Vladimir Yakamura: You know, you don't have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude
Ilsa Fujimoto: really???
Vladimir Yakamura: It's true
Ilsa Fujimoto: I guess I've been listening to the wrong people
Vladimir Yakamura: You do run with a fast crowd
Ilsa Fujimoto: you know how I roll
Vladimir Yakamura: mmm, hot rolls with butter
Ilsa Fujimoto: already fantazing about food/
Vladimir Yakamura: Are you telling me you wouldn't eat hot rolls with butter?
Ilsa Fujimoto: I wouldn't not eat them but I'm not daydreaming about them
Vladimir Yakamura: Well you were the one who brought it up
Ilsa Fujimoto: ummm, okay, how's that sinus medication working out for you?
Vladimir Yakamura: I've been freebasing it
Ilsa Fujimoto: clearly
Vladimir Yakamura: Ooh, that hurts
Ilsa Fujimoto: hurts so good
Vladimir Yakamura: Ok, John Cougar Mellancamp
Ilsa Fujimoto: oh no you didn't
Vladimir Yakamura: Sorry, forgot you dropped the 'cougar' part
Ilsa Fujimoto: damn skippy
Vladimir Yakamura: what are you working on?
Ilsa Fujimoto: just working on a sentencing and this afternoon, that DNA case I was telling you about. How about yourself
Vladimir Yakamura: Just looking over some stuff
Vladimir Yakamura: thinking about jamming to some tunes
Ilsa Fujimoto: I have Sinead on now
Vladimir Yakamura: O'Connor or Lohan?
Ilsa Fujimoto: Lohan?
Vladimir Yakamura: Yes
Vladimir Yakamura: Sinead Lohan
Ilsa Fujimoto: never heard of
Vladimir Yakamura: doesn't surprise me
Ilsa Fujimoto: well, enlighten me
Vladimir Yakamura: If I only had that kind of time
Vladimir Yakamura: When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, suddenly I'm part of a caravan fighting my way through a snowy pass in the height of winter, being forced to eat our dead to stay alive. Brrrrrr!
Ilsa Fujimoto: some times you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't
Vladimir Yakamura: Mmm, salty, salty nuts
Vladimir Yakamura: I have a headache
Ilsa Fujimoto: take head on, apply directly to the forehead
Vladimir Yakamura: Screw that. Where's the morphine?
Ilsa Fujimoto: I'd rather have my tylenol sinus. It's so wonderful
Vladimir Yakamura: Sounds like a personal problem. I smell an intervention!
Ilsa Fujimoto: no problem, just bliss
Vladimir Yakamura: I still want to do an intervention
Vladimir Yakamura: What time should I be over for lunch?
Ilsa Fujimoto: why don't you come at 11:30, I won't be here
Vladimir Yakamura: Just for that, I will. And I will bring my good friends gasoline and matches.
Ilsa Fujimoto: great, I can rebuild then
Vladimir Yakamura: better? faster? stronger than he was before?
Ilsa Fujimoto: oh yes indeed
Vladimir Yakamura: what kind of lame-ass bionics would you get today for $6 million?
Ilsa Fujimoto: a toe
Vladimir Yakamura: I thought you were going to be making pancakes and bacon?
Ilsa Fujimoto: well it is National Say the Opposite Day, so yes I am
Vladimir Yakamura: Actually, Miss Smartyboots, it's Talk Like A Pirate Day
Ilsa Fujimoto: It's Talk Like a Pirate Day a lot. It seems like very month someone says that
Vladimir Yakamura: No, it's true. Sept 19 is the official day
Ilsa Fujimoto: but haven't you noticed that?
Vladimir Yakamura: well, I say things like that all the time. It's 'talk like a pirate day' or 'bad irish accent day'
Vladimir Yakamura: I think you're about to get some mail!
Vladimir Yakamura: Or herpes, my magic 8 ball is kind of wonky
Ilsa Fujimoto: hehe
Vladimir Yakamura: You ever heard of Delerium?
