamura: i'm sure I can think of something

Princess Tofu: i bet you can

Princess Tofu: you know we only got to the meetings for the snacks

Vladimir Yakamura: the only reason I go to work

Princess Tofu: i'm a free coffee whore

Vladimir Yakamura: you're many kinds of whore

Princess Tofu: i like to keep my options open

Vladimir Yakamura: who doesn't?

Princess Tofu: mormons

Vladimir Yakamura: Asha says hi

Princess Tofu: give her a good scratch for me

Vladimir Yakamura: ok

Vladimir Yakamura: Are you free tomorrow?  I'm going to make Indian food.  Butter chicken, samosas, basmati rice, naan...plus real Indian soft drinks

Princess Tofu: do you realize there are 500 dan pena's on facebook

Vladimir Yakamura: really?

Vladimir Yakamura: fun!

Princess Tofu: Actually i have to work again

Vladimir Yakamura: what?  Bitch

Princess Tofu: I have to save my pin money for a boob job

Vladimir Yakamura: what about the calf implants?

Vladimir Yakamura: pin money?  James Buchannon isn't president, either

Princess Tofu: I don't care if calves get implants.  I say fake boobs for everyone

Vladimir Yakamura: i know too many fake boobs now

Vladimir Yakamura: I'm sorry you can't make it for dinner.  It's going to be Indian-riffic

Princess Tofu: That sucks.  I'll have to give you a rain check for next week.  When's st pat's day

Vladimir Yakamura: two weeks

Princess Tofu: What day of the week

Vladimir Yakamura: dunno 

Vladimir Yakamura: tuesday or something

Princess Tofu: What a shitty drinking day.  I dare you to wear your shirt to work

Vladimir Yakamura: we can't wear tshirts

Vladimir Yakamura: as outerwear

Princess Tofu: Wear it under your shirt 

Vladimir Yakamura: that's no fun

Princess Tofu: Whip it out when necessary

Vladimir Yakamura: hehe

Princess Tofu: Your shirt

Vladimir Yakamura: oh

Princess Tofu: Gutter mind

Vladimir Yakamura: yeah, well

Princess Tofu: Seriously, how the hell do i find you on facebook

Vladimir Yakamura: what did you sign up as?

Princess Tofu: kelly keith

Vladimir Yakamura: I added you

Princess Tofu: I don't think there is 500 of me

Vladimir Yakamura: there are.  all men

Princess Tofu: Oh, then it is me

Vladimir Yakamura: all the irish lads

Princess Tofu: lucky stars

Princess Tofu: I could slap my mother for giving me a boy's name

Vladimir Yakamura: it's unisex

Princess Tofu: not spelled kelly

Vladimir Yakamura: how else would you spell it?

Princess Tofu: kelli, Kellie, kelley

Vladimir Yakamura: when did you become black?

Princess Tofu: Oh crap

Vladimir Yakamura: How about Keli?  or Kellea?

Vladimir Yakamura: Kellee

Vladimir Yakamura: Kelleeeeee

Princess Tofu: Actually, when I was in 6th grade, we had 6 girls named kelly in the same class.  And yes those are spellings that are accepted

Vladimir Yakamura: Not by me

Princess Tofu: fuck you, it's irish

Vladimir Yakamura: Kelly is

Vladimir Yakamura: none of that other bullshit

Vladimir Yakamura: how about like the movie?  KEL-E

Princess Tofu: ooooooooooooooooooo!

Vladimir Yakamura: Actually, you sound like supermans mother.  Jor-el and Kel-e

Princess Tofu: Thanks.  That makes me feel so much better

Vladimir Yakamura: Sure.  Sucks about your home planet.

Princess Tofu: yeah, whatever

Vladimir Yakamura: oooh, bitter about the destruction of Krypton

Princess Tofu:  a little

Vladimir Yakamura: I'm not the one on the council who wouldn't listen to your husband's crazy ass theories about geological instability

Princess Tofu: You question someone's sanity once and it follows you forever

Vladimir Yakamura: just like the clap

Princess Tofu: You would know

Vladimir Yakamura: yes, from my work in the free clinic.  Remember?  That's where I met you?

Princess Tofu: Ah............Those were the days..... Fighting for the resistance

Vladimir Yakamura: hehe

Vladimir Yakamura: Well, honeylamb, i have to get to bed so i can be fresh and perky for tomorrow's event

Princess Tofu: God i would pay to see you fresh and perky

Vladimir Yakamura: me too

Princess Tofu: he he

Vladimir Yakamura: oh, and fuck you

Princess Tofu: Thank you.  i do my best

Vladimir Yakamura: did that sound bitter?

Princess Tofu: gosh no

Vladimir Yakamura: good

Princess Tofu: whore

Vladimir Yakamura: well, sorry you have to work.  You're going to miss a swell time

Princess Tofu: we will meet again when the moon is full

Vladimir Yakamura: can you bring the wool of bat?  I'm all out

Princess Tofu: Yes I can

Princess Tofu: Good night

Vladimir Yakamura: bye!!!!!