Ilsa Fujimoto: Yes, I know many people who suffer from it.
Vladimir Yakamura: You need some new material
Ilsa Fujimoto: you need a kick in the nads
Vladimir Yakamura: Wow! hostile!
Vladimir Yakamura: I was going to offer you some cool music, but now you can just walk the plank, you landlubber. Arrrrr.
Ilsa Fujimoto: C'Mon, I'm clearly having a mental break, please send me some music!!
Vladimir Yakamura: well, I can't from here
Vladimir Yakamura: but delerium is quite nice. It's kind of like Enigma from back in the day
Vladimir Yakamura: or a dancier version of dead can dance
Ilsa Fujimoto: well, send it later?
Vladimir Yakamura: sure from home
Vladimir Yakamura: maybe some sinead lohan. She's an Irish lass
Ilsa Fujimoto: really, sounds awfully Russian
Vladimir Yakamura: You're thinking of Dvotchka O'Petrovich
Ilsa Fujimoto: Actually I was thinking of 50 cent
Vladimir Yakamura: My new rap name is 30 cent
Ilsa Fujimoto: mine is 8 million dollars
Vladimir Yakamura: Mine is Compound Interest
Ilsa Fujimoto: I thought that was your fat cat
Vladimir Yakamura: You just had to go there?
Ilsa Fujimoto: sorry, but yes
Vladimir Yakamura: We're thinking of going out for Pirate food for lunch
Ilsa Fujimoto: what would be
Vladimir Yakamura: moldy bread, oranges and our own urine when the brackish water runs out
Ilsa Fujimoto: sounds fabulous
Vladimir Yakamura: Aye, it does
Vladimir Yakamura: batten down the hatches, there's a fun storm approaching
Ilsa Fujimoto: oh lord
Vladimir Yakamura: Ahoy, good ship Lollipop - prepare to be boarded!
Ilsa Fujimoto: I think you need an intervention
Ilsa Fujimoto: I gotta go the gym, peace
Vladimir Yakamura: out

Vladimir Yakamura: Crikey! he's dead.
Princess Tofu: that's not very nice. it was an awful way to go.
Vladimir Yakamura: But let's be fair - unexpected?
Princess Tofu: Not really. I thought a croc would have got him a long time ago.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm totally surprised they're going to be burying him intact.
Princess Tofu: Where did you hear that? I just found out he was dead.
Vladimir Yakamura: I mean, after all these years, it's surprising he has all his extremities. He was stung by some kind of ray.
Princess Tofu: A stingray. The barb went right into his heart.
Vladimir Yakamura: Yikes!
Princess Tofu: Like I said. Nasty way to go.
Vladimir Yakamura: Stingray? or Croc's lunch?
Princess Tofu: Hard to choose, isn't it?
Vladimir Yakamura: oh yeah
Princess Tofu: The terrible thing is the stingrays actual sting is painful but not deadly.
Vladimir Yakamura: I guess it depends on where you get stung
Princess Tofu: I guess the heart would be a bad spot.
Princess Tofu: Or the penis.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm thinking anywhere would be bad
Princess Tofu: I bet it would really hurt if you got a stingray barb in the nads.
Vladimir Yakamura: If I had to get stung, I'd want it to be on your ass
Princess Tofu: Why my ass?
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, I sure as hell don't want it to be mine
Princess Tofu: Lovely. I'll remember that when your birthday rolls around on the 26th.
Vladimir Yakamura: eh, whatever
Princess Tofu: What the hell are you doing home. I figured you be out and about.
Vladimir Yakamura: Nope, just chilling
Princess Tofu: Yo, that's phat.
Vladimir Yakamura: Um, ok
Princess Tofu: how's my kitties?
Vladimir Yakamura: timir is washing and asha is looking out the window at something
Princess Tofu: how nice.
Vladimir Yakamura: yes, it's like a Norman Rockwell painting
Princess Tofu: just with cats not nasty children
Vladimir Yakamura: kids are great. especially braised in dark beer and served with waffle fries
Princess Tofu: and a lovely ranch cheez sauce.
Vladimir Yakamura: everything is better with ranch/cheez sauce
Princess Tofu: don't i know it!
Princess Tofu: so what's up?
Vladimir Yakamura: getting ready for the big bbq
Princess Tofu: what bbq?
Vladimir Yakamura: It's labor day. the big labor day bbq
Princess Tofu: Really? this is the first i've heard of this occasion.
Princess Tofu: What's cooking?
Vladimir Yakamura: chicken, burgers, corn, hot dogs, brats
Princess Tofu: Really? Where?
Vladimir Yakamura: Here at Chez Mediocre
Princess Tofu: How many people are there?
Vladimir Yakamura: None yet
Vladimir Yakamura: But the whole gang is coming. Sam, Carl, Little Tim, Eva, Big Mary, the Connor twins, Lazy Jack
Princess Tofu: Who!?!
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm not even going to dignify that with a response
Princess Tofu: Are you actually having a big bbq or is it just you and the pussy twins?
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm not having anything. It's raining out
Princess Tofu: Oh. i,m sorry the 3 pussies!
Vladimir Yakamura: You're sorry alright. Bitch.
Princess Tofu: Fuck you jackass.
Vladimir Yakamura: Well, this is fun!
Princess Tofu: No one is stopping you from doing something else. You are not a prisoner. if my witty banter is not to your liking, I can go back to what i was doing.
Vladimir Yakamura: Biting the heads off of small rodents?
Princess Tofu: No. spying on the neighbors.
Vladimir Yakamura: How old-ladyish of you
Princess Tofu: Hey you damn kids! stay off the lawn.
Vladimir Yakamura: Go out in your tatty housedress and pick imaginary stuff off of your lawn
Princess Tofu: Don't forget the turban and fluffy slippers.
Vladimir Yakamura: No, that's more for the LA crowd. You're just going for crazy midwestern old woman
Princess Tofu: Oh. Butt hanging out of my face, nylons rolled down and catseye glasses.
Vladimir Yakamura: Sure
Vladimir Yakamura: the tatty robe is the key
Vladimir Yakamura: and the lipstick bleeding into the cracks on your lips
Princess Tofu: And the terry cloth slipons.
Vladimir Yakamura: there you go!
Princess Tofu: I feel pretty........
Vladimir Yakamura: and when you get invited to neighborhood potlucks, bring your special chili. With the bamboo shoots and water chestnuts in it.
Princess Tofu: how could i bring anything else. I want to bring something cooked with love.
Princess Tofu: And bacon fat.
Vladimir Yakamura: don't forget to use italian sausage. and a seasoning packet that you burn on the bottom of the pan!
Princess Tofu: You forgot he lowgrade ground beef that is 97% fat to add to the sausage.
Vladimir Yakamura: Oh, I didn't foget. That's what's going to make it greasy.
Princess Tofu: Imagine when it cools, and you get that 4 inch layer crust of grease on the top you can cut off.
Vladimir Yakamura: you better save it! to add flavor to your other dishes
Princess Tofu: That goes without saying. How can you flavor your beans and smoked innards.
Vladimir Yakamura: i hope you mean canned grean beans
Princess Tofu: The very same.
Princess Tofu: Fresh or frozen are the devil's plaything.
Vladimir Yakamura: nothing like mushy side dishes for your next gathering
Princess Tofu: Well, depending on how many teeth are there, that may be alright.
Vladimir Yakamura: I never thought of that. Maybe it's cooking for the toothless
Princess Tofu: and senseless.
Vladimir Yakamura: and tasteless
Princess Tofu: amen.
Vladimir Yakamura: very nice
Princess Tofu: thanks. i do my best.
Vladimir Yakamura: I'm going to get going now
Princess Tofu: really? and do what?
Vladimir Yakamura: A list too long to start listing
Princess Tofu: enjoy.
Vladimir Yakamura: you as well
Princess Tofu: thanks. bye